Hey everyone,
Hope everyone is doing well, anyone excited from the CBA in the N.B.A and the season starting soon? I have to admit I’m kind of happy, will get a chance to see a couple of former teammates and also it always helps falling asleep late at night when I’m tired.
Also have to admit that I'm happy cause Van Gundy will be back, he is with no doubt my favorite analyst regarding basketball and he always makes me laugh, so that's also kind of nice.
As for me, I’m doing well, nothing special, just been traveling a lot for games lately. Not always fun flying in and out of different countries or cities and sometimes it doesn't really matter where you are, because you basically play and go back home, but that's part of the job.
It also has its nice moments, a big win on the road, being together with teammates that are also friends a lot of the time, just being able to eat all day, LOL, can't always complain.
I guess all of you saw the clip of the boy Jonah Mowry and if you didn't then this is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdkNn3Ei-Lg
It's very touching and sad and made me feel really bad. I have talked about if before, but I will say it again, I do have a soft spot for kids and it's hard for me to see someone suffer, especially on the count of being different, in this case gay.
I might relate more to this specific situation because I guess it was hard for me also growing up and in my first years of adulthood. Not because the way I was treated, but the way I treated myself in a sense, or the way I felt about myself.
Now this clip has had almost 7 million hits and it went viral very fast, I read the other day that he posted a different clip a couple of months after showing a different picture and now people are saying that the first video, the one I left the link to is fake.
His mom has stepped up to say that it's not and that it's really the way he felt , I don't know how many people are buying it and how many aren't, but I say : "WHO CARES".
I mean the kid deliverd a message of suffering and pain, a message that so many kids relate to and feel in their young and fragile life. There are so many kids being bullied or being hated for being gay or being different and Jonah delivered their message and their cry, it doesn't really matter in my eyes if it's real or not.
The suffering, the suicide and the heart breaking stories we read about everyday are real and are out there everywhere. Kids can be real cruel to other kids and a lot of the times don't have any boundaries, and just go all out to humiliate others and to make others feel bad because of their own insecurities.
So if 7 million people saw this message the rest isn't relevant, the issue doesn't need to be whether the video is real or not, but whether anyone is doing anything to help young kids, kids in pain and in dark places in their life. It's so sad to hear more and more stories regarding this issue, I don't know what the solution is, even though a lot has to come from education in school and from understanding that being different doesn't make anyone better than you ,but just different.
You can simplify things and compare it to ice cream: some of us like Vanilla, some like Chocolate, some like Peanut better, there are all different tastes and there is a place for every flavor in the store, in our homes and in our hearts. Everyone just needs to focus on the flavor they like and let the others enjoy what they like, without thinking one is better than the other.
I hope that all the LGBT organizations out there can change the picture and help the acceptance of the whole LGBT issue through the country, even if it takes time. I just hope the picture will get brighter for those kids who are suffering through life, because no one, especially not kids deserve to suffer for something that they didn’t even chose.
Enjoy the weekend everyone!!
Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
The Less Fortunate
Hey again, hope everyone enjoyed their new year weekend, hope you went out, partied, got a little drunk ( or not), but just enjoyed yourself.
I wouldn't mind having a night out on the town, well at town where I can be gay and there are a lot of available young blond guys which just happened to be gay.
Instead of that, I enjoyed playing five on five and working on our full court press, you got to say that sounds much better, and instead of Ice in my drink I had some on my knees, but that's way cooler isn't it? And I mean that in every sense of the word.
As for new years, since I don't enjoy going out to straight parties, I said this before, I just don't like being in a place that I don't have anything to really do, besides making sure that no girl hits on me or sends her friend to talk to me.
Instead I just went to a restaurant with a teammate and his wife and called it a night, the only thing I was kissing as 2011 came in was this screen, since I was finishing up another post, my latest one.
Regarding that, I just read the comment left by gp, to sum it up he said "we should do everything possible to avoid internalizing the anti-gay bigotry of society at large. We shouldn't think for a minute that there's anything wrong, sinful or immoral about being gay". That was about me writing about kids that their only sin was being gay.
I'm always happy to get as many comments as possible and I think that we might have misunderstood each other. For me it was just the same as writing that someone’s only sin is loving chocolate, it doesn't mean that it’s really a sin , or it's something bad, but just that it’s something that's different.
To make a larger point, a point that I mentioned in my last post, I go back to what I said about being gay as being different. I know it might not be popular to say, BUT, you can’t deny that being gay is not the normal thing in society and that being gay is a deviation from the "social norm.
I never said it means that being gay means that you aren't as good or that you aren't worthy to receive everything that a straight person does, but just to say that it's different, if it wasn't than 40-50 % of the world would be gay and not 8-10 % of it.
