I just started thinking about the first time that something happened with a friend, I mean something that pointed me in the direction that I do have an attraction to man.
I remember as a kid, I guess around 14 that me and a good friend had a tendency to fight a lot, I mean almost every day we would just go at it on the floor in his house or mine.
I remember how we both liked it and how much we liked when we got to the part that someone was on the floor and the other one, that being either me or him would be the one sitting on top.
Now of course we didn't intended to do anything or neither did we know too much of what we were doing, but I remember that both of us liked it, it was a great feeling, feeling someone so close to you, both on the level of physicality and also on the level of a good friend that I cared about deeply and he felt the same.
Now we had stages later on that we would do this "fighting bid" in my or his room, again with all our cloth on, just feeling each other and trying to enjoy it.
I think back to those times, I feel bad sometimes that neither of us did more, maybe because we didn't want to or maybe because we didn't know how to.
I also think that none of us wanted to really admit what was going on in his mind and what we really felt and wanted. I admit that we did see each other naked, but nothing happened besides the natural look from one another, or maybe natural in this case.
I haven't kept in touch with that friend for a lot of years, I don't know what's going on with him, the most I do know is that he is alive, GF? Married? No clue, be interesting to know if he is gay, even though I think that today I wouldn't do too much with that, but I guess I and you will never know.
It might of helped both of us during our younger years to cope, to understand that it's ok to have those feelings and it doesn't make you any less of a person, but I guess that was just too soon for both of us.
Hope you are enjoying your weekend…