tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post7322812814925967235..comments2023-11-29T08:58:41.094-08:00Comments on Playing Basketball From The Closet: My Early Gay EncountersBallerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-3261389292731143822010-05-08T08:22:17.714-07:002010-05-08T08:22:17.714-07:00We live in Mass so I had the Celtics on one TV and...We live in Mass so I had the Celtics on one TV and the Bruins on the other and both TV's disappointed last night. I grew up in Orange County which is ultra conservative and we lived in the suburbs so I had absolutely no roll models to observe. When I was a kid I lived in fear that they would give everyone a lie detector test when you turned 18 to see if you were gay or not. I didn't think beyond that as to what they would do if you were, I was just fearful of the disappointment I would cause with friends and family. I knew I was gay when I was like in 5th grade, I was always attracted to guys and knew it at the time. I had no idea what I wanted to do with them but I knew I wanted to spend time alone with a few of them with our clothes off. I did happen upon the occasional willing partner and after we did anything I would bolt from the scene in disgust at myself because it was beaten into my head that there was nothing normal to this and nothing good could come from it. When we moved up to Whidbey Island in Washington state an older guy probably 35 sought me out, I was 18 at the time on the ferry when I was on my way to meet a friend to see a movie. When we reached the other side he gave me a ride to my friends house and slipped me a piece of paper with his number. My mind was spinning and I didn't call him for a few months but when I did I met him somewhere and he took me to an even older guys house for a Party, he was probably 55 at the time. He was a Vietnam Vet and lived on a ranch in a huge house. I was amazed and impressed and I remember asking him "so you can be gay openly and be successful"? It was the first evidence I had in my life that this was possible and it was like a huge cement block was removed from my back, I was on cloud nine from that point. Every one was gay and successful at the party and I was in awe, I had the best time! About six years later I felt comfortable enough to come out to family and friends. Sorry to ramble on but your post brought it all back to me. Thanks, Seanseandmchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14779281459333746556noreply@blogger.com