My point is that we are looked at as different than others, and rightly so in the matter of putting it to the simple meaning of things. Just like being left handed as my friend gp mentioned is a deviation from the norm (8-15 % of adults are left handed). What society does with it and the way they treat gay men and women, well that's a whole different story.
Last time out I talked about young girls and boys that are gay and the bullying they have to deal with. Something which follows with cases of suicide sadly enough. However there are still more problems in that same youth, a lot of times we talk about the treatment they receive outside of their homes, but there is also a big problem inside the homes.
I got the chance to speak, online that is with a couple of guys that their family threw out of the house because they found out they were gay. It was hard to hear and it was a conversation which I couldn't find any words of support to give, because if you can't rely on the people that gave you life and are the most valuable thing in the world, then who can you rely on?
I could only find a large publication from 2007 that says that 42 % of the homeless youth is gay, which is pretty hard to accept when knowing what percentage of the population gays are.
Trying to put things in context, I guess the point is that being different is something that people can't handle, it's not that I'm discovering anything new over here, but I guess that people just can't cope with it. A lot of families can't accept even their own kids because they didn’t turn out like they wanted.
I mentioned that I'm lucky to have a great family that loves me just the same even though I like guys, and blonds in particular :)
but to be serious, ignorance is a problem and it falls mostly on the gay subject, but there are a lot of people that are ignorant about a lot of matters and they take the different and the minority and try to "convert them" or deal with them in a matter that will give them quite and won't "harm" their way of living.
I don't know how it is to be homeless and I hope that no one I know will, but again, it breaks my heart and it's just hard to accept the kind of world we live in. Being homeless in general is a terrible thing and a lot of families find themselves in the streets because of the economic situation and financial problems, but being kids and getting thrown out because of a sexual preference, something that most of us don't chose, but is chosen for us? That’s just too much for me to handle.
As time progress and I keep writing those posts I get a stronger feeling that I would eventually want to volunteer and help those less fortunate than me. I don't know when or where, but I hope to keep my word, to myself, and do something, even small that could help.
For you out there that are volunteering and helping out kids, adults, gay, straight or both, I can only show my appreciation and my admiration of what you do and how you help. I'm sure you go home in the end of the day and feel good about yourself, and a lot of times that's much more than making another pay check or getting another rise.
I found myself lately writing much more about emotional things and less about sports related issue. I know that this is a blog about my life as a gay basketball player, but I feel sometimes that it's a privilege to share with you other things on my mind, so I just go for it.
Take care and have a nice week.
I wouldn't mind having a night out on the town, well at town where I can be gay and there are a lot of available young blond guys which just happened to be gay.
Instead of that, I enjoyed playing five on five and working on our full court press, you got to say that sounds much better, and instead of Ice in my drink I had some on my knees, but that's way cooler isn't it? And I mean that in every sense of the word.
As for new years, since I don't enjoy going out to straight parties, I said this before, I just don't like being in a place that I don't have anything to really do, besides making sure that no girl hits on me or sends her friend to talk to me.
Instead I just went to a restaurant with a teammate and his wife and called it a night, the only thing I was kissing as 2011 came in was this screen, since I was finishing up another post, my latest one.
Regarding that, I just read the comment left by gp, to sum it up he said "we should do everything possible to avoid internalizing the anti-gay bigotry of society at large. We shouldn't think for a minute that there's anything wrong, sinful or immoral about being gay". That was about me writing about kids that their only sin was being gay.
I'm always happy to get as many comments as possible and I think that we might have misunderstood each other. For me it was just the same as writing that someone’s only sin is loving chocolate, it doesn't mean that it’s really a sin , or it's something bad, but just that it’s something that's different.
To make a larger point, a point that I mentioned in my last post, I go back to what I said about being gay as being different. I know it might not be popular to say, BUT, you can’t deny that being gay is not the normal thing in society and that being gay is a deviation from the "social norm.
I never said it means that being gay means that you aren't as good or that you aren't worthy to receive everything that a straight person does, but just to say that it's different, if it wasn't than 40-50 % of the world would be gay and not 8-10 % of it.
My point is that we are looked at as different than others, and rightly so in the matter of putting it to the simple meaning of things. Just like being left handed as my friend gp mentioned is a deviation from the norm (8-15 % of adults are left handed). What society does with it and the way they treat gay men and women, well that's a whole different story.
Last time out I talked about young girls and boys that are gay and the bullying they have to deal with. Something which follows with cases of suicide sadly enough. However there are still more problems in that same youth, a lot of times we talk about the treatment they receive outside of their homes, but there is also a big problem inside the homes.
