Sometimes when I have time for myself and I want to try and put my thoughts on "paper" and put a post up on my blog, my mind doesn't want to cooperate with me and I feel like I don't have a clear idea, usually when that happens I just try to see what comes up as I continue writing.
It's not time to sum things up yet, and me and my team still have time left on this season, but everyone is starting to reach the later stages, just like the NBA, it's this time of year in the basketball world and it couldn't be greater.
Of course with time going by the games become more crucial and the pressure is bigger, but on the other hand that's what every athlete waits for, to have those games that mean everything, that a win means you advance and move on and a lose might send you home.
I always love that sentence on ABC or one of the channels that broadcasts the NBA games "Win Or Go Home".
On the other hand it can be also very cruel, because when it's money time nothing you did all season long counts any more.
Just like Dallas lost to the spurs, and suddenly no one remembers that they were second in the west coast, I guess there is a reason they say that timing is everything in life.
I hope our timing will be good this year and when money time arrives we will do what is needed, but I guess only time will tell.
Besides that I can't think about anything special that is going on in my life, but I did think a little bit about trying to compare a gay guy's life to a striaght guys life.
of course that being straight is much easier in the eye of society and they aren't judged on every move or they have it much easier when it comes to family, to starting one and living out their life.
However my opinion isn't objective, because I'm of course gay, I'm sure that straight guys have a lot of problems in life just like us gay guys. So maybe society usually is easier on them, but that doesn't mean that they feel that about themselves.
It's obvious that a lot of straight guys might also feel like failures, feel that they aren't achieving anything and feel that they aren't reaching the potential and the ability that they can.
I think that the gay community in general takes on the part of the victim a lot of times, I know that sometimes it's right, but also sometimes it looks like that what they are basically saying is that we are victims and we don't get what we deserve.
There are a lot of cases that this might really be the issue and reality, that gay's get discriminated and suffer much more in order to achieve everything in life, but it might also send the wrong message to a lot of gays, that we have to have that felling of not equals or not "getting" what we deserve.
Through this blog I have found out about a lot of guys that built a family for themselves, found a partner they love, went on to adopt kids and just be happy in their life and what they made of it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I can't relate to the issues that straight men have, I'm sure they also have their troubles in life and their battles and maybe sometimes we take on ourselves the victim part to strong.
It's a fact, at least in my book, that we didn't chose to be gay, it was chosen for us, and yeah, life would be easier if we weren't, but the question is what each one does with himself after he accepts that fact.
It's easy to feel a victim and to feel like you got screwed over, Believe me, I have felt that for a long time, the question is what each one does after that, and in that department I guess it's every man for himself.
Just to be clear, when I say gay community, I mean the people who belong to the community.
I'm not trying to say that it's a movement thing or a decision made by a small group representing gay's around the world, but just in the general sense of things, and again, of course it's not every one as a whole, but just something that can represent a lot of gay guys.
I will finish with a nice quite song
I'm standing on the edge of time
I Walked away when love was mine
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing
The tears are in my mind
And nothing is rhyming, oh Mandy
Well you came and you gave without taking
but I sent you away, oh Mandy
well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy