tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76079556123439931622024-03-13T09:01:08.778-07:00Playing Basketball From The ClosetBallerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.comBlogger124125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-60635091862175683312015-12-21T10:00:00.000-08:002015-12-21T10:00:35.703-08:002 Years Later<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hey everyone,<br />
<br />
It's been forever since I wrote and since I checked my email, but i read an article on outsports today, about the soccer goalkeeper that came out a year ago and it got me checking on things again.<br />
<br />
A lot has happened since the last time I wrote, so i will just give a short update.<br />
<br />
The guy I met and was my BF, moved in with me more than a year and a half ago and he is no longer my BF, but more my husband :), we got married in the US with our families and it was great. Besides that we are hoping to be parents in the near future, so I can't ask for anything else in that area. I would never thought this was possible 4-5 years ago, but it's been an amazing change and an amazing ride and I couldn't be happier.<br />
<br />
Basketball wise, I'm still playing and still enjoying it, its always been my passion, so I guess the love never goes away. I'm not officially out, but as I wrote before, every one knows, everyone knows my partner and my story, also some of the fans know him from mutual events and it's just a common thing.<br />
<br />
I have been approached a couple of times by the media and asked if I would like to talk about the subject but so far I have declined. It's always on the back of my mind, I reached what I wanted and I have the things I wanted, and the only thing that is left in my mind is the option of maybe helping others by coming out, something that I still think about.<br />
<br />
It's nice to read and hear all the stories, but somehow I still feel that there is more to be achieved. It was great to see Jason Collins in the NBA, but it was short lived. We don't have out gay players in any of the major sports and it still feels like there is a barrier that has to be crossed.<br />
<br />
I always felt that the way things will happen is through college players that come out and make that next step to the pro's, maybe it will take some time till we see that, so for the meanwhile one can only hope.<br />
<br />
I hope that everyone is doing as well as possible and I wish everyone happy holidays and a happy new year and of course feel free to email me if you have any questions or any updates :)<br />
<br />
All the best..<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-25236473805340840382013-11-08T14:20:00.000-08:002013-11-08T14:20:09.825-08:00Just Checking In<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hey my friends,<br />
<br />
How are you?<br />
<br />
Just decided to check in and say hey and update on how things are going.<br />
<br />
Basketball wise, i'm doing well, back to playing after almost 10 months out. I had a long rehab process and towards the end had a little setback that made me wonder if I will be able to get back to playing, but things worked out well and I got back to playing.<br />
<br />
Sadly I was released from my team, but found a new home, a team with good people and a team that has some major goals for the future, something that is always fun to be a part of.<br />
<br />
As for the guy I met, surprisingly we are still together, it has been 5 months and things are great. Even though we live in different countries he comes to visit me once a month. Hopefully during 2014 he will move in with me and if things work out well, I can see myself having a family with him in the near future ( a year or two).<br />
<br />
He is a great guy, and it's the first time I feel in love with someone who is in love with me in a genuine way. Someone who is always there for me and someone that I know truly loves me. We talk all day long and it's a great feeling to have someone I can trust and someone that is always looking to talk and to be in touch and I never have that feeling of worry or those thoughts if things are serious or not.<br />
<br />
He is already met some people from my team, mostly management who is been really nice to him and are mostly happy for me. In his next visit, someone who became a good friend of mine is getting married and we will go together to the weeding.<br />
<br />
I just live my life on a regular way, even when he is here and we are out in the streets or anywhere else. In a nice coincidence he even got the chance to meet my family, which totally loves him and they are all FB friends all ready, so everything is great in that area.<br />
<br />
About professional sports, I'm pretty disappointed that Jason Collins hasn't signed anywhere yet, I don't really know if it has to do with him being gay or just him being over the hill and teams not wanting to mix those two things together, and sign someone who might be more of a headache and less of a player that can help them out.<br />
<br />
I have no doubt that the sports world is moving forward in the aspect of the gay issue in pro sports, but I still think that there is a big difference between what the players say to the media and what they say between themselves.<br />
<br />
In the country I play for, soccer is very big. I work with a couple of people who worked in different soccer teams, and they say that the players there are much more homophobic than any basketball player they met, and that the way they see things is more or less the way people viewed the gay issue 30 years ago.<br />
<br />
I guess only time will tell and only actions in the end will show everyone where things stand. Without knowing names or knowing specifics, I have no doubt that there are serval gay players in the NBA, just like they are some in european basketball and in different sports, we will wait and see if they do something about it.<br />
<br />
Hope all of you are doing well, if anyone has any questions or just wants to say something, feel free to find me through my email : anonymous.baller20@gmail.com.<br />
<br />
Enjoy your weekend..</div>
Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-84097700316876260062013-06-24T12:42:00.000-07:002013-06-24T12:42:10.430-07:00Six Months Later<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hey guys,<br />
<br />
I know it's been a long time, maybe too long, around 7 months I see, but I always say better late than never.<br />
<br />
As for me, i'm doing good, recovering from surgery, had shoulder season ending surgery pretty much earlier in the year and working everyday to get back to the court next year.<br />
<br />
As for my love life, met a great guy that was visiting here during the season. I will probably go meet him during the summer, he is cute and nice and a lot of fun to be around, but we are each in our own world, so don't really know how that can work out. However I will try to enjoy myself with a great guy and what ever happens happens.<br />
<br />
Besides that, of course I was really in to the whole Jason Collins story, I think its great and I hope that he gets a contract in the league. I think it's an amazing decision to do what he did, and from the people around the NBA that I talked to said only amazing things about him.<br />
<br />
It would be very interesting to talk to him and hear his side of the story, but I haven't put too much effort into that, but maybe will try later on.<br />
<br />
I think my life is summer completely different than a year or two ago, or even 7 months ago that I wrote last. I'm basically out, not publicly via newspaper or website, but in every other aspect i'm completely out, don't try to hide it or anything of the sort.<br />
<br />
I have been thinking a lot about coming out in the last year, even before the Jason Collins story, it still might happen, just have to see how a couple of things work out during the summer. Sadly enough this kind of thing still can influence how things shape up contract wise and things of that nature.<br />
<br />
Besides that just trying to recover from the Spurs losing the finals, but what can we do, guess sometimes it's just a matter of one rebound that decides a whole season.<br />
<br />
Guess that's it, just wanted to give you a short update and to say hey.<br />
<br />
Feel free to email if you want to say hey or anything else.<br />
<br />
Take care.</div>
Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-79874966616893325952012-11-17T12:36:00.000-08:002012-11-17T12:36:20.828-08:00Saying Hello<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hey everyone,<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Hope everyone is doing well, I stopped by my blog and saw that nothing has been written in 4 months so I decided to check in.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
To be honest it was kind of nice to look at my blog through the blogger website and check out some of the stats, to see that people from Saudi Arabia have taken a look at my blog, same from Morocco and other countries I didn't expect to have followers from. I wish they would have emailed me and that I would have gotten the chance to talk to them, but that's also heart warming.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Not a lot has changed in the last couple of months, I was excited to watch Obama win again, I must admit I stayed up almost all night to make sure he is doing ok. It was also great to see that all votes regarding gay marriage or gay issues won in the ballot, which is a first and a great step forward. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now I just need to find someone to marry and i'm all good :). As for my personal life? things aren't going as I wished, I mean, i'm going out, having fun, enjoying myself and not caring too much about being recognized or if someone will see me, but also didn't meet anyone special.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I met a really nice guy around a month ago, we met a couple of times and it was really great, but I think he got a little nervous that things might be getting serious and got cold feet, he is also younger than me, it was a little disappointing, but that's life i guess.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As for the guy that visited me and I visited him after, Tom, we haven't spoken since the "break up" or whatever you wish to call it. I most be honest and say that he hasn't come up too much and I haven't really missed him. I still feel that i'm usually attracted to the guys that aren't ready for anything serious or that will say that they aren't interested. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Also I still have a tough time finding people that approach me in bars to be attractive, but I guess i'm still a work in progress, I also find it that it's harder for me to hit on people in parties here than when I'm vacation, guess on vacation I don't think about consequences and just act, not like I feel over here.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Since basketball season is in full swing I get a chance to go out only once in a couple of weeks. I try to go only to parties that are exactly they type of parties that i'm sure I will enjoy. Sometimes people recognize me and ask a question here or there, but I guess most gay guys don't really follow sports, lucky me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
About the sports world and the gay part of it, it's nice to see a lot of straight players stand up for gay rights and basically human rights and it always gives me and i'm sure others a good feeling. About a gay athlete coming out while playing? it's a tricky question, as someone told me, we won't get a heads up, when it happens it will just happen, the sooner the better.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As for my basketball side, things are going well, the team is doing OK, not amazing, but I think we are getting and will get better with time and i'm also happy with my part so far, so I hope it continues to go well.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Guess that's it for now, still nice to get emails and be in touch with people, so feel free to do so if there is anything on your mind, enjoy your weekend.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-19684039647297458742012-07-02T12:15:00.001-07:002012-07-02T12:15:23.573-07:00End Of Vacation Part 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="direction: ltr;">
When
it was time to close up something small happened to me, that can
symbolize my whole trip and my situation in the "dating world". There
was a really gorgeous guy that I saw at the bar a couple of nights
before and didn't say anything, but this time, I went to say hey and he
was cute and nice, we talked and then I continued talking to my friends,
he told me not to leave without saying goodbye.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
Anyway
when the bar closed I waited for my friend that worked there to come