I got the chance to speak, online that is with a couple of guys that their family threw out of the house because they found out they were gay. It was hard to hear and it was a conversation which I couldn't find any words of support to give, because if you can't rely on the people that gave you life and are the most valuable thing in the world, then who can you rely on?
I could only find a large publication from 2007 that says that 42 % of the homeless youth is gay, which is pretty hard to accept when knowing what percentage of the population gays are.
Trying to put things in context, I guess the point is that being different is something that people can't handle, it's not that I'm discovering anything new over here, but I guess that people just can't cope with it. A lot of families can't accept even their own kids because they didn’t turn out like they wanted.
I mentioned that I'm lucky to have a great family that loves me just the same even though I like guys, and blonds in particular :)
but to be serious, ignorance is a problem and it falls mostly on the gay subject, but there are a lot of people that are ignorant about a lot of matters and they take the different and the minority and try to "convert them" or deal with them in a matter that will give them quite and won't "harm" their way of living.
I don't know how it is to be homeless and I hope that no one I know will, but again, it breaks my heart and it's just hard to accept the kind of world we live in. Being homeless in general is a terrible thing and a lot of families find themselves in the streets because of the economic situation and financial problems, but being kids and getting thrown out because of a sexual preference, something that most of us don't chose, but is chosen for us? That’s just too much for me to handle.
As time progress and I keep writing those posts I get a stronger feeling that I would eventually want to volunteer and help those less fortunate than me. I don't know when or where, but I hope to keep my word, to myself, and do something, even small that could help.
For you out there that are volunteering and helping out kids, adults, gay, straight or both, I can only show my appreciation and my admiration of what you do and how you help. I'm sure you go home in the end of the day and feel good about yourself, and a lot of times that's much more than making another pay check or getting another rise.
I found myself lately writing much more about emotional things and less about sports related issue. I know that this is a blog about my life as a gay basketball player, but I feel sometimes that it's a privilege to share with you other things on my mind, so I just go for it.
Take care and have a nice week.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Kids And Their Parents
Hey
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and getting ready for the playoffs that are starting tomorrow, definitely a good time to be a basketball fan. I just put up a short post about the playoffs and my bracket for anyone interested in checking it out and voicing their opinion.
Anyway, after I talked about marriage on my last post I wanted to add the matter of kids to the equation, of course in the matter of gay parenting.
I know that there are a lot of possibilities to have kids nowadays, for a gay couple there is the possibility of a Surrogate mother, there is the possibility of adopting a child ,or of a gay man and gay woman that decide to have joint custody of a child. I know that there are more options and different one's, I just wrote a few I'm familiar with.
I wonder about myself and how I would deal with this subject. I still have time before I will reach the stage of having children, but I'm sure that I will want them.
I have spoken to a couple of gay guys during my vacations and I always got the impression that some didn't think too much about having children. I wonder if it's the young age, or just the though of living a life of no commitments and sometimes no family.
Maybe once you are already out of the routine way of living, which means a husband and wife, you feel free to just do what you want and not have to answer to societies expectations of a modern family.
I know that usually before kids there needs to be a partner and someone to rise a child with, when I think about myself, I can't help thinking that I will have a problem with having a kid that's not mine biologically, since I'm able to do so.
It's not that I'm going to get a woman pregnant (at least I hope not), but I do want the child to be mine, now for example if me and my partner will want a child it wouldn't be fair to him that I will be the father and he won't.
Adopting is a different story and surrogacy is also a different story, I just feel that I want the child to be mine biologically, guess it's something that I feel strongly about, at least for the moment.
I see my parents and see parents of other friends, I think it's a gift to be a parent and it just amazes me every time to think that, two people can create such an amazing creature. Of course when that creature is cute, good looking and gay, his parents need to get two thumbs up :).
Thinking of that and seeing how kids are a lot of times a splitting image and a mirror of their parents, it's something that I feel I really want to experience and really have the chance to be a part of.
A child that is raised by two gay men or women in my opinion can receive just as good as care as in a straight family, there are enough examples of straight families that the child is abused or neglected or just not cared about.
I strongly believe that people, and no matter straight or gay first of all need to be a certain kind of person to be a good parent, and if you are willing to love your child, care for him and help him through the bad times you should be a parent, no matter who you share your life with.
Relating the NBA, the NCAA and sports, you see and hear to much of players that are 20-22 and already have kids, it's a age that they are still kids and still growing up.
In my opinion they are just hurting their child that won't necessarily receive the best care, and it has nothing to do with money, but with the warmth and the care that they won't receive. In a lot of cases the child is left with his mom, barely sees his dad, and I guess it's not the optimal childhood, but then again, that's just my opinion.
