Friday, December 31, 2010

Here We Go Again

Hey to all my friends out there, before we talk about 2010 and the future that has yet to come, I just noticed that soon enough I will
be celebrating my own birthday, in around ten days this blog will be a year old. I didn't think it would last so long, but little did I know.
I will have more on that once the birthday is around the corner, you are all invited to the party.

Well, this last year has been a significant one to the gay community, with the latest news, the repeal of DADT that was for sure the event of the year.

Through the courts decision to decide against proposition 8, through small local events that happened all year long, along with President Obama true intent to help the gay community and their rights.

It really is a step in the right direction, I know and all of you know that there is still a lot more to do, but just the news and the fact that there is will to do things and change things puts a smile on my face. I hope the next move will be allowing gay couples to marry all over the country, well we have a whole year for that, don't we ?

I must say that even though I'm gay, I usually didn't spend to much time following those events and the events and the struggles of the gay community, thanks to this blog I meet some friends who helped me be more informed and helped me be on top of things, and for that I'm grateful.

I have been going through a process in the last years of my life, a process of accepting myself and living in peace with myself, even though I'm gay. I always admit that I'm not all the way there yet, but I'm a much better person and have a much better feeling about myself than I used to have.

I'm not someone who believes that every person that says something offensive towards the gay community should be stoned and hung. I don't think that every issue needs to be fought and every subject brought up to discussion, cause in someways we also want to be looked at as normal and part of the human race.

Gladly enough there were a lot of good fights that the gay community took part in this year and for this I'm glad, like I said, I won't be in the first line of the protests and I won't be carrying signs, but I will always be hoping.

In my heart I always carry with me the thought of young girls or boys, that there only sin in life is being gay. I always hope that the world will be a little brighter for them, a little better, a little more tolerant, I just want them to experience love and to feel good with themselves. I want them to be able to live life to the fullest, whether they live in the USA, Europe, Or god knows where.

I guess what I'm saying is that I just want them to feel they way that I didn't when I was growing up. The way a lot of other guys my age and older than me didn't feel when they were young. I know that we have ways to go, but that Innocent boy or that innocent girl deserve to be just like everyone else, to be young and happy just like any normal kid.

I know that being gay is different, I know it's not like everyone else, and in someway it's not the norm, but no one said that being different is wrong, that being different is not OK, that being different should get you punished in life.

I know the statistics of young girls and boys commuting suicide because of their sexual preferences and it breaks my heart, to read that More than 1/3 of LGB youth report having made a suicide attempts leaves me speechless.

There are so many ignorant people out there, that bully others and try to take their frustrations on others that sometimes its just too much to handle. I know I cant do much and that hurts me, I'm writing this and my whole body is shivering, sadly enough we live in a world that isn't far and that's the harsh reality.

I really wish there was something that I could do and I do think about it. Maybe if I do come out and even one kid that will understand that being gay doesn't mean you can't succeed in life and can't make your dreams come true it would be worth it, but for now It's just too much to lose.

It's disappointing to say, but there isn't been any change in the team sports area, I mean, no new gay comers or no stories that are pointing to a new direction, but that's life and I will deal with it as we move on.

Anyway, it's still a new year and we don't want to get all depressed. So I really wish everyone a happy new year, I hope 2011 will be great for all of you.
I hope that everyone will be happy in his personal life, that the gay community will continue to achieve new and great things for all of us. I hope that we will all meet here next year, happy and content with our own lives.

Just before I finish, I really ask from all of you to appreciate the good things in life, we are all ambitious and want more, but we can't forget what we have right now. Tell all those close to you that they are important to you and that you appreciate their presence in your life. For all of us who haven't found that yet, I hope 2011 will bring news in this department also.

I know that most of the readers don't comment on my posts and just read, but I would be happy if we could just wish each other a happy new year, I will be the first to give it a go, and I hope that you will follow me.


Friday, December 24, 2010

A Very Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone, I would sing you a couple of songs, but I don't want to ruin your holiday. I hope everyone is with his love ones, enjoying some good food and good quality time with the people you care about.

A time like this is maybe just the perfect time to talk about the great achievement of the gay community this week. Of course I'm talking about the repeal of DADT.

It was great news, and something that should have happened a long time ago.

I have a friend that emailed me all through this time and helped me stay in the picture and be on top of things, so I was more excited to hear the news. I read articles from all over the world, in some way it's saddening that it took so long to happen, but like they say, better late than never. President Obama kept his promise and indeed repealed DADT.

My first question was should I enlist now? Since I know the marines are looking for a few good men, but a friend told me that they will find enough soldiers without me helping out. lol.