out and say goodbye, in the meanwhile that guy came out and started
talking to me, said that he is sad that I'm leaving and it's too bad
that we just talked now, he gave me a hug and then started kissing me
and he was amazing, cute, great smile and great body and we continued
kissing.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
He
said that I'm BF material and not someone he just wants to hook up
with, usually I don't look for those instant hookups, but it was my last
night and he was really great looking so I wanted it to happen. He
continued kissing me and I was telling him that we can go back to my
place and so on and so on. He said he can't hook up with me and that he
really likes me, for more then that.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
Now I'm not a kid and i know that some guys say that just to get out of the
situation, but the thing was that he continued kissing me and didn't
want to leave, it was great and kind of a annoying situation at the same
time. </div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
Of
course in the end he went home and I went home, just not to the same
home. I feel like this is really a good image of all my issues with
guys, that somehow I feel attracted to those who can't give me what i
want, I guess at this point I'm looking for those guys.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
It's hard to
deal and accept a lot of times, but this trip and seeing how I was hit
on by so many people and never liked any of them, besides maybe one that
also didn't turn out to be too useful and at the other end getting
turned down basically by every guy that I approached, granted I didn't
go up to too many guys, but I already knew what was going to happen
before I even tried.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
It
hurts me but I'm still optimistic that i will work on the things that
need to be worked and that I will get to the situation that I meet
someone that I like and that really wants to be with me, i'm sure that
I'm not going to give up just yet.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
All
in all it was an interesting vacation, still feel bad that Tom skipped
out and I couldn't spend time with him, cause he is as close as I got
to a good relationship and maybe he is the max that i'm able to handle
at this time of my life.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
But meeting all
the staff from the bar and having so much fun will always be in my
heart, they were amazing and it was just great to be there every night, I
already miss them all.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
In
other news, I signed an extension and I'm going back to the same team
that I played for last year, which will make everything easier since
management and coaches and everyone knows. I also know the city already,
so I can go out and try to have fun and meet some nice guys. There is a
lot of work towards the new season, but I feel like coming out and
telling people will also help me with basketball, but only time will
tell.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
Thanks
again for those who still follow me an have the patience to read even
though I don't publish too many things in the last months, hope all is
well with everyone..</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
</div>Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-73438741917207733212012-07-02T12:12:00.001-07:002012-07-02T12:17:40.998-07:00End Of Vacation Part 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="direction: ltr;">
Well, another vacation is in the history
books, i was writing this while on the plain on the way home. it was a
long vacation compared to the ones i usually take. It was interesting
and had it's ups and downs.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
last
time i wrote was after me and the guy i was dating split up, if you can
call you that, well, i told you that i saw him that night again and he
treated me like someone he barely knew, that hurt me, and it still
bothers me till today.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
However
I was happy that i resisted the urge that sometimes came up to contact
him, I deleted him from Facebook, just cause it was too much for me to
see him going out and posting pictures, that way I couldn't see it even
if i wanted to.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
Luckily
I didn't meet him again the whole vacation, I might say that somewhere
it bothered me, but I think it's better off that way, cause nothing good
would ever really come out of it.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
All
my friends are pissed at him and really mad, I told him that it was a
great experience and I enjoyed it and I'm happy that it happened.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
After
we went our separate ways I continued going out and trying to have fun,
If I'm on vacation there was no reason to sit at home and be miserable.
I met a really nice guy a couple of days later , I already wrote about
that last time around ,but besides meeting once i didn't hear from him
again, so surprising I guess.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
I continued to go out and try to have fun, it became pretty amusing at a
certain point, a lot of the guys at the club or bar would come up to me
and hit on me and I never went along with it because I didn't really
find them attractive. </div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
At
the same time if i saw a guy i liked I knew it wasn't going to happen, I
continued to amuse myself and go up to the guys I liked, some where
nice, some weren't, but again, no one showed interest. </div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
It's
amazing how our sub conscious controls those things, I do believe that I'm attracted to all the guys that can't really give me what I want,
which is a relationship, or maybe I just think that I want it.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
I
met another nice guy one night out, we made eye contact and in the end
he said hey, i was nice, but didn't really feel like doing anything
about it, however I saw him again a week after, he was cute and gave me
his number, we met for lunch and met again to hang out the next day, it
was great. Had a really really good time both outdoors and indoors. we
even went out to eat around 2 am after a long day together.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
He
was really cute and a cool guy, we talked about meeting again and
hanging out and he said that maybe I will join him for a night out of
the town during the week. After he texted and we exchanged text he
explained to me that he is going with friends for the weekend and
basically he disappeared. He continued texting from time to time, but I
was ambivalent, I saw him during the last weekend before I left.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
I
was nice and he started talking about meeting up before I leave, I told
him that it's cool and he knows where to find me, of course I knew what
will happen, so just before I left the club that night I went up to
him, gave him a huge and told him that it was nice meeting him, he said
that we will meet up during the weekend, but i knew why I was saying my
goodbyes. </div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
Besides
that I met another guy, but it was just to fool around, nothing serious
and something I usually don't do, but it happens to the best of us.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
However
I saved the best part for the end. It was the second year straight that
I was at the same place during my summer, mostly because of Tom, I met
him at a bar last year and saw him again there when we split up, so I
guess it's my local bar.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
Since I'm not really used to having gay friends
and hanging out with them I'm usually not to friendly or a big social guy, however I started talking to one of the bartenders at the
local pub, he was cute and always took care of me, so it was nice coming
there.<br />
<br />
I was there for most of my vacation and I started hanging out
with him and with the other bartenders, it was a different and cool
experience, we went bar hopping, and with another bartender I went to
see a movie, just being friends.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
Every
night that I came out I never paid for anything, not that it's the most
important thing, but it's always cool to go out, have fun, drink and
not have to pay for it. But to a certain extant it was the first time
that I was able to really enjoy the company of another gay guy without
feeling weird about it. I know that all of them wanted to go out with
me, or take me home or whatnot, but they understood that I had no desire
to do so, and they were really cool about it.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
I
continued going there and we continued to hang out, it was funny, I
knew everyone at the bar and all the staff and even the guys at the door
already knew what I did for a living, not that I really care anymore,
it is what it is.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
The
best part was the last night out before my flight home. I went out and
they decided that i have to drink a little more than I usually do,
because I'm not a big drinker.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
I had a blast, they didn't stop giving me
drinks all night long, again, not something crazy, but the alcohol came
out purring and it was fucking great, I was drunk at some point , or at
least tipsy and it made everything so much more fun. We took crazy
pictures, we started throwing ice and napkins at each other and
basically just behaving like stupid kids and having a blast.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr;">
<br /></div>
</div>Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-83028203565076936482012-06-04T07:25:00.001-07:002012-06-04T07:25:12.112-07:00Another Vacation<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hey everyone,<br />
<br />
Hope all is well with everyone and that those who follow basketball are enjoying the playoffs. With time, besides being a Heat hater i'm also quite the Celtics fan, so i'm happy with the situation.<br />
<br />
Out west I just want which ever team has the bigger chance of beating the Heat to come out victorious, but I don't really know who that will be, guess only time will tell.<br />
<br />
Any way, is you can all guess, the season is over and i'm already on my vacation, hasn't been 2 long, but it has started. On the first day I met my, I don't really know what to call him, but the guy I met last year and visited me during the season. I will call him Tom, it will just be easier.<br />
<br />
We had a great couple of days, it was fun as always and I enjoyed our time together. One night when we were just laying in bed I brought up a couple of things that bothered me.<br />
<br />
Not in the sense that I believed he could change or that things could really be serious, but I brought it up cause I care about him and if he wants any chance of a future with someone, which is probably not me, he has to know and at least try to work on it, for his own sake.<br />
<br />
I thought that this would probably have an impact, and I was right, it happened faster than i thought, he was supposed to come over after work, which he did, but he told me on the way that we need to talk. He sat me down and explained that I was right about what I said and that he needs to think and so on and so on.<br />
<br />
I really know the truth, and it's simple, every time he feels that someone is having strong feelings for him, giving him affection, love or however you want to call it, he feels it's too much and he has to run away.<br />
<br />
All of us, or at least most of us have issues with being loved, even though i'm sure most of us aren't aware to it. At least this time around he didn't run, but came and talked to me, which was better than I have gotten used to.<br />
<br />
It made me pretty sad to be honest, I know things well end soon, but didn't think that soon. Anyway, I decided not to sit around on my vacation and do nothing, so I decided to at least go out that night and dance and enjoy myself a little.<br />
<br />
Of course when I got to the place he was there also, when I saw him it made me feel pretty bad, now I decided to be the mature one and say hello, he was very close to me and sitting down. I came up to him, gave him a little pat on the head and smiled and moved back, his reaction was pretty mean. I'm guessing he didn't know how to behave, but it made me feel pretty shitty.<br />
<br />
Again, I know it's also my issues, not just him, but at that moment I felt like breaking a table over his head, i was really hurt, something that hasn't happened too much with him. Yeah, I was disappointed in the past, but I knew it wasn't done on purpose, but that one hurt me.<br />
