Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Sleepless In Europe

Another week is moving along and with it the season is just around the corner. I'm excited and waiting to get underway.

I have to admit that lately I have been going around with a good feeling inside my heart, can't really explain it or do I have a specific reason for it, but that's just the way I feel.

The weird part is that at the same time I have been having real sleeping problems. I mean, it's not that I sleep 2 hours a night or something, but i'm waking up really early and can't get more than 5 hours of sleep at night.

I can't really explain it, I feel great pyshically, we have been working hard, but i'm handling it, the weight room and all the other things don't bother me too much. I make it back home real tired but still.

Guess there is something on my mind, can't put my finger on it, just know that it's a very weird situation. I can truly say that since the last summer I continued to devople, nothing practical has happened, but I feel like a different person.

Much easier going, feeling much more comfortable, reading more about "my world" and things of that nature. Of course all those things are things that are in the inside and not towards the outside world, but I believe this is the first step.

On the weekend I sat down and read a little about teenage suicide, especially the one's of Justin Aaberg and Jamey Rodemeyer, I'm almost sure that I mentioned this before, but this was a lot to take in.

I found myself in tears reading about them and about everything that transpired, we all know how cruel kids can be towards others, especially those who stand out in a crowd and are easy targets to pick on and get good reactions from the crowd around them.

I do wonder if the suicide is just because of the bullying or if there is more to the subject. Of course I didn't know any of those precious kids, but I'm sure that having to deal with being gay is something that is always hard, especially at a age like that.

Together with the bullying might just be too much, it's really so sad, kids taking their own life at an age like that, just writing about it makes my body shiver.

I know that this is life and that bullying will always be around and that younger kids are always more vulnerable, but it's hard to take in, along with the large number of kids that get rejected by their parents just because they are LGBT youth.

I guess it's just the way of the universe to remind us that we live in a cruel world where there is no real justice and life is far from perfect. We only wish that the good guys will always prevail but guess it's not meant to be, at least not in our world.


  1. Your very last sentence made me think of this song:

  2. Your empathy for these folks is really admirable. It is so sad to watch these bullying stories unfold. Is this what is keeping you up at night? Sometimes we just need a little less sleep, but if you are worried, or stressed, continue writing out your feelings or talk to someone, it might help.