My Locker Room

Hey everyone, hope all is well.

Is everyone excited like me for the start of the MLB today? I'm taking a wild guess that the answer will be no.

In any case, I just witnessed something in our locker room around two-three weeks ago and I thought it was right to share it with everyone.

One of our teammates started talking about gay guys, after they mentioned that one of the NBA stars has to be go, because he runs like one and for that reason also there is no chance that his team will win a championship.

The conversation just got worse all the time, from talking about the fact that two guys kissing is disgusting, to just bad mouthing anything that has to do with being gay.

Later they moved to talking about what would happen if they had gay kids and how they would react. Some tried to explain that they won't not treat or love their kids any less, but at the same time said that they wouldn't allow their son and bf to come in to their house, which is a little like condoning your son for what he is, isn't it?

Some tried to explain that they wouldn't be able to love their kids the same if they were gay, almost everyone agreed that they wouldn't let their kid and bf kiss in their presence, while most said they won't allow them to come together to their house.

Others said that they would go to their son's house and meet his bf also. They also talked about how if they found out a friend of them was gay it would change everything, even if it would be a long time friend.

There was one or two players that tried to send just a little different, not too much, but they were a little more accepting and much less homophobic.
No need to say that I didn't take part in that conversion.

There was no need to raise suspicion and I also have no doubt that what they say and think is so off from what I feel and that there is no way I would change their mind, so better off just leaving like nothing happened.

I cant say that I felt great after all that talk, usually those things don't bother me too much, but that time it was a little different. Again, it doesn't make me change any thoughts or feelings that I had.

I'm not the least worried about those specific people/players, cause I have no doubt that besides one player there is no chance I would stay friends with any of my teammates after my career.

Just to make it clear, not because they are homophobic or not, but because I don't feel that I share too many things with them anyway, just a common goal of succeeding on the floor and bringing our team as much success as possible.

On another note, I'm waiting for the final four that is just around the corner, don't know about you, but i'm a Butler fan this weekend.

Handling The Pressure

Hey Everyone.

Hope all is well with everyone and you are enjoying the winter where ever you are, After seeing a part of the all star game in the weekend I got my idea for my next blog.

A all star game is in same ways a dream of a pro player, not in the sense that you get picked to play in it because that's a given, but in the sense that you don't fell almost any pressure.

There aren't too many things on the line in a game like that, you go out and get the chance to have fun and not worry too much what happens, and if you win or lose.

In the years I have been around I have seen many players manage their pressure in different ways, I can only speak for myself but I feel pressure and nervous every game.

In a way I think that it always reminds me that I care about what I do, about my team and about the game.At the same time I have to admit that there are and were times where the pressure is almost too much.

I don't mean that I can't play or can't handle it, but just that during times of pressure thoughts that I don't really want pop up to my head,even though it happens during the days before the game.

I have had those thoughts of a injury, not even faking one, but hoping to get injured and cheering from the sidelines.If that happens no one could blame me, and everyone will remember the big contribution that I gave the team.

That way I could come to the game clean and quite, not been nervous, not waiting for the jump ball and not worrying how I will play, but just sit down and see others running up and down.

I'm sure that if you sit with a lot of players in a open and real conversation a lot of them will tell you about the struggles that they had at some point of their playing career.

I know that no one can see the pressure one me, or no one thinks that I'm nervous before a game or that I have those thoughts, cause I keep cool and can "act" the part.

I try to show everyone that I'm doing fine and feeling fine, so I can just think that a lot of different players have those kinds of thoughts. When I just started playing pro, it was harder, I was much more nervous, but with the experience I'm getting I feel less nervous then I used to.

I think that a lot of times when we see a player performing we can't be sure if the reason for a bad performance is pressure or not. Sometimes players look like they don't really care and they are just there to get it over with.

It's something that drives fans crazy, but I guess that the pressure can make your freeze on the court,field or what ever you are a part of and make you look nonchalant.

There are cases when you see players try so hard, that it becomes over trying.I think that's also because they feel pressure to be great, to be the number one talent and so on.

I think that in my case the pressure is first of all because of what I expect from myself, and my need to play good and succeed every game.

Again, just like many pro's, but maybe worrying about not playing well, or thinking that I won't play well is what gets me nervous. I can't really put a finger on it, and also I don't talk about it with other players, so I don't know what they really fell.

If I try to connect it with been gay, it might have something to do with it. Maybe wanting to be better or to prove myself more to "fit in". it's just something I threw up to the air, since it's not something I can really point to as I said before.

I can honestly say that luckily I'm almost never injured and even if I do get injured I almost do anything possible to play. So I can only guess that what I sometimes think just stays as something on my mind and not something that really happens.

When it comes down to it, when I'm on the court I usually feel on top of the world, there is nothing greater than been on the court in the money time.

When the game is close and everything is on the line, the pressure is out there and I can feel it,but in those moments I wouldn't change it for anything and been injured or sitting out just sounds crazy to me.