<br />
After a couple of days, I decided that the vacation must go on, I'm not going to sit around and do nothing. I met a guy through the internet and we met up for a date. It was really great, he was more my type, he's funny and good looking and a really nice guy.<br />
<br />
We had a great time, I walked him home and we exchanged numbers, he didn't really have time yesterday, but we will see about today, I really like him. To some excitant I always knew that Tom (a.k.a guy from last year) and the relationship with him was also build on me enjoying having someone and feeling something different than I knew before.<br />
<br />
More than falling for him as a person, I won't lie, I love spending time with him, but we really don't belong in the same world and don't share any common interests or anything of the sort, like I answered a good friend of mine that asked me what do we have in common, so I told her that he is cute, that's enough for me.<br />
<br />
About the guy that I just met, I don't really think I'm going to hear from him again, for someone reason I still worry that I'm attracted to people who aren't able to give me what I want, if it's a relationship, commitment or just be there for me.<br />
<br />
I pretty much got over the random sex thing and if a couple of years ago I would do it and just want to leave after, today I only find myself hanging out with people that I would be happy to spend the day with also, and not just the night.<br />
<br />
So it's something good on the one side, but still worries me that I find myself attracted to people that aren't surely what I want or deserve. It's funny, when I go out to clubs, I really get hit on all the time, maybe I'm saying this to boost my ego, even though none of you really know me, but to be honest it's funny.<br />
<br />
I can get hit on by 15 guys and not like any of them, which is the case 95 % of the time. I mean, basically only guys that I approach are guys that I want to hang out with, which make sense, but still you would expect that at least I would like some of the guys who come up to me, go figure.<br />
<br />
So the vacation continues, I'm trying to have fun, thinking about starting to work out already towards next year and waiting to see what the day brings. Somewhere inside I still hope to hear from Tom, but i'm surely not going to be the one making the first move.<br />
<br />
That's more or less the situation for now, have a good one and thanks again for listening/ reading.<br />
<br /></div>Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-49932580352224812742012-05-09T02:19:00.001-07:002012-05-09T02:19:33.706-07:00Must Watch Video<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hey everyone. Hope all is well and your are enjoying the sunny days that are coming upon us.<br />
<br />
I'm doing well, playoff time is here, so trying to enjoy all the action, fans and everything around it. I admit that sometimes I get nervous before games, but for some reason i'm a little more nervous this week, just before our next game.<br />
<br />
Don't know what to make of it, but I will embrace it and I guess it just means that i'm excited and that I care about what I do, so that doesn't sound too bad.<br />
<br />
As for my "relationship" , since my visitor left a couple of weeks ago, we have been in touch, once in a couple of days, nothing dramatic, but we text each other from time to time.<br />
<br />
I'm guessing that we will spend a couple of weeks, or a month together this summer, but I expect it to basically be the end of that more or less. I mean after the summer I think I will have to accept the fact that he isn't the guy that can be in a serious relationship and that he isn't going to move with me to wherever I play.<br />
<br />
I want to enjoy what life has to offer, and I think I deserve and want to try to be with someone that wants to be with me and can be with me just like a normal couple and not a visit once in 4 months, but only time will tell if i'm right.<br />
<br />
Besides that, my vacation is going to be a little different this year, since I will be spending it with him, or at least that's the plan. I actually like the country that he lives in, so if it doesn't really work out, I can just do my usual vacation until I get back home.<br />
<br />
The reason I wrote this post was completely different, i'm sure everyone heard about amendment 1 passing in NC and basically banning gay marriage by law. which is hard to accept, but I already said it in the past, a lot of the americans are shallow people that don't have to much knowledge and know nothing but using the phrase: " it's what the bible says".<br />
<br />
It's just sad that people have so much hate in them and that for the most part those southern countries are racist and have no ability to accept minority groups of any kind, but I guess I won't be the one to change that.<br />
<br />
Anyway I came across a video on youtube that was made by Shane, a guy that found the love of his life and what happened after his partner died in an accident and all the events that followed, just because they have no legal rights and can't be married, it breaks the heart and it's hard to understand the ignorance of people.<br />
<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR9gyloyOjM&feature=player_embedded<br />
<br />
Take care my friends and I hope that in the future things will be different for those who just want to share their love with the one's they want to spend their life with. </div>Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-53914059847116900332012-04-27T08:54:00.001-07:002012-04-27T08:54:54.117-07:00It's Guest Time<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hey everyone, as some of you recommended before, I'm still trying to write from time to time.<br />
<br />
It's been an interesting couple of months. Last time I wrote that I more or less gave up on the guy I met in the summer and that I never heard back. I actually heard from his roommate a couple of days later, she encouraged me to try again and not to give up.<br />
<br />
We started texting again, but it was also on and off and I felt that it's not going anywhere. I decided to text him that I did everything I can, that I want him to come visit, that I will take care of the plane ticket and the other things, but he needs to decide what he wants.<br />
<br />
I told him that any answer is fine and I will still think about him even if he decides not to come, but I need to know. He surprised me and told me that he wants to come. I told him that once we decide on the dates I will take care of everything.<br />
<br />
Since that moment the on and off communication stopped and we talked almost everyday, there were some moments when I think he was a little nervous about taking time off from work with rent and bills and all the other things that every normal person deals with, but for the most time everything was going fine.<br />
<br />
As the time for him to come got closer I became nervous and I wasn't really sure if he would make it or not, just because of our history and my need to worry. In the end he landed, it was really weird, or maybe overwhelming is the better word. I picked him up from the airport and was just a great feeling to see him.<br />
<br />
He spent a little more then a week here, we went out to movies, to dinners, to clubs, site seeing, what ever we had time and energy to do. It was the first time I ever had someone live with me, even if it's just for a week, it was great and more fun than I could ever imagine.<br />
<br />
We got to know each other some more, it was almost a year between his visit and the last time we met. And after all we are just getting to know each other. It was fun to kiss in the club or just sneak a kiss in the street when not too many people are around. The feeling in general was just great, I was really one happy camper.<br />
<br />
We talked about the future and what were our options, as for now we decided to spend the summer together. I think I will fly out to him this time, and probably spend a large part of the summer over there.<br />
<br />
As for now, it's been some time since he has left and the feeling is awful, we both really miss each other and have a hard time handling the fact that we can't really see each other. I'm really feeling it, it's just a terrible feeling and there is nothing I can do. I hope we will be able to stay in touch and manage to pass the time until the summer.<br />
<br />
At the moment it just hurts and i'm guessing that he feels the same, but only time will tell. All in all it was great, but the after part is really hard, specially when we don't really know what we can do about it after the summer will be over, but will take it step by step.<br />
<br />
Me being gay isn't really a issue to me anymore, I have told some of the staff members on my team, everyone was happy for me and they were happy I shared the news with them and that I trusted them. I think a long with going out and letting some people know, the rumors will come out by themselves, but I don't really mind. If I will be back here next year I guess it won't really be a secret anymore.<br />
<br />
I feel great that I reached the stage that I feel comfortable to share the news with friends and co workers. It was important for me to also share the news with you guys, the same friends that I have had since I started the blog and have helped me out through some tough times.<br />
<br />
So thanks again and have a great weekend.</div>Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-17656320980757448482012-03-19T10:32:00.000-07:002012-03-19T10:32:23.165-07:00Party Machine<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well, I took your advice and decided to write just when I felt like it. So a lot has happened since the last time I sat down to write.<br />
<br />
I will begin with my friend overseas, I told you that I tried to reach him a couple of times and through different places but got no answers. I figured out that I don't really have too much left to do, but just leave it and face that nothing is going to happen.<br />
<br />
After a couple of days his roommate answered a message I wrote her, I had written the message almost two weeks earlier. I knew that they were really good friends so I wanted to hear what she has to say. She talked about the fact that he really cares about me and only has good things to say and that he is had his issues in the past and I shouldn't give up.<br />
<br />
I thought about it and texted him a couple of days later that I want to talk and asked for him to text me when he has time to talk, he did do that when he finished work. It was after I had a game that same night and it was around 6 am my time. We talked for about an hour and a half, about everything, about him coming to visit me next month, about spending the summer together and those kind of things. It was a great conversation and it gave me a good feeling.<br />
<br />
He said that he will text me the following day and will start looking at dates and to plan his visit, he didn't text that following day, he did text something the next day, but at that point I knew that nothing is really going to happen in the story, besides me getting disappointing over and over again.<br />
<br />
I didn't hear from him for a couple of days and I decided that i'm not going to try and reach out to him anymore, he texted me this morning, while I was sleeping, I replied when I woke up, but again, it's just one of those situations that I hear from him once or twice in two weeks and that's not for me, at least not right now, even though I truly miss him.<br />
<br />
Besides that I have been going out a lot over here, been out like four times this week, it was really fun, danced and enjoyed myself, met a nice guy, had a cup of coffee with him, just nice ordinary things, I guess something that most of just do on a regular base, so it was nice.<br />
<br />
When I first started going out I had a couple of great games that followed, so that was nice and also gave me a good feeling about everything, however the last two games weren't as good, which is always disspointing, but I had a feeling that I had passed a certain barrier that would allow me to play better and feel better and it's a little hard to deal with the fact that it's still not what I believe it can be, but I guess nothing came easy until now, so there is no reason for things to change.<br />
<br />
Thanks again and have a nice week</div>Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-27534422788352390972012-03-01T02:46:00.001-08:002012-03-01T02:46:55.710-08:00Going Out<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well, I really didn't think I would be doing this again, but sometimes we do things we didn't plan.<br />
<br />
I felt I had to write this, both because of me and also because of you that followed me through the last couple of years.<br />
<br />
