Thursday, March 3, 2011

Time Moves On

Hey again,

Well, i'm a couple of days after the last post which was one my longest and more serious posts I had, anyway just wanted to follow it up a little bit.

I mentioned this, but just shortly in one of the posts, after getting back home from my vacation and all this ordeal I was a mess for a couple of weeks.

It took me time to get over the jet lag and the nights were long and I wasn't in a friendly mood most of the days. I was feeling lonely and mostly disappointed, i'm not sure that the reason was that specific guy, of course in the beginning it was only because of him.

I was still hoping he would call or email or facebook me or whatever, I decided on my end not to try and reach him, but to wait and see if anything would happen, after a couple of days that I didn't hear from him I just decided to call it quits.

I mean I was still hoping, but I deleted him from my facebook, because to be honest, why would I want to see pictures of him and be reminded all the time.

I was in the same mood for a couple of weeks, at same point it moved from being about him to being about myself, I mean, I was always thinking about him, but also worrying about, as I mentioned, is it the kind of guys that I will always be attracted to?

I was thinking about a family and having a partner and kids and so on, a little early, but still was thinking about it and worrying about what will happen with the next guy I meet or have a crush on or decide I want to date.

It was a certain time that the feeling was like, if i'm going to attract someone who I know from the get go isn't going to be serious and only leave me chasing him and being frustrated so why should I even try it.

Maybe i'm just better of enjoy partying, having one night stands and moving on, but we both know that it's not something that I could do, or that I can see myself doing for longer than a couple of days.

All of us, or at least most of us want to find that special someone and that guy who will be there for a long time. So guess I will just have to figure out or work on the kind of guys I fall for, hopefully it can be done.

In those couple of weeks I was also really sensitive, would shed a tear from every stupid TV show that someone ends up kissing or in love.

A friend of mine recommended I watch Bear City, I did,its about a young guy falling for a older gay bear, I most say that it's not my kind of guys, I mean no disrespect but I don't get turned on by those kind of guys.

I don't think its a master piece or anything, and the sex scene weren't enjoyable for me, but I did get excited and I was happy when the young guy, who was actually cute, ended up getting the guy he wanted and chased the whole movie, so I guess it also had to do with my emotional situation at the time :).

Hope you enjoy your weekend.

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