I wrote about this a couple of months ago, I truly believe that a person that wants to serve his country should be able to do so no matter what, Gay, Black or White.

I also read the big survey that was taken in order to evaluate the willingness of service men to serve along gay men, of course I was happy to see that most guys didn't make a big deal out of it.

On the other hand, it was also naive, even though gay people that were out couldn't join the army, there are so many gay men that aren't out and are in the service, just like everywhere in life. They say that one out of every ten man is gay, so where the hell is everyone? The answer is simple; they are just out there, being a part of the normal world.

Some of them don't want to come out, some rather live a lie and have a straight family, but they are there and they always were. In the army, in sports, in politics, in business.

What just brings me to the point that everyone has served with gay men and everyone knows someone who is gay, even if they don't know for a fact, and I'm sure once they get to now a person and get along with them, they will trust him with their life, even if they find out that he is gay.

I also laughed when I read on the survey about soldiers who are worried that they might have to shower along gay guys. That just shows homophobia in its best and it shows that they also have questions about themselves.

They might worry that something will start "waking up" when they see another guy naked, I can promise them no one will jump them in the shower.

I know that today's post was a little more formal, but I think that this is a real big thing, a real exciting thing and something that people fought for since we all remember ourselves.

It's just another step in accepting that a gay person is entitled to do everything a straight person can do, even serve in the army and be "the best they can be".

I will close this post with a personal story: In one of my vacations, I got the chance to meet a cute guy overseas; he turned out to be American. He also turned out to be a smart, genuine person.

We got to talk a lot and met around three times, when we were talking he told me his dream was to be a pilot and serve in the air force, but he also told me that he couldn't because he was out and wouldn't be recruited because of it.

He went on to tell me that he hopes so deeply and so badly that DADT will be repealed and that he could join the army. Needless to say that we haven't kept in touch, but he was the first one that i was thinking of as I heard the news, I was so happy for him. Happy for someone that can fulfill his dream and the fact that he likes guy's doesn't need to affect his life in any way.

I believe in the sentence that good things happen to good people. SO this post goes out to him, he will never read it and never know about it, but that doesn't change anything in my book.

Next station on our path is DOMA, and then the world, JK...

Merry Christmas to you all my dear friends, don't forget to enjoy the gift of love, along with your partners, May they be gay or straight, black or white. Remember to give them a big kiss on behalf of us who are still waiting to meet the right one.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Follow Up Post


Woke up to see 2 comments, interesting once that I wanted to reply.

First to Jordan, I'm not sure where you are from, but I'm sure there are better places, just by the "sound" of your comment. I got the feeling that the town you are in is not one of the best known for their gay scene.

I don't want it to come around like everywhere I go is just amazing and every gay party has an amazing crowd or special people. There are all kinds of guys and each one likes different guys.

You will always find a lot of feminine guys in the partying scene, they are more outgoing usually and feel they can do what ever they want, and feel like that on the dance floor( which is great). There are also more manly guys and more muscular types, some with too much muscles, at least in my opinion.

Usually you can find a couple of guys that are right up your ally, and some guys who aren't exactly your dream date, but I guess nothing is perfect.

As for the Average Gay Dude, I wanted to email you with an answer, but I don't have your email, so that didn't work out. About experiencing something different.

I guess it comes with time and with a feeling of readiness, even though going to a gay place for the first time is terrifying, it's just something that you have to go through for the first couple of times.

When I went out for the first time, and I wrote about it in my blog, I would get so nervous it was unbelievable, more than any basketball game I ever played, more than anything I ever experienced.

But now, after I have had some experience I just go in there, with a heart bit that is just a little faster, but nothing serious. I'm sure that being around more than two gay guys at a time will take some getting used to.

I have been going out by myself 90% of the times I have gone out, sometimes there were creeps and weirdos that can hassle you a little bit, but you also learn how to avoid them, or just cut things short. basically what I wanted to say is that when you will reach the stage of going out, give yourself a little working room and put your brave hat on and just do it :) .

Last thing I wanted to say is that in the beginning, when I used to go out, I measured my evening on the scale of : getting hit on, getting a yes answer from other guys or finding a guy to end the night with.

As I continued to go out I became wiser, I promised myself to hit on at least two guys that I like each night, doesn't matter if I get a yes or a no, I also promised myself not to be as nice as I usually am, It might sound nasty.

I decided that if i don't like someone who approaches me I can just move on, I don't need to be nice to the whole world. Last but not least, I promised myself to dance, to drink, to enjoy myself and that's the bottom line.

Not every crowd was amazing, not everywhere did I see guys I liked, but almost everywhere I decided to enjoy myself and oddly enough, it only takes one to make that happen...

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Party Time

Hey, Sorry it's been a while, busy times. But it's always fun to see that more people are following my blog.

I feel like I'm writing a number of articles about the gay way, following the last couple of posts, so today I think will be the last part of that, at least for now. I was thinking a little about clubs, Bars, well basically parties.

Again, I haven't been to too many straight parties so I don’t know enough on the subject from that point of view. However, I got my yearly couple weeks of partying. Not enough if you ask me, but what can I do?.

Anyway, I always get the feeling that a party is the place to let it all go wild, I'm sure in that in straight crowds the party is also wild, but somehow I get a different vibe in gay parties.

The crowd in the gay party, at least from what I have seen is made up of those who are out and just come to have fun and live there life, and those who are closeted or just out to some friends and come to have fun in a place no one will know them and they can be themselves.

It reminds me of me, lol, but yeah, for me I'm part of that crowd, a crowd which I think is a smaller part in the clubs.Take all those guys and all the people there and what do you get? Shirtless guys, lots of drinks, dancing and partying.

I must admit that like anyone else in my situation, I also find myself much more open to letting loose and behaving like a different person. I think what I'm trying to say is that during the parties and clubs, guys just do whatever they feel like, especially gay guys, it brings me to the same point and mindset, "if we are out and different, we can do whatever we want".

I'm not writing about it to say it's good or bad, but yet just different. I see the guys who make out and sometimes take it to another level on the dance floor. I might just be mistaken and maybe it's just like this everywhere. It's just a feeling I got and an impression I received from the parties I have been to.

That everything is more out there, easier to get, no restrictions and anything goes. I say, as long as everyone is up for it, why not. Sometimes being gay might let a person put aside the expectation of others, and just "do his thing".

Again, I'm talking about parties, clubs and so on, I know, and I know that obviously in the day to day life it’s a different story and much harder.

It’s a good thing that we have a place to go and just be ourselves and put aside what we should do in accordance to what society wants as to do.

All this talking about parties and clubs really makes me feel like a party and just going crazy on the dance floor, having 1,2 or 10 drinks and just have fun, lol.

When I go out I also do things I never that I would, again, nothing drastic, but making out with a guy, dancing with a guy, it's just crazy, good crazy. There were a lot of years I never thought it’s a possibility or I never thought it could happen, and it is happening, not enough, but enough to leave me with memories all year long.

I enjoy that part more than anything, the intimacy while still around others, dancing like crazy together with a guy I like, I don't know him enough to love him yet, but just enough to like him, to get a good vibe with him, to trust him and to just have crazy and simple fun.

Nothing is needed, no great restaurants, not fancy cars, not first class trips, but just that feeling of losing myself alongside somebody else while dancing to lady gaga (talk about hidden advertising) or whatever is on.

It's cheap ( unless you get wasted) but much more expensive than any pay check that I would or will get. I would be happy to hear any other opinions and though about the gay scene and the party scene

Enjoy your weekend and just go party, have fun and enjoy the chances you have to just be yourself.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Lebron's Visit

Just wanted to add a short post about Lebron's game in Cleveland last night. I was ready to go yesterday and was wondering how the fans will behave and what the reaction will be.

No one can say whether Lebrons decision is going to bring him a title and what the results will be, but everyone can say that the way he made his decision was terrible.

Basically he humiliated the whole city and organization of Cleveland on national TV. I personally thought that the decision was bad, but the way he carried out was just horrendous,And even Lebron admits to it now.

The fans and the whole city was furious, I loved the Lebron toilet paper, the bring a Lebron jersey get a free bear and many more nice ideas that I won't repeat now.

so of course i was sitting at home and waiting for the game, well, fuck the game. Was waiting for the fans to react to Lebron stepping on the court. When he did his thing before the game the crowd was booing him with all they had, and also in the beginning when he got the ball.

afterwards things slowly calmed down and Lebron had a great game, even more than great, he was outstanding, being a big part of the Heat just killing the Cavs, and so his part came to an end and he could leave smiling.

However, while Lebron kept the deal from his side, came in and gave a show, I was very disappointed from the other side. I expected so much more from the Cavs fans, after all the shit they felt they were given, I was going for much more than a loud boo and some signs..

I don't mean anything violent or out of order, BUT, I thought it would be different. Much crazier, much more creative, much more memorable, but I was wrong. I guess our American mentality can only bring us so far, just the same us the usual crowds in a normal game.

The same situation overseas would just be so different and much more intense, it's hard to explain. The fans would just go crazy and it would be a long night for that same player, from songs, to cursing, to many more things, but I guess each place and his traditions..

For now we will stay with our mentality, you can hate it or love it, but that's the reality of things.

Enjoy the weekend...