Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Stigma

Well, almost another week has gone by and practice is still intense, and hard, just like any pre season.

Wanted to start by thanking Robert for his comment on the last post, thanks for sharing the information. I sent the website to my friend. I'm sorry of course to learn that you have AIDS and I hope as you said that things are manageable and that things are at bay.

I can only agree from the side as to the stigma being one of the biggest issues around the whole disease, I see how my friend is feeling and how he is worried about the influence and what will happen if people found out.

I can only try to offer my support, try to make him take unpleasant decisions if needed and just try to help him manage himself to a certain point.

We all have to admit that our first instinct is to take a step back when we hear about something like this, but after that, I at least feel that not everything in life works the way you want it and being sick doesn't make anyone a worse person, so he deserves more support and less judging.

Lately I have been reading more gay websites and on the gay issue in general. I stumbled across an article on the advocate by Michael Lucas who is apparently a gay porn star, It's an interesting read.

He talks about the way negative gay guys behave or act around guys who are HIV positive. Also he basically says something that in least in my opinion or at least for the way I'm living now, which is mostly meeting guys on vacation, is correct.

Just assume everyone is HIV positive, always wear a condom and just be safe, that's my motto at least. It sounds a little harsh, but I have to agree that a guy that you meet at the bar or at a party, or some of you on the internet, is not exactly someone that you should believe everything he says and that includes if he is HIV positive or negative, and to a degree, just better safe than sorry.

I don't think it's a perfect solution and the condom can always break and there can be 101 bad scenarios, but this is life and that's some of the risks in life. Just as we can all do the right thing and still get hit by a bus or god forbid be in a car accident, we can't control everything, we can just try to minimize the chances of something happening.

If anyone wants to take a look, this is the link to the article :

On another note, I saw the YouTube video of the soldier coming out to his dad on his blog and via Skype. It was very touching and very real, was really moving when his dad told him a couple of times that he loves him no matter what. I always get very emotional when I see those sorts of videos and this time wasn't any different.

Finally, I saw online a nice billboard ad that in Memphis, showing a Soldier soluting and the caption reads : " I'm gay and I protected your freedom". Got to love it don't you? always nice and always touching to see those kinds of things.

It's great that it's out in the open, because gays always have been and always will be a part of the day to day life of everyone in our world and it's about time that people knew that and accepted it, at least that's what we can all hope for.

On a personal note, I met an american guy overseas once, he was cute and gay, I think I might of mentioned it. He was gay and out and his dream was to be a pilot in the air force, but he couldn't since he was out. I think about him every time I read about DODT and this week I can proudly smile that he got his chance now, what will happen no one knows, but sometimes all we need is just a chance.

Enjoy your weekend as always and for any of you following baseball, what the hell??????

Is the Red Sox and Braves melt down real? just couldn't believe it, but i'l give my take on it the next time.

Friday, September 23, 2011

First Encounter With HIV

Well. There is a subject that I thought about writing for a couple of months but wasn't sure if to share it or not, but I feel like it's about time.

As I mentioned in my blog in the beginning or in the first stages of my blog. I have two gay friends more or less that know about me and that have been in touch with me and have shared my stories and I have shared with them most of my adventures.

One of my friends is around my age, a real smart guy and a nice guy, someone who is always organized and always knows what he wants to achieve and is very useful a lot of times.

We are in touch and we sometimes see each other back home, but we usually communicate on facebook or skype during the season and we just fill each other on what's going one.

Around 6 months ago he asked me to call him on skype, something that usually doesn't happen. He had something to ask and tell me, he told me he met a guy in a party and that they went back to his house and had sex, he told me that the condom broke in the middle and that he was nervous about it.

I could understand his nerves and tried to help him calm down and basically after hearing the story I told him that it can happen and that I'm sure it's not a big deal and there is no reason to run to the hospital or to get too nervous over it.

I haven't talked to a lot of gay guys, but sometimes I hear or read about things of this nature and I'm sure that it can happen to anyone and you just shake it off, get checked and move on. I didn't see it any differently this time, so I just moved on.

During the summer when I was home, he called me and wanted to meet for lunch, something we do sometimes and I was looking forward to seeing him.

We met up in a local restaurant and just shared stories as always, then he told me he has something to tell me, I didn't think too much of it at the time, but then when he opened his mouth I was just fucking shocked.

He told me that he just got tested for HIV and that the answer came back positive, I couldn't believe it. He was a close friend and someone so responsible and so set in life, at least that's the way I looked at him, and to hear this news from him? I really couldn't believe it.

It was a tough day and tough lunch. I didn't know what to say and I felt as he didn't realize what has happened t him, we talked more and said our goodbyes.

Since that day we have been in contact frequently and I have nothing but comfort and support to offer him, he is on the way to finish all the forms filling and decision making on the way to get treatment and to see what exactly needs to happen.

I must admit that it's the first time that a friend of mine or anyone I personally know for that matter is HIV positive, not that it changes my feelings towards him. It just shows me that it can happen to everyone, even to someone I never believed that something like this could happen to.

He also tells me all the time that he feels like he is living up to the stereotype of the gay man and that's something he looks at as a sign of poor decision making. and he never thought it would happen to him.

