2012

Hey everyone, been a long time since we last spoke, all the way back to 2011 I’m guessing. I'm sure I impressed you with my sense of humor.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed last night, whether it was with their love ones, or partying or just hanging out with some friends. As for me, I was at home, didn't feel like going out and don't really enjoy the company of too many people lately. I mean, I just rather not fake everything then go out and be with people that I don't have too much in common with, or don't really interest me.

I'm not trying to say that I only care about guys ore sex or things of that nature, it's just that I’m tired of the girl talk and all those things that are really the last thing that I want to hear about. I have to admit that this last week was a lonely one, I mean, I’m usually lonely, but in the last couple of days I felt it stronger than usual, it's just a bad feeling all around, I try to remind myself that this is the situation right now and there is nothing I can really do about it.

So OK, we moved on to 2012, what does the future hold for us? Well, down the line we have the elections. I have to admit that I really hope Obama will win again, just because he has done a lot for the LGBT community. While on the other side sit a bunch of morons, at least that's how they sound to me, and talk about trying to preserve the natural family, all that bullshit that them and Tim Tebow spend their time wasting on, instead of actually trying to do anything useful.

As for me, I was actually thinking about bringing up the subject of how the game you have week in and week out effects your mood, or in this case my mood, and just that we all forget that it's a game and It becomes pretty much a matter of life and death, but I will save that for next time.

I usually don't make lists or think too much about what each year will bring and what will change in my life. This year I didn't write anything either, but I had a different feeling this year, can't really explain it. It's not really related, but Saturday I decided to really clean my house and make it ready for 2012, I mean, I just went at it, so at least the house looks all nice and pretty for the New Year.

As for myself, like I said, I don't know what the future will bring, but I'm certain or almost certain that I had enough of being alone. I don't mean that I’m going to come out tomorrow and tell everyone that I’m gay, BUT I think I need to find a way to live my life, maybe without telling every person on this planet, but maybe just try to go out and find the balance.

I'm guessing that if people in the country I played here knew, it would make some kind of headlines, on the other hand, I’m not sure that journalists and websites will look to out someone who doesn't want to be. I haven't played this out in my mind too much, but I have played with and against a couple of players that I knew we’re gay and so did the media, but no one wrote about it or mentioned it in anyway, but again, it's just things that are running through my mind.

I just know that the last couple of days that I felt alone to the point that it just hurt was enough for me. It might take time and might not be next week or even in the next 9-10 months, but I know next year come December 31, 2012 I’m going to be either with my BF at home or going out on a date with someone, somewhere, at least I strongly believe in it.

For the rest of you, I just want to wish everyone a great new year. That you enjoy it, find happiness, love and joy. I just truly hope that everyone can go to sleep with a smile on their face for the majority of this year and the rest of their life. I know it sounds catchy and even border line naive, but I do believe that in the end of the day that's one of the greatest things in life, the possibility to lay back in bed and look on the day we had or a couple of hours that we spent with someone special and just smile about it and embrace it.

Before I say goodbye for tonight, I want to share a clip with you, I’m not sure how many of you saw it, but for those who didn't I recommend you do so. This is a clip of a young boy who passed away last week. He made this clip a week before his death; this reminds me that we should be thankful for waking up in the morning and just being alive. I know we never think of it or appreciate it, but sometimes a clip like this can remind all of us how lucky we are. I might not agree with the end of the clip, but I accept that everyone has his beliefs and is entitled to them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35O3E3T3GKQ&feature=share

So again, Happy new year and all the best to all of you, my friends, where ever you are reading this from.

Here We Go Again

Hey to all my friends out there, before we talk about 2010 and the future that has yet to come, I just noticed that soon enough I will
be celebrating my own birthday, in around ten days this blog will be a year old. I didn't think it would last so long, but little did I know.
I will have more on that once the birthday is around the corner, you are all invited to the party.

Well, this last year has been a significant one to the gay community, with the latest news, the repeal of DADT that was for sure the event of the year.

Through the courts decision to decide against proposition 8, through small local events that happened all year long, along with President Obama true intent to help the gay community and their rights.

It really is a step in the right direction, I know and all of you know that there is still a lot more to do, but just the news and the fact that there is will to do things and change things puts a smile on my face. I hope the next move will be allowing gay couples to marry all over the country, well we have a whole year for that, don't we ?

I must say that even though I'm gay, I usually didn't spend to much time following those events and the events and the struggles of the gay community, thanks to this blog I meet some friends who helped me be more informed and helped me be on top of things, and for that I'm grateful.

I have been going through a process in the last years of my life, a process of accepting myself and living in peace with myself, even though I'm gay. I always admit that I'm not all the way there yet, but I'm a much better person and have a much better feeling about myself than I used to have.

I'm not someone who believes that every person that says something offensive towards the gay community should be stoned and hung. I don't think that every issue needs to be fought and every subject brought up to discussion, cause in someways we also want to be looked at as normal and part of the human race.

Gladly enough there were a lot of good fights that the gay community took part in this year and for this I'm glad, like I said, I won't be in the first line of the protests and I won't be carrying signs, but I will always be hoping.

In my heart I always carry with me the thought of young girls or boys, that there only sin in life is being gay. I always hope that the world will be a little brighter for them, a little better, a little more tolerant, I just want them to experience love and to feel good with themselves. I want them to be able to live life to the fullest, whether they live in the USA, Europe, Or god knows where.

I guess what I'm saying is that I just want them to feel they way that I didn't when I was growing up. The way a lot of other guys my age and older than me didn't feel when they were young. I know that we have ways to go, but that Innocent boy or that innocent girl deserve to be just like everyone else, to be young and happy just like any normal kid.

I know that being gay is different, I know it's not like everyone else, and in someway it's not the norm, but no one said that being different is wrong, that being different is not OK, that being different should get you punished in life.

I know the statistics of young girls and boys commuting suicide because of their sexual preferences and it breaks my heart, to read that More than 1/3 of LGB youth report having made a suicide attempts leaves me speechless.

There are so many ignorant people out there, that bully others and try to take their frustrations on others that sometimes its just too much to handle. I know I cant do much and that hurts me, I'm writing this and my whole body is shivering, sadly enough we live in a world that isn't far and that's the harsh reality.

I really wish there was something that I could do and I do think about it. Maybe if I do come out and even one kid that will understand that being gay doesn't mean you can't succeed in life and can't make your dreams come true it would be worth it, but for now It's just too much to lose.

It's disappointing to say, but there isn't been any change in the team sports area, I mean, no new gay comers or no stories that are pointing to a new direction, but that's life and I will deal with it as we move on.

Anyway, it's still a new year and we don't want to get all depressed. So I really wish everyone a happy new year, I hope 2011 will be great for all of you.
I hope that everyone will be happy in his personal life, that the gay community will continue to achieve new and great things for all of us. I hope that we will all meet here next year, happy and content with our own lives.

Just before I finish, I really ask from all of you to appreciate the good things in life, we are all ambitious and want more, but we can't forget what we have right now. Tell all those close to you that they are important to you and that you appreciate their presence in your life. For all of us who haven't found that yet, I hope 2011 will bring news in this department also.

I know that most of the readers don't comment on my posts and just read, but I would be happy if we could just wish each other a happy new year, I will be the first to give it a go, and I hope that you will follow me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR....