Thursday, March 31, 2011

My Locker Room

Hey everyone, hope all is well.

Is everyone excited like me for the start of the MLB today? I'm taking a wild guess that the answer will be no.

In any case, I just witnessed something in our locker room around two-three weeks ago and I thought it was right to share it with everyone.

One of our teammates started talking about gay guys, after they mentioned that one of the NBA stars has to be go, because he runs like one and for that reason also there is no chance that his team will win a championship.

The conversation just got worse all the time, from talking about the fact that two guys kissing is disgusting, to just bad mouthing anything that has to do with being gay.

Later they moved to talking about what would happen if they had gay kids and how they would react. Some tried to explain that they won't not treat or love their kids any less, but at the same time said that they wouldn't allow their son and bf to come in to their house, which is a little like condoning your son for what he is, isn't it?

Some tried to explain that they wouldn't be able to love their kids the same if they were gay, almost everyone agreed that they wouldn't let their kid and bf kiss in their presence, while most said they won't allow them to come together to their house.

Others said that they would go to their son's house and meet his bf also. They also talked about how if they found out a friend of them was gay it would change everything, even if it would be a long time friend.

There was one or two players that tried to send just a little different, not too much, but they were a little more accepting and much less homophobic.
No need to say that I didn't take part in that conversion.

There was no need to raise suspicion and I also have no doubt that what they say and think is so off from what I feel and that there is no way I would change their mind, so better off just leaving like nothing happened.

I cant say that I felt great after all that talk, usually those things don't bother me too much, but that time it was a little different. Again, it doesn't make me change any thoughts or feelings that I had.

I'm not the least worried about those specific people/players, cause I have no doubt that besides one player there is no chance I would stay friends with any of my teammates after my career.

Just to make it clear, not because they are homophobic or not, but because I don't feel that I share too many things with them anyway, just a common goal of succeeding on the floor and bringing our team as much success as possible.

On another note, I'm waiting for the final four that is just around the corner, don't know about you, but i'm a Butler fan this weekend.

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Gay Arab World

Hey everyone,

Haven't written in the last week, just been busy a little bit and also I felt that my last four part story was enough to get my some time off. :)

Anyways, there is been a lot of talk recently about gay rights in the USA, about DADT, about DOMA and other issues that have a big effect on the gay community and on civil rights in general.

My question is different, while we know about the USA and the progress that is made, what do we really know about the gay world in Arab nations?

Is the fact that there seems to be a changing of guards, and that the people seemingly have been trying to bring down the dictators of the Arab world going to make a difference in human rights in general and gay rights in particular?

I know that in his visit to Columbia University, the Iranian president, Ahmedinejad was asked about gay population in Iran and he came back with a great answer: "we don't have any of those in Iran". There is no doubt that human rights in most if not all Arab countries is terrible and is decades away from the modern world that we know.

We know that people can be killed, stoned or jailed for being gay, yet we never really hear facts and really never know how much of a issue it is among the citizens and not the dictators.

I mean, of course my feeling and I think yours also is that the citizens also don't accept gay people and gay rights in those countries and that it's a struggle just to stay alive if you happen to be gay.

My thing is what will happen if the Arab world moves a little forward after all the political and leader change that is seemingly happening. Does that mean that gays will have a chance to live a normal life, will they ever be able to live in public or is the Arab world consumed in thoughts and ideas that won't change no matter what happens?

I know that I struggle with the fact that if people knew I was gay it could really damage my career. There are a lot of people that are afraid of being mocked, fired or condoned by friends and co workers, but did any of us ever think that being gay can just get us killed?

Not because some homophobic people decide to beat up a gay person or because of hate crimes, but because that's the way of life? Just because gay is something that isn't accepted by governments and leaders in most countries in the Arab world?

It's hard to accept that something I believe isn't even up to us, and I mean being gay or not, can get us killed, or just force us to live a lie 24/7 for our whole life.

Now I'm sure that some Arab countries are better than others and are a little more modern, but still the issue is so problematic and so untold, I guess we will just have to wait and see what the day brings as far as the political changes in the Arab world.

I remember that the president of the football world association asked gay couples not to behave in a manner that will hurt the people in Dubai come the world cup at 2020.

Since it's illegal to be gay in Qatar. It only leaves us to wonder what will happen in the next eight years, I'm sure a lot will, just hope it will be in the direction we all hope and pray for.

Friday, March 11, 2011

New Comers

Hey again, hope everyone is enjoying the weekend.

