Lonely

Hey, Two posts in three days, look at me go :).

Anyways I have a couple of minutes before leaving for practice so just wanted to share what's on my mind.

Like everyone I have better days than others, when I'm feeling happy and content and don't really feel like anything is bothering me or in my way.
However there are days and times when being lonely hits me. The last couple of days its been like this.

This is the best place for me to share it, since you "know" my story, anyway I have those times when I feel really alone and I start thinking of others things besides basketball, or better yet, only things outside of basketball.

Like every year I'm waiting for my vacation that is around the corner, around two months more or less before I can go have fun again.

The last week, I have just been feeling empty, not doing anything the whole day, just going to the gym twice a day, do my routine, work out hard, enjoy practice and go back to my four walls and my lonely home.

This is the time that I really want someone with me, badly, not talking about sex of course, but something more meaningful than that, someone to live with, to laugh with, someone to have a family with when the time comes. Even now that It's still too early for kids, I find myself thinking about kids a lot, about a family and about a different life.

I'm sharing this because you are my friends, even if not friends that know how I look or who I am on the outside all of you more or less already know me on the inside. I'm really not looking for people to tell me that maybe I should rethink my choices in life, because i'm not going to be leaving basketball any time soon, but just to share a little bit.

I hope somehow to meet someone while playing, this is difficult, but I'm still hoping maybe a miracle can happen. It's funny, I have so many friends on facebook, most of them of course are basketball fans, whom I don't really know, some of them also really hot, but you know, I can't really go up to them on facebook and ask them out on a date.

First of all I don't know if they are gay, secondly, well you already know what's the second problem. I also see on facebook a lot of gay guys from the states, people I would really like to try to talk to, but I can't really do that, and if I try opening a fake account.

I mean no picture or anything, I cant exactly open a conversation or make new friends without them knowing how I look like, I mean it's the starting point to a friendship or anything usually, not fun to hear, but that's the truth.

Guess that's more or less what I wanted to say and was on my heart, enjoy Sunday and enjoy your family :)