About a month ago, which is around the time I decided to stop writing the blog I decided also to start going out and live my life. I decided not to talk about it, not to come out in a formal way, but just to start living my life and to see what happens.<br />
<br />
I went out to my first party a couple of weeks ago, I walked into a place in the middle of the week, and it was kind of empty, the good thing about it was that I didn't feel any pressure and I wasn't really nervous doing it. I was surprised and happy with that feeling.<br />
<br />
After seeing that it was kind of empty, I decided to go to another pub that I read about, not really knowing what to expect. I came in there and it was quite full, but was also nice, I found a corner to stand in and just watch a little bit and enjoy the atmosphere and everything around it. After a couple of hours I went home with a smile and a nice feeling.<br />
<br />
The funny thing was that just before I left I went to the bathroom and when I came out some guy yelled my name, I smiled and continued to walk out the door, not feeling nervous or anything of the sort.<br />
<br />
I got back home and continued my week as usual, the week after I read about another party, so I took the day off that we had and went over there, it was real nice, good music, some cute guys, some not as cute. I got hit on by a couple of guys, talked to a nice guy, danced, drank some water ( that's me going all crazy) and headed back home.<br />
<br />
Of course on the way out, someone mentioned my name, but I didn't really care. I was in a good mood and I was starting to live life, a couple of days later I was shocked. I finished practice and went to the locker room, when I got there I checked my phone and saw that the guy from my summer vacation added me on Facebook and messaged me that he really misses me and asked if we can talk.<br />
<br />
I really had missed him and it was so long that I didn't think I would hear from him. I called him and we talked, also about also meeting again, we exchanged texts for a couple of days and I was in a good mood, couldn't really believe all that was going on.<br />
<br />
After a couple of days of talking and texting we kind of hit a dead end, again same problems as before, the fact that we don't even live in the same continent or that we can't see each other more than two months in a year, he started pulling away and I put too much pressure on him at the same time.<br />
<br />
I didn't hear from him for a day or two, I tried texting, face booking or what not, but I didn't hear back, It was and it's still really hard on me. I tried to catch him three different times, but didn't hear back, so I gave up, I know that I might of pushed too much, but it was just because I was so excited to hear from him.<br />
<br />
It's funny that we still are Facebook friends and I can see him online from time to time, it's hard for me not to message him, but I got to respect his wishes I guess. It would have been nicer to hear him say something, but I guess I don't always accept that each one does things differently and I'm not the center of the world and can't always get my way.<br />
<br />
I'm still going out around once or twice a week, depends on our schedule and all the things around the team, i'm still having fun, getting hit on and just enjoying the change in my life. I'm passed the stage of the hookups, so I'm not really looking for it anymore, if someone really special comes along maybe I wouldn't mind starting there and seeing where it would go from there.<br />
<br />
Last time out I met another nice guy, we talked until the early hours of the morning and we might meet later this week again, I don't really know what to make of it or think about this whole situation, but we will see.<br />
<br />
I also don't know exactly how I would deal with a relationship, I mean, I don't have a problem being seen with a guy or going out on dates, it's time for me to live my life, but I don't know how I will cope with a relationship and trusting myself with someone else, after all the years that I was alone.<br />
<br />
As for coming out, It might hit the gossip columns eventually, or at least a hint about it, but for now I don't care, I don't feel like I need to shout it to the rooftops, but rather just live my life, maybe later on I will do the shouting part also, but only time will tell.<br />
<br />
It's weird that I was in such a great mood since all this started, but the last couple of days haven't been as good, it's been real difficult. Only because after hearing from the guy that I met in the summer after all this time and now losing connection with him again made me feel so much worse than just missing him. I haven't completely given up on him, I hope he calls or texts, but for now I just give him the space that I guess he needs.<br />
<br />
Well, that was what I wanted to tell everyone, hope all of you are doing well.<br />
<br />
Enjoy the weekend.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-85983904403258868592012-01-28T13:14:00.000-08:002012-01-28T13:23:47.298-08:00Time To Say Goodbye<div dir="ltr">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hey everyone, hope you are enjoying your weekend and that
the weather is not too bad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I haven’t written in the last ten days, so better late than
never. I’m doing well, feeling good with where I’m going in my personal and pro
career. I mean there hasn’t been any major change in the last two weeks, but I
just feel that my life is going in the right direction. Not sure if it will get
there in a year or more, but I have a feeling it will.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been thinking about my blog and where does it go from
here. I remember starting this blog as a frightened man, someone who didn’t
know where his life would go and being afraid to a certain point to get in
touch with other gay men and have a real conversation, even if it’s an online
one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However this blog changed everything, I found new friends
and I found people to share my life with. While it wasn’t with my identity or
too many details, I had the chance to write what I really felt and be accepted
for it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I started the blog I was just at the start of my development
as a person and as a gay man and this blog walked me through it, through
meeting new people and hearing from others and reading about their personal
stories and their life’s wisdom.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two years later, with 112 posts on my belt, 135 followers
and a lot of new internet friends I feel that the goal that I started this blog
for was reached. I can never really know when it’s time to stop and when I
should call it a day, but my heart tells me that it’s around here somewhere, in
the winter air.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I do know that it will be hard for me to stop posting
and I will miss the comments and people’s opinions, but I do know that nothing
in life is ever final, besides death of course, but luckily we are talking
about positive things.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I might miss it so much that I will get back to writing, but
for now I just feel that I put my heart into this blog , shared my feelings and
my worries, my hopes and even my dreams and I fulfilled my “mission” and the
reason I started this blog for.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do know one thing for certain; I will still check my email
every morning, and I will still be more than happy to get new emails and to
hear from all my friends and all the people that I met through this blog and
because of this blog. I might sometimes get back to you after a couple of days
and not straight away, but believe me that I will always be reading.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To say even more, I would be very happy if people that just
commented on the blog or just read and do feel like they want to keep in touch
in some sort of way will do it through my email, which is just to remind
everyone : <a href="mailto:anonymous.baller20@gmail.com" target="_blank">anonymous.baller20@gmail.com</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before I call it a day, I just really want to thank each and
every one of you that read the blog, commented on it, or just passed by on the
way. It means a great deal to me and it was the thing that kept me going in bad
days, the notion that I always had the blog to turn to and people to tell my
<br />
stories to. <br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I guess this is goodbye for now, thanks again for everything and have a great weekend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-3157737325289017452012-01-17T11:54:00.000-08:002012-01-17T12:54:15.459-08:00Knowing Me, Knowing YouHey everyone, hope everyone is enjoying the week.<br /><br />I know that I had a smile on my face after I saw the final result of the Broncos and Patriots game, finally a couple of weeks and months without reading about Tebow and his cult.<br /><br /> I also read somewhere that CBS ran another focus on the family add during Tebow's game this past Saturday. I don't really have anything to add, besides being disgusted with what this group represents and the backing that Tebow and his family give this anti-gay group.<br /><br />Besides that I saw a small article on ESPN, where the Chief of German soccer calls for gay soccer players to come out, interesting to hear his opinion on the subject.<br /><br />I actually wanted to go back and talk to you a little about my last summer and what has happened since. I wrote about the great guy I met over the summer and spent a couple of weeks with and what happened after.<br /><br />The fact that we lost touch and basically we both felt it would be too hard to keep in touch, not because of lack of ways to communicate, but that it would just hurt too much to be away and be and touch will we aren't able to see each other at all.<br /><br />Anyway I never stopped thinking about him, but it wasn't too painful, just the memories and the good times and the first time that I really felt a guy really wanted me, I mean wanted me for who I really am, for a relationship and to spend time together, and not just for sex, because of my outer appearance.<br /><br />Anyhow, the time moved on and I continued with my life and last month, as I wrote and asked for your advice on the blog, the guy had a birthday, I was thinking back and forth about sending him a message, should I do it, or should I not. In the end I decided to send him a message on facebook, just a short happy birthday.<br /><br />I didn't hear back, to be honest, I didn't really thing I would. I know I hurt him, not intentionally and not by doing something mean, but just by "showing up" in his life and leaving.<br /><br />I remember that the first night we spent together he didn't have any idea as to my personal life and I didn't tell him when I was leaving, because I wasn't sure how I feel about him. Something that when I look back means that it was something healthy, because it wasn't just a five minute crush.<br /><br />Anyway, I was doing OK, feeling a little lonely, but nothing out of the ordinary after not hearing back, but in the last couple of days I'm just going crazy. I mean, I just really really miss him, I know I can't do anything about it now or maybe in general, but it just hurts. I check his facebook page once in a while, even though I don't like the profile picture, LOL.<br /> <br />I know it would just be mean to try to contact him and I don't really have any great news to tell him. Even if I was out we don't even live in the same continent, so the best I can offer him his two months a year? Doesn’t sound like a great deal to me, but what do I know.<br /><br />I haven't even decided about the summer, if I will try to see him again or not. I really want to, but I don't really think anything good will come out of it, so it might just be a lose lose situation. I have enough time to think about it and see what the day will bring and how I will feel as time goes by.<br /><br />For now I have my thoughts and memories and all the days when I just really miss being with someone like that same guy I met in the summer. I'm sure it will happen again; in the meanwhile it just hurts.<br /><br />Enjoy your week my friends…Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-24546879234856139942012-01-11T12:51:00.000-08:002012-01-11T14:30:25.826-08:00In Good And In BadHey everyone, hope the new year is treating you well.<br /><br />As for me, was a busy time, but now things are more relaxed so I have more time for my baby, this blog that is.<br /><br />So, what about Tebow? this thing just doesn't want to end ah? I watched the whole game last Sunday, I was really surprised that the Steelers made it all the way back, but then they lost in the begining of OT. That was just too much for me, I hope that Brady gets the job done this weekend and will finally have some quite time and no more Tebow for a couple of months.