Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Gay Porn

I think the title speaks for itself, I will add that my thoughts are mostly concerning gay porn.This my come to you as a shock, but
I usually don't watch straight porn. I know it's harsh to hear, but sometimes I have to be honest about things, LOL.

Since I don't meet guys right and left and during the year I'm usually alone, I, like most of the people I know watch porn from time to time.
Without going into details about my favorite websites and actors, JK.

I have some thoughts about the porn itself, I know that there are all kind of gay and straight porn, that fits to the likings of each person and each one's own thoughts.

However, at least in my opinion, that porn sometimes leads man or teenagers to get the wrong idea about sex. In most porn videos that involve anal sex, I can't call it love making, it comes off more as a violent act.

A lot of times the guy who is on top just looks like he is trying to "hurt" his partner. I know it's different with each person, but I don't think those videos show anything about the real "potential" of sex. Not the real enjoyment that two people can have while translating the feelings and the desire they have for one another into actions.

To be honest, even if I watch porn, I never watch the anal part, not because I like it or not, but because it just gives me a feeling of something violent and not something joyful, as I said before.

Unfortunately, in my opinion at least, it's a bigger problem in the gay community, because in our community most kids and teenagers grow up alone, feeling different. In the younger stages and usually don't share their feelings and preferences with other people.

A thing that leads to them settling for watching porn online, without having anyone to talk to, without having the "authorization" to talk about sex and to learn about sex, like the same kids in their age who happen to be straight.

I think that's what a lot of times gives gay man the wrong idea and the wrong thoughts about gay sex, the only way they see it happen is through those same videos that most of the time just educates them wrong and gives them the wrong notion about sex.

I mentioned a couple of times in my blog that I'm also homophobic and it's something that I'm dealing with and feeling better about all the time, but I think that's also a problem I had.

I grew up alone without no one knowing and the idea of sex was what I saw online. It's probably also the reason that I had problems seeing sex as it should be seen, because all I saw was basically one guy hurting the guy he is having sex with, by just using him as an object.

I didn't see any warmth or any smiles from both of the guys, at least most of the time, but just pictures of pain. Again, I know nothing is as simple, but growing up I didn't have the same possibilities and the same options of reading, hearing, and going out and maybe getting a better idea of what sex is all about.

I believe that there are a lot more just like me out there, who grew up in the same situation and got the same wrong idea about sex. Today, that's the reason I don't watch any anal sex online, I know it doesn't reflect on the way I would want things to be and the way I would like to think about sex.

When we gay men think of sex the way it's shown a lot of times it's easy to reflect about it as something humiliating and not something special, and from there it's very easy to develop our homophobic side, because most of us, or at least me, can't have any positives thoughts about sex with the videos that there are out there.

I always mention that on this topics I know everyone has his own opinion and ideas, and some may think about it differently, and of course each one's opinion is legitimate, this just happens to be mine.

Enjoy the rest of the week...

5 comments:

  1. I'm in agreement--don't like the abuse at all. I'm into "love making" not "f()$&ing". There are plenty of vids out there depicting non-abusive sex. One of my favs is Scott Alexander; the guy knows "love making" in front of a camera. Google "gayheaven" and "Scott Alexander" for links to many of his vids.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Interesting post. I watched a lot of straight porn before I discovered there even was gay porn. And then on my path I watched a lot of that...I watched a lot of porn instead of actually having sex because I was so closeted, I wasn't even admitting to myself I was gay. I probably needed a few psychologists to unwind all that stuff. But I kind of liked the oral scenes anyway. Every now and then you'd see some good stuff but I dealt in the underground world of hookups and such to keep my secret...it all has repercussions I suppose vs. "healthy" sexuality. Whatever that is.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I will second vah4bm. Scott Alexander is a fave of mine as well for actually kissing and smiling. What a concept!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like this post. My partner would love it! I grew up watching porn and he didn't. I've been weening off of it, and I completely agree that love making and porn are 2 completely different things. Porn to me is a quick outlet, while after being with my partner I often find myself day dreaming about our times together like they were made in a romance novel. There really is no comparison.

    Just my 2 cents.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I totally agree with you... For me, anal sex in gay porn is kinda too much... the one who receives the gift is obviously just acting to be pleasured, but the truth is, the pain is unbearable... I have never engaged in anal sex even if my partner wants me to f*ck him since I have lots of respect for him.. There are more ways to show your love

    ReplyDelete