I still have a hard time to accept and understand that its reality and this is really happened to him. As I said, I can only try to help him, support him and be there for him since I'm about the only person he told.

I decided to share with you guys just to show again that it can happen to anyone and aslo to prevent myself from having to hold this only to myself, as I feel I have enough secrets as it is.

Enjoy your weekend and remember to take care of yourself, sorry for sounding like a annoying parent, but it's the plain truth.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A List - New York

Well, what can I say? we have been working hard so far, the team looks cool and so are the guys and the coaches. I'm feeling my muscles everyday and spend most of the time either at the gym or at home, but i'm feeling good about it.

However, the main thing this week has been finding and watching the show : A-List New York, if some of you haven't heard of it, well it's a reality show about a group of gay guys in NYC.

I usually don't watch reality shows, but for some reason I have started to watch this and I have watched the whole first season (9 episodes) in two days and i'm moving on to season two, classy ah?

For those of you watching, I will give you a short opinion of the guys in the show, I would be happy to hear your thoughts about it.

Derek - don't know why, but I kind of like him, even though he is a little bitchy and dramatic as are most of the guys on the show, he still is kind of cute, with the boyish look, a look that I have to admit I really like in general, he is not bad, but not sure a guy I would go out with.

Austin - Well, look ways, Liked him in his old version, now he is mostly fat (compared to the way he was three years ago) and annoying, but really annoying. I like his kind of guys, but guess I like the old him. His marriage is so fake that it's amazing, looks like he just cares about Reichan and nothing else, besides the fact that he comes off like a big asshole who just feels good making problems for others.

Reichan - Haven't heard of him until this show, even though he is supposed to be well known. He is a good looking guy and seems nice also, not my type, but all together he seems more calm and mature than most guys on the show. Besides the fact that he always has to have someone with him.

Ryan - Usually I have a kind of problem with the flamboyant types, and he is one of them, but besides him wanting to hear a little gossip, he seems like a good guy and someone that cares about others. Also a successful guy and a good friend and a caring person. I'm happy that I can feel good about him, makes me feel better with the gay in me.

T.J - funny kid, not really my type and a lithe annoying, but seems like a easy going and a guy that basically says what he thinks and acts like he wants, which is something to always respect, again, bothers me a little sometimes, but all together harmless.

Rodney - WOW, can someone teach him english? I can't stand his accent and he is annoying all the time, with the broken up english, don't know why but he really gets to me. I mean, it has to be a reason, I just don't really know it yet.

I also have to admit that i'm jealous sometimes when they show one of the guys or someone else in a relationship, for some reason since I started watching it, I have flashbacks and I think about the guy I met in the summer. I started to miss him and I wish I could see him or talk to him, but I know it's not going to be healthy or get me anywhere.

I hope that some of you out there are watching this show, if you are, I would really want to hear what you think. I know it's trashy and stupid, but i'm addicted to this show. So lets hear you, if you got something to say.

Hope everyone has some plans for the weekend, enjoy!!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Back Once More

So, it's time to start another season of blogging and basketball. I did put up a couple of posts here and there, but no it’s time to get serious. This is the third year that I will be putting up posts, hope it will be in interesting year.

Basketball wise, we are doing our thing, working hard, getting to know teammates, the system, the offense, defense and what not, and also working to get into better basketball shape and physical shape.

I don't know if anyone here is following EuroBasket 2011, but it's been a great tournament, it's still up and running. A big amount of N.B.A players and stars, such as Nowitzki, Tony Parker, Kerilnako, Batum, Turkuglo and so on. It's great to watch and I’m enjoying each game I get a chance to see.

Regarding my personal life, not a real change, haven't spoken with the guy I met on vacation for a couple of months now. It's getting easier and I don't think of him as much anymore, gives me more peace and quiet, even though I have to admit that I look on facebook from time to time to see if he's still single.

I know it's time to move on, it's not like I'm going to date anyway anytime soon, but at least I'm a little more at peace with myself and not going crazy thinking about him.

On a completely other subject, I’m sure that most of you know that gay men aren't allowed to donate blood. If you didn't, well most countries ban gays from giving blood, since it has a bigger risk of being HIV positive, at least that's what they claim.

First of all I don't understand why when the blood gets tested for HIV anyway is there a difference who donates it? I mean, can't you just not use the donation’s that are HIV positive? Of course if I’m missing something I would be happy to hear from any of you and to be more educated on the subject.

The funny thing is that I read a couple of days ago that the U.K is close to lifting the ban on gay men donating blood, but there is a catch, you have to go 12 months without having sex, is that a joke or did they lose it all together?

I mean, basically they mean they are going to lift the ban and still prevent from 70% ( a real rough estimate) of gay men to donate blood, so this has to be just nonsense, at least in my opinion.

There is always the fact that if I want to donate I can cause I’m not out and no one knows I’m gay, but I don't see the point, if my blood isn't good enough because I’m gay, then I guess there is no point in donating it anyway.

I think this is a subject that still needs to be looked at harder. I mean you can be straight and be very promiscuous and be in a higher risk than a gay man who is in a committed relationship, but I guess that doesn't really matter to anyone.

There are a couple more things I wanted to write about, but I'm after two practices today and I honestly forgot most of what I wanted to say. So I guess I will wish everyone a great weekend and enjoy the upcoming N.F.L season.