2012

Hey everyone, been a long time since we last spoke, all the way back to 2011 I’m guessing. I'm sure I impressed you with my sense of humor.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed last night, whether it was with their love ones, or partying or just hanging out with some friends. As for me, I was at home, didn't feel like going out and don't really enjoy the company of too many people lately. I mean, I just rather not fake everything then go out and be with people that I don't have too much in common with, or don't really interest me.

I'm not trying to say that I only care about guys ore sex or things of that nature, it's just that I’m tired of the girl talk and all those things that are really the last thing that I want to hear about. I have to admit that this last week was a lonely one, I mean, I’m usually lonely, but in the last couple of days I felt it stronger than usual, it's just a bad feeling all around, I try to remind myself that this is the situation right now and there is nothing I can really do about it.

So OK, we moved on to 2012, what does the future hold for us? Well, down the line we have the elections. I have to admit that I really hope Obama will win again, just because he has done a lot for the LGBT community. While on the other side sit a bunch of morons, at least that's how they sound to me, and talk about trying to preserve the natural family, all that bullshit that them and Tim Tebow spend their time wasting on, instead of actually trying to do anything useful.

As for me, I was actually thinking about bringing up the subject of how the game you have week in and week out effects your mood, or in this case my mood, and just that we all forget that it's a game and It becomes pretty much a matter of life and death, but I will save that for next time.

I usually don't make lists or think too much about what each year will bring and what will change in my life. This year I didn't write anything either, but I had a different feeling this year, can't really explain it. It's not really related, but Saturday I decided to really clean my house and make it ready for 2012, I mean, I just went at it, so at least the house looks all nice and pretty for the New Year.

As for myself, like I said, I don't know what the future will bring, but I'm certain or almost certain that I had enough of being alone. I don't mean that I’m going to come out tomorrow and tell everyone that I’m gay, BUT I think I need to find a way to live my life, maybe without telling every person on this planet, but maybe just try to go out and find the balance.

I'm guessing that if people in the country I played here knew, it would make some kind of headlines, on the other hand, I’m not sure that journalists and websites will look to out someone who doesn't want to be. I haven't played this out in my mind too much, but I have played with and against a couple of players that I knew we’re gay and so did the media, but no one wrote about it or mentioned it in anyway, but again, it's just things that are running through my mind.

I just know that the last couple of days that I felt alone to the point that it just hurt was enough for me. It might take time and might not be next week or even in the next 9-10 months, but I know next year come December 31, 2012 I’m going to be either with my BF at home or going out on a date with someone, somewhere, at least I strongly believe in it.

For the rest of you, I just want to wish everyone a great new year. That you enjoy it, find happiness, love and joy. I just truly hope that everyone can go to sleep with a smile on their face for the majority of this year and the rest of their life. I know it sounds catchy and even border line naive, but I do believe that in the end of the day that's one of the greatest things in life, the possibility to lay back in bed and look on the day we had or a couple of hours that we spent with someone special and just smile about it and embrace it.

Before I say goodbye for tonight, I want to share a clip with you, I’m not sure how many of you saw it, but for those who didn't I recommend you do so. This is a clip of a young boy who passed away last week. He made this clip a week before his death; this reminds me that we should be thankful for waking up in the morning and just being alive. I know we never think of it or appreciate it, but sometimes a clip like this can remind all of us how lucky we are. I might not agree with the end of the clip, but I accept that everyone has his beliefs and is entitled to them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35O3E3T3GKQ&feature=share

So again, Happy new year and all the best to all of you, my friends, where ever you are reading this from.