Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Knowing Me, Knowing You

Hey everyone, hope everyone is enjoying the week.

I know that I had a smile on my face after I saw the final result of the Broncos and Patriots game, finally a couple of weeks and months without reading about Tebow and his cult.

I also read somewhere that CBS ran another focus on the family add during Tebow's game this past Saturday. I don't really have anything to add, besides being disgusted with what this group represents and the backing that Tebow and his family give this anti-gay group.

Besides that I saw a small article on ESPN, where the Chief of German soccer calls for gay soccer players to come out, interesting to hear his opinion on the subject.

I actually wanted to go back and talk to you a little about my last summer and what has happened since. I wrote about the great guy I met over the summer and spent a couple of weeks with and what happened after.

The fact that we lost touch and basically we both felt it would be too hard to keep in touch, not because of lack of ways to communicate, but that it would just hurt too much to be away and be and touch will we aren't able to see each other at all.

Anyway I never stopped thinking about him, but it wasn't too painful, just the memories and the good times and the first time that I really felt a guy really wanted me, I mean wanted me for who I really am, for a relationship and to spend time together, and not just for sex, because of my outer appearance.

Anyhow, the time moved on and I continued with my life and last month, as I wrote and asked for your advice on the blog, the guy had a birthday, I was thinking back and forth about sending him a message, should I do it, or should I not. In the end I decided to send him a message on facebook, just a short happy birthday.

I didn't hear back, to be honest, I didn't really thing I would. I know I hurt him, not intentionally and not by doing something mean, but just by "showing up" in his life and leaving.

I remember that the first night we spent together he didn't have any idea as to my personal life and I didn't tell him when I was leaving, because I wasn't sure how I feel about him. Something that when I look back means that it was something healthy, because it wasn't just a five minute crush.

Anyway, I was doing OK, feeling a little lonely, but nothing out of the ordinary after not hearing back, but in the last couple of days I'm just going crazy. I mean, I just really really miss him, I know I can't do anything about it now or maybe in general, but it just hurts. I check his facebook page once in a while, even though I don't like the profile picture, LOL.

I know it would just be mean to try to contact him and I don't really have any great news to tell him. Even if I was out we don't even live in the same continent, so the best I can offer him his two months a year? Doesn’t sound like a great deal to me, but what do I know.

I haven't even decided about the summer, if I will try to see him again or not. I really want to, but I don't really think anything good will come out of it, so it might just be a lose lose situation. I have enough time to think about it and see what the day will bring and how I will feel as time goes by.

For now I have my thoughts and memories and all the days when I just really miss being with someone like that same guy I met in the summer. I'm sure it will happen again; in the meanwhile it just hurts.

Enjoy your week my friends…


  1. Sorry it is tough for you. You only live once, no regrets.

  2. Hey I read this article on OutSports yesterday on what if Tim Tebow was gay. Interesting.... here is the link http://outsports.com/jocktalkblog/2012/01/12/is-tim-tebow-gay/
    And what a bummer about your "friend". I wish you could work that out.