Back to kids who are in gay families, the question of the way they are raised also comes to mind, I know that I will raise my child to make his own decisions and chose his own way, but I'm guessing that there are gay couples and families that might want their kids to also be gay.
None of us know to a certainty how much effect, if at all, the family and the way a person grows up has an effect on someone's sexuality, but maybe their will be some pressure or expectations from the family. I'm not pointing this out as something good, or bad, it's just a way of thinking I guess.
I also believe that kids of gay couples will also be picked on at school sometimes and might have their bad times which they feel different and not accepted but again, I believe strongly that they can have just as good as of a childhood of any other kid, and maybe even better.
Like everything else in the last couple of years, I hear and read more and more about gay parents, I think it's something blessed. Just like I said before, I really believe that if you love your child and you are willing to do what's necessary to promise him a good childhood and you have the tools, both material and mental, then you are fit to be a parent in my book.
To finish up, here is a a song that just goes to show that not every parent is a good one, gay or straight :
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"
my son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and getting ready for the playoffs that are starting tomorrow, definitely a good time to be a basketball fan. I just put up a short post about the playoffs and my bracket for anyone interested in checking it out and voicing their opinion.
Anyway, after I talked about marriage on my last post I wanted to add the matter of kids to the equation, of course in the matter of gay parenting.
I know that there are a lot of possibilities to have kids nowadays, for a gay couple there is the possibility of a Surrogate mother, there is the possibility of adopting a child ,or of a gay man and gay woman that decide to have joint custody of a child. I know that there are more options and different one's, I just wrote a few I'm familiar with.
I wonder about myself and how I would deal with this subject. I still have time before I will reach the stage of having children, but I'm sure that I will want them.
I have spoken to a couple of gay guys during my vacations and I always got the impression that some didn't think too much about having children. I wonder if it's the young age, or just the though of living a life of no commitments and sometimes no family.
Maybe once you are already out of the routine way of living, which means a husband and wife, you feel free to just do what you want and not have to answer to societies expectations of a modern family.
I know that usually before kids there needs to be a partner and someone to rise a child with, when I think about myself, I can't help thinking that I will have a problem with having a kid that's not mine biologically, since I'm able to do so.
It's not that I'm going to get a woman pregnant (at least I hope not), but I do want the child to be mine, now for example if me and my partner will want a child it wouldn't be fair to him that I will be the father and he won't.
Adopting is a different story and surrogacy is also a different story, I just feel that I want the child to be mine biologically, guess it's something that I feel strongly about, at least for the moment.
I see my parents and see parents of other friends, I think it's a gift to be a parent and it just amazes me every time to think that, two people can create such an amazing creature. Of course when that creature is cute, good looking and gay, his parents need to get two thumbs up :).
Thinking of that and seeing how kids are a lot of times a splitting image and a mirror of their parents, it's something that I feel I really want to experience and really have the chance to be a part of.
A child that is raised by two gay men or women in my opinion can receive just as good as care as in a straight family, there are enough examples of straight families that the child is abused or neglected or just not cared about.
I strongly believe that people, and no matter straight or gay first of all need to be a certain kind of person to be a good parent, and if you are willing to love your child, care for him and help him through the bad times you should be a parent, no matter who you share your life with.
Relating the NBA, the NCAA and sports, you see and hear to much of players that are 20-22 and already have kids, it's a age that they are still kids and still growing up.
In my opinion they are just hurting their child that won't necessarily receive the best care, and it has nothing to do with money, but with the warmth and the care that they won't receive. In a lot of cases the child is left with his mom, barely sees his dad, and I guess it's not the optimal childhood, but then again, that's just my opinion.
Back to kids who are in gay families, the question of the way they are raised also comes to mind, I know that I will raise my child to make his own decisions and chose his own way, but I'm guessing that there are gay couples and families that might want their kids to also be gay.
None of us know to a certainty how much effect, if at all, the family and the way a person grows up has an effect on someone's sexuality, but maybe their will be some pressure or expectations from the family. I'm not pointing this out as something good, or bad, it's just a way of thinking I guess.
I also believe that kids of gay couples will also be picked on at school sometimes and might have their bad times which they feel different and not accepted but again, I believe strongly that they can have just as good as of a childhood of any other kid, and maybe even better.
Like everything else in the last couple of years, I hear and read more and more about gay parents, I think it's something blessed. Just like I said before, I really believe that if you love your child and you are willing to do what's necessary to promise him a good childhood and you have the tools, both material and mental, then you are fit to be a parent in my book.
To finish up, here is a a song that just goes to show that not every parent is a good one, gay or straight :
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"
my son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"
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