Monday, April 25, 2011


Hey everyone, hope you are enjoying the playoffs, I sure am, at least the games that come on at normal hours of the day for me.

Today I wanted to write a little about something that has to do with me as an athlete, and doesn't have a big connection to me being gay.

Without going in to dates, a while back I suffered a serious knee injury that had me out for a real long time and required me to have an operation.
It happened to me during the season and I had to be sidelined and i went in to an operating room not long after.

After that came a month almost of barely doing anything, besides eating on having crutches to walk on, at least I get to be back in the U.S.A for a couple of weeks and had a chance to clear my head.

Through all this there is rehab, it's so hard and frustrating sometimes. I had to do the same thing almost every day and you barely improve, it's such a long process that sometimes you don't know what's ahead of you.

The worst thing through everything was not playing basketball, and not being a part of a team. I can honestly say that I didn't want my team to win sometimes, I didn't want to be left behind or forgotten and I wanted people and my team to remember that i'm in important part and they need me.

It came to the point that I couldn't watch games, I felt so bad, I wanted them to lose, but I was also completely bored. I think that In a sense I put basketball on the side for all that time. It was too painful and just showed me how strong my feelings for the game are.

I did more reading, more websites checking, more talking anonymously with people, but mostly doing everything or anything that doesn't have a touch to basketball.

I think it was the worst time I had since I became a basketball player. I worked so hard, everyday and sometimes twice a day, physiotherapy, weight room, running, lifting , shooting, anything you could think of, I did it, even got the chance to have sex once in all that time, but I won't tell if you don't, lol.

After the surgery and while sitting out, I hoped everything will go well, but you can never know after an operation, and sometimes you have to think about the worse, mostly I had a supportive family and friends, but some had to talk to me about reality.

I had to take into consideration that maybe something will go wrong, and then what's next? I didn't really want to think or talk about it, and I was also very positive that things will work out.

After a lot of hard work, I was back in practice, I was having so much fun and feeling great, when everything was said and done I can tell you that I came back healthy, my knee was strong and stable and I have been feeling well since. It was a dark time, a time that I think I connected to my gay side and left the basketball side on the sidelines.

After coming back, it took me sometime to get back to business, both psychically and mentally, cause I was already in a different place all during rehab, but gladly this story does have a good end to it, and so far so good.

Wanted to share this personal thing with you, even though it's mainly about basketball, but it also reminded me that some things in life are worth treasuring while we have them, cause we can lose them in a second.

1 comment:

  1. It's great that you were able to get thorough all this. Now you can look back with perspective and learn a good lesson.

    No, it is easy to say this *after* the problem.. once you are in the deepest part of the deal you do not know if you will get over it... dealing with that anxiety is overwhelming...

    glad you make it... cheers!