<br /><br />Besides that, well, I'm waiting for the summer, it's been like 6-7 months since I have gone out to a gay bar, party or whatever, let alone met a guy, so I have only five more months to wait, doesn't sounds that bad, does it? I know it does, but that's life, waiting for the summer, to go all crazy, go out, have fun, eat unhealthy, I think that his year I will take a longer vacation, about time.<br /><br />I remember talking about this subject a long time ago, but I will put more emphasis on it this time. We all have our jobs and we all get paid for it, we go into work when we don't feel like and when we do, because it's our job and that's what ordinary people do, but in my profession, I feel a lot of times that people don't see it that way or think about it in that matter.<br /><br />I mean, we have a lot of fans that come to games and expect us to preform well, no one knows what has happened before, how things are in the team, how people feel, who has had a bad couple of days and who hasn't. It's like we are a blank page when we come to games, we are just people that need to get things done no matter what.<br /><br />I mean, I love basketball and it's my life, but it's hard to explain to people, and that's what i'm trying to do now. There are times when it's a nightmare, I mean it's fun to be a part of a team, to succeed, to be loved by the fans and to enjoy practices and meetings and trips and all of that.<br /><br />There is no basketball player in the world that will tell you that when he is doing good it isn't a great feeling, even if the team is losing and things of that nature when you play good everything looks brighter. Sometimes you hide it because you don't want people to think you are only thinking about yourself which is true in most of the cases, but not the right thing to say image wise.<br /><br />However there is the other side, the side when you don't play, you don't like your teammates, the fans aren't to great and the situation in general sucks, that's the problem. It happens to everyone, i'm happy to say that it has barely happened to me, but no one can escape it completely.<br /><br />You come to practice and just wait to go home already, you count the minutes and the seconds, when the games come and you barely play it really hurts you inside, at least it hurts me, can't speak for others, and at that point no money can make me feel better.<br /><br />I never go home and say, well at least I make good money so that's all that matters. I'm lucky to be doing the thing I love the most, so when that thing becomes cruel it's really hard to deal with, we can try to change it, but sometimes there are just seasons that everything goes in the wrong direction and it's a hard things to accept.<br /><br />The thing that is the hardest for me is the way that that feeling carries on to my life. When things are good and i'm playing and playing well, everything is much brighter and happier and i'm feeling good and enjoying life more, but when things go opposite it becomes a battle just to find anything to hold onto and pass the days with. It sounds a little harsh and it's not, i'm just trying to explain the big difference that basketball can have on my life. I guess it's a gift, but sometimes it can also be a curse.<br /><br />In the end of the day I feel lucky to do what I love and to get paid for it, it's just that people sometimes tend to forget that we, just like everyone else have our bad days and our bad periods and that it just happens, just like it happens in any job and to any person. I guess that when people pay for something they expect results and don't really care about anything else, surely not the person and his feelings, guess you can't blame them, can you?<br /><br />Enjoy the weekend my friends.Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-67806873856943107062012-01-01T13:23:00.000-08:002012-01-01T14:26:52.634-08:002012Hey everyone, been a long time since we last spoke, all the way back to 2011 I’m guessing. I'm sure I impressed you with my sense of humor.<br /><br />Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed last night, whether it was with their love ones, or partying or just hanging out with some friends. As for me, I was at home, didn't feel like going out and don't really enjoy the company of too many people lately. I mean, I just rather not fake everything then go out and be with people that I don't have too much in common with, or don't really interest me.<br /><br />I'm not trying to say that I only care about guys ore sex or things of that nature, it's just that I’m tired of the girl talk and all those things that are really the last thing that I want to hear about. I have to admit that this last week was a lonely one, I mean, I’m usually lonely, but in the last couple of days I felt it stronger than usual, it's just a bad feeling all around, I try to remind myself that this is the situation right now and there is nothing I can really do about it.<br /><br />So OK, we moved on to 2012, what does the future hold for us? Well, down the line we have the elections. I have to admit that I really hope Obama will win again, just because he has done a lot for the LGBT community. While on the other side sit a bunch of morons, at least that's how they sound to me, and talk about trying to preserve the natural family, all that bullshit that them and Tim Tebow spend their time wasting on, instead of actually trying to do anything useful. <br /><br />As for me, I was actually thinking about bringing up the subject of how the game you have week in and week out effects your mood, or in this case my mood, and just that we all forget that it's a game and It becomes pretty much a matter of life and death, but I will save that for next time.<br /><br />I usually don't make lists or think too much about what each year will bring and what will change in my life. This year I didn't write anything either, but I had a different feeling this year, can't really explain it. It's not really related, but Saturday I decided to really clean my house and make it ready for 2012, I mean, I just went at it, so at least the house looks all nice and pretty for the New Year.<br /><br />As for myself, like I said, I don't know what the future will bring, but I'm certain or almost certain that I had enough of being alone. I don't mean that I’m going to come out tomorrow and tell everyone that I’m gay, BUT I think I need to find a way to live my life, maybe without telling every person on this planet, but maybe just try to go out and find the balance.<br /><br />I'm guessing that if people in the country I played here knew, it would make some kind of headlines, on the other hand, I’m not sure that journalists and websites will look to out someone who doesn't want to be. I haven't played this out in my mind too much, but I have played with and against a couple of players that I knew we’re gay and so did the media, but no one wrote about it or mentioned it in anyway, but again, it's just things that are running through my mind.<br /><br />I just know that the last couple of days that I felt alone to the point that it just hurt was enough for me. It might take time and might not be next week or even in the next 9-10 months, but I know next year come December 31, 2012 I’m going to be either with my BF at home or going out on a date with someone, somewhere, at least I strongly believe in it.<br /><br />For the rest of you, I just want to wish everyone a great new year. That you enjoy it, find happiness, love and joy. I just truly hope that everyone can go to sleep with a smile on their face for the majority of this year and the rest of their life. I know it sounds catchy and even border line naive, but I do believe that in the end of the day that's one of the greatest things in life, the possibility to lay back in bed and look on the day we had or a couple of hours that we spent with someone special and just smile about it and embrace it.<br /><br />Before I say goodbye for tonight, I want to share a clip with you, I’m not sure how many of you saw it, but for those who didn't I recommend you do so. This is a clip of a young boy who passed away last week. He made this clip a week before his death; this reminds me that we should be thankful for waking up in the morning and just being alive. I know we never think of it or appreciate it, but sometimes a clip like this can remind all of us how lucky we are. I might not agree with the end of the clip, but I accept that everyone has his beliefs and is entitled to them.<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35O3E3T3GKQ&feature=share<br /><br />So again, Happy new year and all the best to all of you, my friends, where ever you are reading this from.Ballerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16765237119454186998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-42444826778345835972011-12-22T14:37:00.001-08:002011-12-22T14:39:00.562-08:00Holiday SeasonHey everyone, guess this is a good time to wish everyone a merry Christmas since we are only a couple of days away.<br />
<br />
The holidays always make me think about families and spending time with our loved ones. I feel blessed with the family I have and I wouldn't trade them for the world, but sometimes it gets lonelier during the holidays, just thinking about someone from the past or someone that I would like to have in my future.<br />
<br />
I wrote in my last blog about the birthday of the guy I met in the summer. I decided to write a short happy birthday on facebook, I wasn't sure if I would get a response and I haven't gotten one yet, but it's still middle of the day back in the good old U.S.A, even though I don't think I will hear from him.<br />
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I think about him from time to time, not too much, it would be nice to get to know him more, but that's life at the moment I guess and I’m sure that there will be more guys in the future.<br />
<br />
I think about a daily routine of having a BF, even though I don't really know what to expect or to think it's something that I look forward to, just like every normal person does I guess. It's weird that most of my thoughts focus on my vacation during the summer and the short time that I have there.<br />
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I feel that sometimes I don't really grasp the notion that once I will be out, and it will happen at some point, vacation will be just something different, maybe site seeing, maybe some partying and fun, but it won't be where my focus will be.<br />
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I mean, at that point I will have a normal life, I would be able to date all year long, go to parties, enjoy myself and just live my life, no need for a special vacation, off season or anything of the sorts.<br />
<br />
I do know that I really have no clue about relationships and anything of that matter and that I will have to find out on the go what's the things I want in a relationship and what the things I can handle are, and what things I can't.<br />
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I mean, on paper everything sounds good or bad, black or white, but until we or I in this case don't really experience it, I won't be able to tell. I feel this day is closing in on me and I know in my heart that it's all a matter of time.<br />
<br />
On the other hand I'm really happy with basketball now, I just got a glimpse of how much I love this game lately, I think I fell in love with it again. I feel great and I just want to play all the time, practice all the time, lift weights all the time, whatever is needed.<br />
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Every year that goes by I get older, just like every person on this planet, well except Benjamin Button, the thing is I feel no difference with my body, I feel great and in shape, so maybe that also means that there are a lot of basketball years ahead of me, I doubt if I would stay in the closet for all of them, so It might get interesting.<br />
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Sunday the N.B.A season starts, it will be a nice addition to my life and I know that it will also be nice for a lot of the players playing overseas that always enjoy the chance to watch some basketball from back home.<br />
<br />
Well, again merry Christmas and happy holidays to anyone celebrating any other holidays.<br />
<br />
All the best and will meet again before 2012 greets us.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-87093302672844870592011-12-16T09:18:00.001-08:002011-12-16T09:18:34.942-08:00Fans and TeammatesHey everyone,<br />
<br />
Hope all is well, for me things are pretty easy going, nothing special going on. I always wish something special will happen so I have more to write to you, but I guess it's not always the case.<br />
