Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Would we change?

Hey again, been a week since my last post, but finally I found the time and energy to put another one up.

I got an email from someone that I just started talking to recently, he came up with a question that made me think.

It sounds silly when you think about it, or the idea itself isn't something realistic or can be done, but it did get my mind working a little bit.

Basically his question was on the subject of what will happen if they will find a "cure" for being gay, meaning would I want to use it and go on the straight way.

I know it's something very out there and something theoretical, but it does get the mind thinking, I strongly believe that none of us were asked when we were born or just starting our life if we want to be gay or not, and I never thought of it as any kind of option.

I can honestly say that I spent most of my time as my teenager feeling alone and feeling that the world was cruel to me and decide to punish me by being gay and I just didn't want to be different, I wanted to fit in and be like everyone.

Today this question seems, well, since I can't feel anything towards a woman it's hard for me to think about being straight. Of course if I would take that magic pill then probably I would also be attracted to woman and maybe all of it would change.

However since I just know what it's like having feelings for guys and just wanting to be with a gay it's very hard to think about the whole subject, I'm sure that there are a lot of guys out there that would do it in a second.

They would just want all this burden lifted off of them, not being different, not having to deal with issues that all the straight guys don't deal with and are left only for us gay guys.

On the other hand think that there are a lot of guys who feel so comfortable in their own skin and feel good about being gay. They feel complete and they won't even think about taking that "pill" or choosing the easy way out maybe, and by that I mean just being like everyone else.

Again, for me, it's hard to say, even when it's just something in theory, some years back I would say yes in a heart bit and just try to get everything over with, all the lying, the running around when no one is seeing, putting my life on hold.

Now, it's hard for me to say it with a good feeling, again, I'm sure it's mostly because I feel attracted to guys and not girls, but I guess I don't feel so bad that I feel I'm willing to do anything to change it.

It's interesting for me to hear from anyone out there about this subject, I'm sure it's a question each and everyone of us had going through his mind at one point or another.

Sadly enough there have been people who couldn't bare being gay or being different or trying to deal with everything, some of them committed suicide some of them live their life in a lie, just not to have to face being gay.

I can't and never would I want to judge anyone, I guess when the cards aren't always dealt fairly not everyone can turn them into a winning hand, as for me, I'm still working on reaching a full house :).

I will finish up with a song, as always..

Roughneck and rudeness,
We should be using, on the ones who practice wicked charms
For the sword and the stone
Bad to the bone
Battle is not over
Even when it's won
And when a child is born into this world
It has no concept
Of the tone the skin is living in

And when a child is born into this world
It has no concept
Of the tone of the skin he's living in
And there's a million voices
And there's a million voices
To tell you what she should be thinking
So you better sober up for just a second


  1. I wrestled with this issue last year on my own blog. Short answer: No, I wouldn't take the pill. I like how I am right now, thank you. Long answer, tinged with my LDS Christian perspective, is here if anybody cares to read it:


  2. I would not take the pill either. I have always been comfortable about being gay. Never had the issues so many people have had and never gave it much thought really. I love men and that's all there is to it.

  3. Just remember that, just like Viagra and other medications, that "magic pill" will have side effects. ;-)

  4. No, I wouldn't take it. As a teen, yeah, but not now. I am who I am and don't want to change. I would have never met my husband or my son if I had taken the pill.

    People don't commit suicide because they're gay, they do it because of society's attitude toward being gay, or the bullying, or the rejection of their family or friends, or because they've been braiwashed by religion or our culture into believing that being gay is wrong. Being gay by itself is never a reason to commit suicide, just as being left handed isn't. It's just one of the many differences in humans that really don't make a difference.

  5. Yes. I would take it in a heart beat. I'm 22 and tired of hiding, being asked, and wishing I wasn't. I was given everything: looks, athletic talent, smarts. It feels like a curse.

    I want to be "normal" and have a beautiful wife and kids eventually. I'm starting to realize that my future won't be that though and it's a very surreal thought. Depressing beyond belief.

    I'm not knocking other's who coped with it differently and embrace it. I just don't want it for me.

    Maybe a pill won't come along... but a man can dream.