We have had a couple of new comers to the seen, one of them being Stevin Davies, the cricket player from england. I read about this story a week ago when it just got published, of course I and others always welcome gay athletes that decide to come out and face reality.

I read a lot of articles on Davies and a little of the English tabloids and their thoughts. You already know that I support any athlete that comes out and I always think its welcome, I do believe again that it's a much different story than the four major sport games in the world which are for the matter the NBA,NFL,MLB/NHL and Soccer.

One of the British writers talked about the welcome act of Davies, but also mentioned that unlike other British athletes who are more famous and have a much bigger international profile his case won't or isn't likely to cause a big echo. Mainly because of the fact that he is a much lower profiled athelete in a much less profiled sports, at least with the tolerance of people towards it.

I have to admit i'm no cricket fan and don't really know too much about the game, but I would think that it would be less homophobic. That it carries in general a different crowd that might be more tolerant or might just look at the game or the people that play it a little different.

Besides that we also have Anton Hysen,the soccer player that came out and announced that he is gay, and again, it's a great thing and it's always welcomed, but as for a story or for it being a major event? I have to say not really, at least not in my opinion.

As much as all of us want someone high profiled to come out and lead the charge of the gay man in sports, this is not really the address. I don't know anything about Anton, besides the facts, and while i'm not saying he is a great, good or average soccer player, we need to look at the facts, he is playing in the fourth division in Sweden.

That just means that its somewhat of a amateur league of the sort. I think that it might be compared to minor league baseball and I would rate it even lower than AA baseball. I don't want to come off as a asshole or someone that looks to put down people and the movement of gays in sports forward, but the truth is that that level of soccer is probably like I said before not even pro

Anton might be a great player, but in the level that he is today it doesn't really make a splash or any kind of story and I think that the reason he got headlines is because his dad used to be a footballer in the English league.

I have a friend that always says he doesn't want or need the mid level players to be the one coming out, but rather just one big named athlete to tell the world he is gay and it will start changing things. I hope he is right and I hope that the day a big player in one of the 4-5 sports I talked about comes forward, but for the meanwhile we will settle for the feel good stories and wait to see what the future holds in the gay sports.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Time Moves On

Hey again,

Well, i'm a couple of days after the last post which was one my longest and more serious posts I had, anyway just wanted to follow it up a little bit.

I mentioned this, but just shortly in one of the posts, after getting back home from my vacation and all this ordeal I was a mess for a couple of weeks.

It took me time to get over the jet lag and the nights were long and I wasn't in a friendly mood most of the days. I was feeling lonely and mostly disappointed, i'm not sure that the reason was that specific guy, of course in the beginning it was only because of him.

I was still hoping he would call or email or facebook me or whatever, I decided on my end not to try and reach him, but to wait and see if anything would happen, after a couple of days that I didn't hear from him I just decided to call it quits.

I mean I was still hoping, but I deleted him from my facebook, because to be honest, why would I want to see pictures of him and be reminded all the time.

I was in the same mood for a couple of weeks, at same point it moved from being about him to being about myself, I mean, I was always thinking about him, but also worrying about, as I mentioned, is it the kind of guys that I will always be attracted to?

I was thinking about a family and having a partner and kids and so on, a little early, but still was thinking about it and worrying about what will happen with the next guy I meet or have a crush on or decide I want to date.

It was a certain time that the feeling was like, if i'm going to attract someone who I know from the get go isn't going to be serious and only leave me chasing him and being frustrated so why should I even try it.

Maybe i'm just better of enjoy partying, having one night stands and moving on, but we both know that it's not something that I could do, or that I can see myself doing for longer than a couple of days.

All of us, or at least most of us want to find that special someone and that guy who will be there for a long time. So guess I will just have to figure out or work on the kind of guys I fall for, hopefully it can be done.

In those couple of weeks I was also really sensitive, would shed a tear from every stupid TV show that someone ends up kissing or in love.

A friend of mine recommended I watch Bear City, I did,its about a young guy falling for a older gay bear, I most say that it's not my kind of guys, I mean no disrespect but I don't get turned on by those kind of guys.

I don't think its a master piece or anything, and the sex scene weren't enjoyable for me, but I did get excited and I was happy when the young guy, who was actually cute, ended up getting the guy he wanted and chased the whole movie, so I guess it also had to do with my emotional situation at the time :).

Hope you enjoy your weekend.