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In the last months I have been reading more gay websites, more articles, more video's for LGBT rights and so on, it gives me a better picture and insight to the things that happen in the world and in the community.<br />
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A lot of times I get a good feeling from reading about the LGBT youth and the things that they are able to do, like coming out, supporting others, trying to make a difference and helping out. Of course there is bullying and there are a lot of problems, especially with the gay youth, but they have courage that I don't think was around in the late 90's and early 2000's.<br />
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I think the internet has a lot to do with everything, giving kids more options to read, and learn about themselves and others, to meet teenagers like them and to be able to share some things with others, something that wasn't really around as much when I was growing up, even though it wasn't that long ago.<br />
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I don't really know how it is to live in that world; a world of a gay person that just goes on about his life has his straight friends and gay friends and just lives his life. I mean that's an environment that I don't know and never been a part of, my environment is basketball players, fans and people that work around basketball.<br />
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It's funny, I never feel a part of it, not just because the locker room chat is about women most of the time, what never really gives me an opportunity to join the conversation, both because I know nothing about it and have no interest to talk about it, but also because I feel that it's talks that are more suitable for 17 year olds and not people around my age, but they always say that pro athletes are just like little babies, so maybe they are mostly right.<br />
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I have been thinking lately about the reaction of fans, if they knew or if I were to come out, I wrote about this before, the fans overseas are more college fans than N.B.A ones. They go crazy in games, they curse, shout and have no boundaries, not all of them, but a lot of them.<br />
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I have been around a lot of teams and a lot of fans and while I know that most of the fans of teams I will play against will have a lot to say and I would have just to deal with it, I often wonder how the fans of my own team will react. I mean of course it depends how long I have played there and of course the relationship I have with them, but I don't really know what to think.<br />
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I'm sure that a lot will accept it, but also there are some that would have a harder time dealing with it, of course it's all up in the air and I can't really know for sure, but I need something to think about don't I?<br />
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Enjoy your weekend and don't forget to get presents for everyone, I don't mind if you want to send me a couple also....<br />
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P.S - the guy I met in the summer and really enjoyed myself with has a birthday this week, we haven't spoken since I got back, should I wish him a happy B-Day or just leave it, any suggestions??Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-21384079208629357672011-12-08T02:39:00.001-08:002011-12-08T02:40:09.977-08:00Jonah Mowry - YouTube ClipHey everyone,<br />
<br />
Hope everyone is doing well, anyone excited from the CBA in the N.B.A and the season starting soon? I have to admit I’m kind of happy, will get a chance to see a couple of former teammates and also it always helps falling asleep late at night when I’m tired.<br />
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Also have to admit that I'm happy cause Van Gundy will be back, he is with no doubt my favorite analyst regarding basketball and he always makes me laugh, so that's also kind of nice.<br />
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As for me, I’m doing well, nothing special, just been traveling a lot for games lately. Not always fun flying in and out of different countries or cities and sometimes it doesn't really matter where you are, because you basically play and go back home, but that's part of the job.<br />
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It also has its nice moments, a big win on the road, being together with teammates that are also friends a lot of the time, just being able to eat all day, LOL, can't always complain.<br />
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I guess all of you saw the clip of the boy Jonah Mowry and if you didn't then this is the link:<br />
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdkNn3Ei-Lg<br />
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It's very touching and sad and made me feel really bad. I have talked about if before, but I will say it again, I do have a soft spot for kids and it's hard for me to see someone suffer, especially on the count of being different, in this case gay.<br />
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I might relate more to this specific situation because I guess it was hard for me also growing up and in my first years of adulthood. Not because the way I was treated, but the way I treated myself in a sense, or the way I felt about myself.<br />
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Now this clip has had almost 7 million hits and it went viral very fast, I read the other day that he posted a different clip a couple of months after showing a different picture and now people are saying that the first video, the one I left the link to is fake.<br />
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His mom has stepped up to say that it's not and that it's really the way he felt , I don't know how many people are buying it and how many aren't, but I say : "WHO CARES".<br />
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I mean the kid deliverd a message of suffering and pain, a message that so many kids relate to and feel in their young and fragile life. There are so many kids being bullied or being hated for being gay or being different and Jonah delivered their message and their cry, it doesn't really matter in my eyes if it's real or not.<br />
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The suffering, the suicide and the heart breaking stories we read about everyday are real and are out there everywhere. Kids can be real cruel to other kids and a lot of the times don't have any boundaries, and just go all out to humiliate others and to make others feel bad because of their own insecurities.<br />
<br />
So if 7 million people saw this message the rest isn't relevant, the issue doesn't need to be whether the video is real or not, but whether anyone is doing anything to help young kids, kids in pain and in dark places in their life. It's so sad to hear more and more stories regarding this issue, I don't know what the solution is, even though a lot has to come from education in school and from understanding that being different doesn't make anyone better than you ,but just different.<br />
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You can simplify things and compare it to ice cream: some of us like Vanilla, some like Chocolate, some like Peanut better, there are all different tastes and there is a place for every flavor in the store, in our homes and in our hearts. Everyone just needs to focus on the flavor they like and let the others enjoy what they like, without thinking one is better than the other.<br />
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I hope that all the LGBT organizations out there can change the picture and help the acceptance of the whole LGBT issue through the country, even if it takes time. I just hope the picture will get brighter for those kids who are suffering through life, because no one, especially not kids deserve to suffer for something that they didn’t even chose.<br />
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Enjoy the weekend everyone!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-83264798680774395152011-11-30T15:56:00.001-08:002011-11-30T15:56:17.092-08:00Tebow Time?!?Hey everyone, <br />
<br />
First of all I just wanted to thank everyone that commented or emailed me after the last post, it was really great hearing from you and it really made me feel that just posting what's on my mind is sometimes enough and that there doesn't always have to be something special behind it.<br />
<br />
There was one comment that I wanted to respond to and that was the one made by Nick. First of all it's nice meeting you and the thing I wanted to say was that I didn't mean that the only need in a relationship is physical but just that it has to be there.<br />
<br />
Without the sexual attraction, it's not never going to be a relationship that is based on love and passion. It might become a friendship, but I can't believe it can lead to a partner or a BF. Of course if there is only the sexual attraction and no common hobbies and no deeper things to share it's not going to become anything special, but I just think that the attraction is step one.<br />
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I wanted to talk a little about Tebow, if anyone is following football, well since he has been playing the team is 5-1 I think and basically winning every week. First of all I hate the fact that they are winning and to be more specific, I hate the fact that he is winning.<br />
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I usually don't use words like that, but his whole attitude with the family values crap, that judges and tells people what's OK to do and what's not makes me sick. More than that and I think of this in a sense of all pro athletes and their "relationship" with god.<br />
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While I'm not a believer, I respect those who do believe, HOWEVER, I have a big problem with athletes in all sports bringing "god" on to the court/field. I always say that if there is a higher existence is he really worried about those things, is he really dealing with how much a player will score or hit? I mean it just feels so shallow and unworthy to me. <br />
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There are so many "bigger" issues that for me question the existence of god and questions that I don't have an answer for. So I refuse to think that god has anything to do with a sports results or that being a believer effects the way I shoot the ball.<br />
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To believe that this mighty power will bless his believers by helping them have a good game or direct them to the right path on the court/field? for me it's just too much to take.<br />
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I respect everyone's believes, but for me to pry for gods guidance and help in something that is just a game takes all the value out of the real belief that people have.<br />
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It might be harsh, but when I see a player pray after a touchdown or thank god after scoring a goal that just makes me angry in sense and makes me think that those same believers devalue their belief, even if I don't believe at all.<br />
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Thanks again for the emails and comments and for being a part of my life.<br />
<br />
Enjoy the weekend everyone!!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-69765728665807146202011-11-25T17:12:00.001-08:002011-11-25T17:13:35.882-08:00Is It Over?Hey everyone, hope you are enjoying thanksgiving and spending time with your families.<br />
<br />
On my daily checkup on Afterelton and Advocate I stumbled on a ad for marriage equality : <br />
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http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2011/11/25/Possibly_the_Most_Beautiful_Ad_for_Marriage_Equality_Weve_Seen/<br />
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I have to admit that it was touching and get me a little emotional in the end, underneath all the muscles and testosterone I have to admit that i'm a very emotional person and I don't need too much to get all excited and be on the verge of crying.<br />
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Of course it's obvious how the end will play out, at least when you know what website it's on, but it brings me again to think about all those people who have nothing better to do than hate others and condom the way others chose to live their life rather then focus on their own life.<br />
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I know it sounds too simple, but we can always hope that maybe something will change down the line, even though people will always continue on hating.<br />
