Friday, September 23, 2011

First Encounter With HIV

Well. There is a subject that I thought about writing for a couple of months but wasn't sure if to share it or not, but I feel like it's about time.

As I mentioned in my blog in the beginning or in the first stages of my blog. I have two gay friends more or less that know about me and that have been in touch with me and have shared my stories and I have shared with them most of my adventures.

One of my friends is around my age, a real smart guy and a nice guy, someone who is always organized and always knows what he wants to achieve and is very useful a lot of times.

We are in touch and we sometimes see each other back home, but we usually communicate on facebook or skype during the season and we just fill each other on what's going one.

Around 6 months ago he asked me to call him on skype, something that usually doesn't happen. He had something to ask and tell me, he told me he met a guy in a party and that they went back to his house and had sex, he told me that the condom broke in the middle and that he was nervous about it.

I could understand his nerves and tried to help him calm down and basically after hearing the story I told him that it can happen and that I'm sure it's not a big deal and there is no reason to run to the hospital or to get too nervous over it.

I haven't talked to a lot of gay guys, but sometimes I hear or read about things of this nature and I'm sure that it can happen to anyone and you just shake it off, get checked and move on. I didn't see it any differently this time, so I just moved on.

During the summer when I was home, he called me and wanted to meet for lunch, something we do sometimes and I was looking forward to seeing him.

We met up in a local restaurant and just shared stories as always, then he told me he has something to tell me, I didn't think too much of it at the time, but then when he opened his mouth I was just fucking shocked.

He told me that he just got tested for HIV and that the answer came back positive, I couldn't believe it. He was a close friend and someone so responsible and so set in life, at least that's the way I looked at him, and to hear this news from him? I really couldn't believe it.

It was a tough day and tough lunch. I didn't know what to say and I felt as he didn't realize what has happened t him, we talked more and said our goodbyes.

Since that day we have been in contact frequently and I have nothing but comfort and support to offer him, he is on the way to finish all the forms filling and decision making on the way to get treatment and to see what exactly needs to happen.

I must admit that it's the first time that a friend of mine or anyone I personally know for that matter is HIV positive, not that it changes my feelings towards him. It just shows me that it can happen to everyone, even to someone I never believed that something like this could happen to.

He also tells me all the time that he feels like he is living up to the stereotype of the gay man and that's something he looks at as a sign of poor decision making. and he never thought it would happen to him.

I still have a hard time to accept and understand that its reality and this is really happened to him. As I said, I can only try to help him, support him and be there for him since I'm about the only person he told.

I decided to share with you guys just to show again that it can happen to anyone and aslo to prevent myself from having to hold this only to myself, as I feel I have enough secrets as it is.

Enjoy your weekend and remember to take care of yourself, sorry for sounding like a annoying parent, but it's the plain truth.


  1. The equivalent to HIV for straights is an unintended pregnancy. Seriously. A condom breaks and a child is born. For gay men a condom breaks and someone gets HIV, possibly.

    I wish that your friend had gone to an emergency department or called his physician. There is post exposure prophylaxis, which are HIV drugs given for a short time in the case of possible exposure. It is given in situations like this or if a healthcare works has a needlestick injury while drawing blood. It is very effective, but many people don't know about it and don't get the treatment that they need. So spread the word - there is treatment if a condom breaks.

  2. Thanks for your post. I hope the treatments for your friend go well. I think today it will be something he can live with, hopefully... I am sure it is still a shock..

  3. hi bballer.

    I've been following from the beginning, learning all about you. So maybe you should know a little something about me. I have AIDS. I was diagnosed with AIDS before I even got my HIV test results back. A lot has happened in the 25 years since the virus first started to appear. The 'meds' these days ave taken a quantum leap from the toxic medicines they first used to try to keep the virus at bay. The virus, on the whole, is manageable and the meds. for the most part, tolerable.

    The most comprehensive web site is It is managed by people with HIV/AIDS. If your friend has any questions about his meds or diet or exercise or side effects, etc (or if you want to know more, it's for people living with HIV which includes family and friends!) log on this web site.

    It's nice you're giving him unconditional support. Like I said, it is a manageable disease but, unfortunately, it carries a stigma which can be far worse than the virus itself. Just being there (cyber-speaking) is important.