In Good And In Bad

Hey everyone, hope the new year is treating you well.

As for me, was a busy time, but now things are more relaxed so I have more time for my baby, this blog that is.

So, what about Tebow? this thing just doesn't want to end ah? I watched the whole game last Sunday, I was really surprised that the Steelers made it all the way back, but then they lost in the begining of OT. That was just too much for me, I hope that Brady gets the job done this weekend and will finally have some quite time and no more Tebow for a couple of months.

Besides that, well, I'm waiting for the summer, it's been like 6-7 months since I have gone out to a gay bar, party or whatever, let alone met a guy, so I have only five more months to wait, doesn't sounds that bad, does it? I know it does, but that's life, waiting for the summer, to go all crazy, go out, have fun, eat unhealthy, I think that his year I will take a longer vacation, about time.

I remember talking about this subject a long time ago, but I will put more emphasis on it this time. We all have our jobs and we all get paid for it, we go into work when we don't feel like and when we do, because it's our job and that's what ordinary people do, but in my profession, I feel a lot of times that people don't see it that way or think about it in that matter.

I mean, we have a lot of fans that come to games and expect us to preform well, no one knows what has happened before, how things are in the team, how people feel, who has had a bad couple of days and who hasn't. It's like we are a blank page when we come to games, we are just people that need to get things done no matter what.

I mean, I love basketball and it's my life, but it's hard to explain to people, and that's what i'm trying to do now. There are times when it's a nightmare, I mean it's fun to be a part of a team, to succeed, to be loved by the fans and to enjoy practices and meetings and trips and all of that.

There is no basketball player in the world that will tell you that when he is doing good it isn't a great feeling, even if the team is losing and things of that nature when you play good everything looks brighter. Sometimes you hide it because you don't want people to think you are only thinking about yourself which is true in most of the cases, but not the right thing to say image wise.

However there is the other side, the side when you don't play, you don't like your teammates, the fans aren't to great and the situation in general sucks, that's the problem. It happens to everyone, i'm happy to say that it has barely happened to me, but no one can escape it completely.

You come to practice and just wait to go home already, you count the minutes and the seconds, when the games come and you barely play it really hurts you inside, at least it hurts me, can't speak for others, and at that point no money can make me feel better.

I never go home and say, well at least I make good money so that's all that matters. I'm lucky to be doing the thing I love the most, so when that thing becomes cruel it's really hard to deal with, we can try to change it, but sometimes there are just seasons that everything goes in the wrong direction and it's a hard things to accept.

The thing that is the hardest for me is the way that that feeling carries on to my life. When things are good and i'm playing and playing well, everything is much brighter and happier and i'm feeling good and enjoying life more, but when things go opposite it becomes a battle just to find anything to hold onto and pass the days with. It sounds a little harsh and it's not, i'm just trying to explain the big difference that basketball can have on my life. I guess it's a gift, but sometimes it can also be a curse.

In the end of the day I feel lucky to do what I love and to get paid for it, it's just that people sometimes tend to forget that we, just like everyone else have our bad days and our bad periods and that it just happens, just like it happens in any job and to any person. I guess that when people pay for something they expect results and don't really care about anything else, surely not the person and his feelings, guess you can't blame them, can you?

Enjoy the weekend my friends.

Fans and Teammates

Hey everyone,

Hope all is well, for me things are pretty easy going, nothing special going on. I always wish something special will happen so I have more to write to you, but I guess it's not always the case.

In the last months I have been reading more gay websites, more articles, more video's for LGBT rights and so on, it gives me a better picture and insight to the things that happen in the world and in the community.

A lot of times I get a good feeling from reading about the LGBT youth and the things that they are able to do, like coming out, supporting others, trying to make a difference and helping out. Of course there is bullying and there are a lot of problems, especially with the gay youth, but they have courage that I don't think was around in the late 90's and early 2000's.

I think the internet has a lot to do with everything, giving kids more options to read, and learn about themselves and others, to meet teenagers like them and to be able to share some things with others, something that wasn't really around as much when I was growing up, even though it wasn't that long ago.

I don't really know how it is to live in that world; a world of a gay person that just goes on about his life has his straight friends and gay friends and just lives his life. I mean that's an environment that I don't know and never been a part of, my environment is basketball players, fans and people that work around basketball.

It's funny, I never feel a part of it, not just because the locker room chat is about women most of the time, what never really gives me an opportunity to join the conversation, both because I know nothing about it and have no interest to talk about it, but also because I feel that it's talks that are more suitable for 17 year olds and not people around my age, but they always say that pro athletes are just like little babies, so maybe they are mostly right.

I have been thinking lately about the reaction of fans, if they knew or if I were to come out, I wrote about this before, the fans overseas are more college fans than N.B.A ones. They go crazy in games, they curse, shout and have no boundaries, not all of them, but a lot of them.

I have been around a lot of teams and a lot of fans and while I know that most of the fans of teams I will play against will have a lot to say and I would have just to deal with it, I often wonder how the fans of my own team will react. I mean of course it depends how long I have played there and of course the relationship I have with them, but I don't really know what to think.

I'm sure that a lot will accept it, but also there are some that would have a harder time dealing with it, of course it's all up in the air and I can't really know for sure, but I need something to think about don't I?

Enjoy your weekend and don't forget to get presents for everyone, I don't mind if you want to send me a couple also....

P.S - the guy I met in the summer and really enjoyed myself with has a birthday this week, we haven't spoken since I got back, should I wish him a happy B-Day or just leave it, any suggestions??