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It's not really relevant, but have any of you thought about what happens after we die? I mean do we just end our visit on this planet and basically vanish for eternity, I mean that sounds like the truth and the logical explanation, at least in my book and my religious views, but I think we are all kind of hoping that there is something more to life and the afterlife, if anyone knows, let me know, LOL.<br />
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On my last post I wrote about the perfect BF, after thinking about it a little bit, I came to the conclusion that it might be what I hope for in my mind and in my thoughts, but I think it all comes to the sexual attraction in the end. I mean when I and I think most of us see someone we feel something for him or we don't, if we do, we can build on that and see what happens, but if we don't, well then I guess we can end up being friends at the most.<br />
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I have to be honest, I enjoy writing and I think about this blog a lot, but I don't have as much to go on as I used to, I mean, I don't do too much during the season besides play basketball and I pretty much share what comes into my mind when something interesting happens.<br />
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I can understand that there are less comments and the blog looks or feels a little on the verge of going under. This blog has brought me a lot of friends and a lot of inner peace, it might be time to call it a day. For now I'm still thinking about it and writing once a week. If I feel it's time to end things I will do it in a organized way, that's for sure, but in the meanwhile just want to thank everyone again, you and everything here changed a lot of things in my life.<br />
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Enjoy your weekend.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-62598550645671705142011-11-16T11:21:00.001-08:002011-11-16T11:21:08.066-08:00The Perfect BoyfriendHey everyone, hope all is well.<br />
<br />
As for me, Things are pretty much the same, working hard, and enjoying basketball, well at least most of the time. We started playing in all competitions a couple of weeks ago, so there are more games, more flights and more games that are in other countries, some better places and some places that i wouldn't go on vacation to, but then again, no one asked me.<br />
<br />
There seems to be a high percentage of no N.B.A season, at least not this year. Without going in to too much discussion and taking sides, it's pretty disappointing. I hear a lot of people talk about the N.B.A players decision to reject the last offer, I talked to a couple of teammates who have played more than a couple of years in the N.B.A, while some take a natural side, one of them just said that he can't understand the players and they are just making a "dumb" decision as he calls it.<br />
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He says that the owners did give them some better options in the last offer and that he can't understand how they can reject that and gamble on their whole season and on the law suit in court, a law suit that they might end up losing.<br />
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I read a couple of column on ESPN , and a lot of them go back to the point of relativity, that while most people have to get a second job to make ends meet, the players are fighting and calling the decision that can reduce some of the players salary from 5.4 million to 5.0 million something that they can't accept.<br />
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I feel like most of the public on the situation, I mean I know that the players are trying to take care of the future generations, but I think that a deal should have been done, especially with the economy being as it is, but then again, I’m just someone looking in from the outside.<br />
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It’s going to be disappointing not having a season, not having games in the middle of the night to watch and feel a sleep in front of and not being able to see former teammates playing for their respective teams, but I guess that's life.<br />
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It will defiantly mean that more N.B.A players will come over and play in Europe. some might land in my team and some might land in my league or in our Europe competition, so it might be nice from that point of view.<br />
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During one of our flights a couple of weeks ago I had the chance to sit back by myself and think a little, I don't know why or how, but I started thinking about what would my perfect BF be like, since I don't have one to share it with and I can't really talk to my teammates and roommate on trips about it, I thought I would share it here.<br />
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So here goes nothing, I think looks wise It's a given, my brother always laughs at me about this, but I’m a fool for blondes, always was and always will be. My perfect BF would be blonde, 6'1 - 6'2, boyish looks, athletic body; I always like a little muscle on a guy, but just on the light note, not a body builder or something. I wouldn't mind a six pack, I would love a cute smile along with that boyish face and body, as I have found out I'm not into hairy guys, I would want him to be a couple of years younger than me, that's as far as appearance wise, we are all a little shallow in the end, aren't we?<br />
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As for character, I dream about an easy going guy, someone who loves just spending time together without having to do something all the time, just walking around ,taking a trip, going to dinner or to a movie. Someone that loves cuddling and just being with me, whether I feel like doing something or just spending a day indoors.<br />
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A guy that loves dancing, cause I have to admit that I do love it, a guy that can go out with me and just enjoy the music and dancing together, someone that won't flirt with other guys while we are out. A guy that makes compromises, because I do a lot for the people I love, even if it's something I don't necessarily want to.<br />
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Of course like most of us, I would love a guy that has a stable job and a nice income, so we can both enjoy the possibilities of life and we would be able to afford the things we want. But as my brother always tells me and makes fun of me on the matter, I’m destined to fall in love with a guy who is flat out broke, someone like an artist, a musician or anyone who is just scraping by while trying to do the thing he loves the most. If that happens, I can just hope I will be in a situation that I could take care of both of us, or at least help him out as much as I can.<br />
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I would love a BF that loves kids, that wants kids and can't see life without them. I know I can't see my life without kids and I would want someone who would feel the same. I would be happy if he comes from a loving family that accepts him, just so he will have more support and feel better, I’m sure he will feel better around my family, that I have no doubt will accept and love anyone that I decide to love.<br />
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It’s weird to say it now, but when the time comes I would prefer someone who isn't in the closet, a lot of the time it was hard for me when guys told me that they had a problem being with someone that wasn't out and that was keeping a secret. It was hard for me to understand that back then, but now that I know that I will live my life out of the closet I can understand not wanting to have barriers holding you from being out and honest and just living a normal life.<br />
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It would be a great thing to have a serious BF before I retire, I mean, spending time together with someone while playing basketball, having someone to really share what I feel, the good days and the bad days and everything around it.<br />
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It's funny, while I’m sitting and writing all this down I understand that BF might not be the right word, that I’m basically just talking about the guy I would love to spend my life with, more like my husband, even if I hadn't thought about it too much or that I’m not sure in general that I would like to get married, but the principle is the same.<br />
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I get a great feeling just writing about this, it's something that I didn't think about or couldn't express till last year, I mean it was always on my mind, but I think putting it down on paper, or the web to be more accurate just means it's something I see naturally, at least I hope so.<br />
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I know that in life I don't get exactly what I want, but if I could go into a shop and make an order, I think that's more or less the order I would make. Last summer when I met the guy that pretty much changed a lot in me, even if it was only two weeks, he was pretty close in some of the areas I mentioned. Again, it's just the type I think I’m most attracted to, but I also accepted that something’s aren't what I would want, but I know that there are always compromises to be made. <br />
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In the end of the day the sentence that sounds unreal is true in a lot of cases: "looks won't last forever", but other things, such as character and kindness and being able to give and receive love can last forever.<br />
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Enjoy the weekend.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-84531990789783977192011-11-08T15:54:00.001-08:002011-11-08T15:54:39.417-08:00The Message Of Gay PornHey everyone, sorry for the delay, just been a busy last couple of weeks.<br />
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Basketball wise everything is good, we won the last couple of games so the mood is good. I'm getting my minutes and having fun out there and that's all that matters, at least for me.<br />
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I mean of course money matters, but I don't play basketball just for the paycheck, I play it for the love of the game and for the memories that it will give me when I’m gray and old and sitting with my family and talking about it.<br />
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I know some players would go to a place that they might not play as much for a bigger payday, but I don't believe in that, of course I’m not judging, everyone does what he thinks is best for him.<br />
<br />
Actually I wanted to write a little about gay porn. When I started understanding that I’m different and that I don't like girls, somewhere around 16-17 I started watching porn and masturbation in front of it, since I didn't see too many options besides that. <br />
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With time I have to admit that I stopped watching porn all together, not the websites with all the naked pictures and for sure not the websites with all the movies. Now it's not that I stopped liking guys or stopped enjoying a beautiful male body or even stopped masturbating.<br />
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I just don't believe in what porn in general says, straight or gay and luckily for me I have a head and I have an imagination I can still use to get those same pleasures that gay porn delivers.<br />
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I believe that porn, and I will talk about gay porn, since that's what I know more about, is not really sex or love making which is the meaning or the wish of most of us. I find it to be very violent and emotionless almost.<br />
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Now of course there might be websites or other things that might not fall under that category, but in general when I think about the porn I used to watch I just find it to be something rough that really shows guys/girls as objects and not people.<br />
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Again, in my eyes it's mostly violent and humiliating a lot of times. It's just my feelings on the subject and I don't want to think of sex or love making that way, it just gives me a feeling that the sex is about just banging someone and leaving your emotions at the door.<br />
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I know that it's the target of those websites and of course any one of us that is horny can easily enjoy it and everyone is entitled too.<br />
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I believe that a lot of the time someone who is gay faces a lot of problems about his self image, let’s be honest, society usually looks down at gay men and it doesn't help anyone’s self esteem, together with the online porn it can usually lead to a bad grasping of what sex is.<br />
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Straight guys can talk about it and hear about it much more, where gay men or grownups don't have a lot of places to go and ask, both cause they are scared and also cause they are shy. I believe they find the answers online and on porn sites and sadly I think they get the wrong message about what sex is and what sex means.<br />
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I have to admit that I also got that same wrong message when I was younger, luckily, at least that's the way I feel, I past that stage and I see sex in different eyes at this stage of my life.<br />
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I sometimes just feel bad that that's basically the only exposure that most young gay teenagers will have to the subject and they might pick up bad habits, not in the sense of being safe or not, but in the sense of grasping sex as something that might be humiliating towards one of the participants in it.<br />
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I know that a lot of you might think differently and I’m happy to hear anyone that has anything else to say or to add on the subject. I just believe that those websites might have a little or a lot to do with the way people look at sex and the meaning that it gives it.<br />
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In the end of the day making love is supposed to be something special, beautiful and important and it might be hard to reach that stage or to find that person that makes you think of sex as something important, but I just feel that porn sends the wrong message.<br />
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Have a good oneUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-36992352669191508812011-10-28T12:01:00.001-07:002011-10-28T12:01:36.328-07:00Just LivingHey everyone, hope you are enjoying your weekend.<br />
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It was a real good feeling to have my blog mentioned on the TrueHoop Blog one ESPN by Kevin Arnovitz who writes N.B.A and more for ESPN and also happens to be gay. He posted a link to my last post about coming out to a friend and it was a warm surprise to hear about it from one of the readers of my blog.<br />
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He posted a interview with Rick Welts, the former Phoenix Suns president who is now at the Golden State Warriors organization and came out last year and was the first Major sports executive to do so. If anyone wants to check it out, this is the link: <br />
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http://espn.go.com/blog/truehoop/index/_/count/16<br />
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As for me, I'm doing well, working hard and enjoying my job. It's funny, I enjoy working out in the weight room before practice and in general, I’m not one of those guys that sits in the weight room all day and look at themselves nor do I try to look like a bodybuilder.<br />
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However, it gives me a good feeling that I'm in shape and that my body looks good, my brother was joking with me that I’m a stereotypical gay that only cares about his looks and his muscles and it was funny.<br />
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There is always this conversation about how gay men tend to take better care of themselves and pay more attention to their body and their whole demeanor. I wonder if it's just another stereotypical thing that people throw out there or if there is any truth in that.<br />
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Of course for me it's also needed for basketball, so I have the perfect cover story :). I remember reading John Amaechi's book and on the back he wrote something about how all the N.B.A players spent a lot of time in front of the mirror after games, fixing their hair, earrings and so on, and that he was the gay one, so go figure.<br />
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Besides that, I’m in the same situation, not dating or meeting anyone online, just reading a lot of material on the gay fight for equality, the different projects intended to help youth and that sort of stuff, very interesting and very helpful for me to find out more.<br />
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It's been a little difficult lately for my friend who is H.I.V positive. I mentioned this before, but he has been going through a lot of things, and since I’m about the only person besides those who are involved in his treatment we are having a lot of Skype hours.<br />
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It's hard a lot of the time, he has a lot of things to talk about and to put out there and it's also hard for me. Which might sound not fair, but I have to always be able to say the right and positive thing and sometimes it's not very easy because sometimes he is just in a different place, but I have no intention of leaving him alone, so we will all do our best.<br />
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Last thing is the World Series, anyone out there that is a baseball fan had to enjoy last night’s game, it was just crazy, no other word. I was lucky that I only had evening practice, I could stay up all night, and it ended in the morning over here. It was very exciting, I was disappointed since I want Texas to win, but boy was it a great game. Hope game seven will bring us the same passion and excitement.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-1137869592529005202011-10-19T11:40:00.001-07:002011-10-19T11:40:57.955-07:00Spreading The WordHey everyone, hope all is well.<br />
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I'm doing well, we have just had a couple of league games and we started off on the right foot, always nice to start the season well and always nice to get the practice games out the door.<br />
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We are all following the N.B.A story and waiting to see what will happen. It would be weird to have players from our league leaving suddenly, but I guess it's something everyone knows can happen, will it? don't think anyone really knows.<br />
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As for me, had a nice conversation with a childhood friend, who is still a good friend of mine. I have known him since he was eleven and we have both played basketball since we have been kids.<br />
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Granted we don't live in the same country anymore, we still try to meet up in the summer and he is genuinely a good person with a good heart. I wanted to tell him this summer and I was about to just as we were walking together down the street, but at the last second I didn't.<br />
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Anyway, yesterday I decided it's about time to tell him, we didn't catch each other on Skype, so we just exchanged text messages, which was weird. I don't remember myself ever just written to someone, hey buddy, i'm gay.<br />
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In the end I just came out with it, hahah, I wrote a couple of messages in general then just wrote : " I'l just write it, even though it's weird to do so. I'm gay. don't really know what i'm supposed to write after this, but it was important for me to tell you".<br />
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I didn't have a doubt in my mind that he would be supportive, I think i'm at the stage that it's pretty clear to me that the people that really care about me love me for the person I am and not anything else.<br />
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He was amazing, asked a couple of questions and was just great, said that of course he loves me and cares about me and what I do in the bedroom is my business and would never influence our friendship.<br />
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We talked some more about the way it influences my basketball career and how I deal with it and it was just nice. I wasn't too nervous before and it didn't change my world, it's just nice to have one more friend that knows about it, it's as simple as that, at least for me.<br />
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I don't think I will go and start telling all my friends now, but he is someone that I wanted to share the news with. There is no one that I really feel I have to tell right now, I mean it might be nice, but the important people in my life already know, so will see what the future brings.<br />
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I read that tomorrow is spirit day, so don't forget to wear something purple, it's a nice thing to do to acknowledge the LGBT youth and our opinion on bullying, something I have spoken and read a lot of articles on lately.<br />
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If anyone here is a baseball fan then I hope you enjoy the world series, I'm rooting for Texas, but why wouldn't I, it's still the team that brought us George Bush and we need to be thankful for that :)<br />
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Enjoy the rest of the week everyone......Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607955612343993162.post-72823222135994336022011-10-13T10:33:00.001-07:002011-10-13T10:35:03.686-07:00100 Posts and Those RepublicansHey everyone, turns out today is my 100 post in this blog, like I said in the past, more than I thought I would ever get to, along with more followers than I expected.<br />
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I guess a lot has changed in those 100 posts, I have a lot of new email friends, I see myself in a different light and I feel different about myself, so i'm sure those are all advantages that will stay with me after I stop writing.<br />
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I do get the feeling that nothing is urgent anymore and that I rarely have something that I have to blog about or feel like is a matter of life or death, guess that's as normal as can be and might not be a healthy thing for my blog followers.<br />
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In the meanwhile I have used another email account I have to keep updated with advocate and websites of that nature. I find it hard to read about a lot of movements headed by republicans or just plain idiots that have the desire to repeal and reverse a lot of major decisions and actions that have happened and have increased our rights as a gay and minority group.<br />
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I'm sure that some of you reading this post have much more knowledge on the matter and could shed some more light on the subject, can any of the decisions/laws that have been changed be reversed again?<br />
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Could DADT, be enforced back into the army? could states that legalized gay marriage reverse that decision if the republicans take the congress seat in that specific state? It might sound like a very simple questions to most of you, but it interests me and I have to admit that I don't know enough on the subject.<br />
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Personally i'm not sure that I would get married and i'm not sure that i'm headed to the army yet, but it scares me that there is an option, if indeed there is, that things might change again in certain areas of the LGBT achievements as of lately.<br />
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In my day to day life, nothing exciting is happening in the moment, working hard, feeling good with myself and in full action as the season is here. We are all following the N.B.A situation and waiting to see what will happen. <br />
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I mentioned before that like most leagues in Europe we also have players in our league that have an N.B.A contract and will have to leave the second the strike is over, if indeed it will be over, it's interesting to see.<br />
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I also wrote about my friend that found out he his H.I.V positive, it's not been an easy time for him. I'm trying to help, but it's not easy all around, he's not very optimistic at the moment and it's my job to try to motivate him, which isn't always easy and I hate to say it, but sometimes is also hard on me.<br />
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It's funny that i'm already thinking about it, but I saw a great article about a city that I haven't visited yet and seems like a great place to enjoy my summer. So even though it's far far away, it's already on my mind, guess that's life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3