Hey Again
Nothing special or really life changing on my mind, just a thought that came to my head today,as it has been quite a lot lately.
Just drove around today, as I do every day and every week just like all of us. Standing in the traffic light, saw a really cute and good looking guy waiting to cross the street with his boyfriend or just a friend.
Didn't exactly get out of the car and ask him, but it was obvious. Anyway that really cute guy got me thinking. Guess like a lot of Gays in the closet that are sex deprived, I find myself limited to taking glimpse of hot guys when I get the chance.
The strongest feeling I get after I see a cute guy with his partner, gay or straight is loneliness, Don't know what it brings others to feel, but seeing people that get the chance to experience life as a couple is hard for me to see.
Guess it basically makes me jealous, really jealous, no one wants to be after the age of 20 and with no real relationships, sure sex is fun, specially when it doesn't happen all to much.
Though I can't say that sex is what's on my mind, I really think it's just having someone to be with and share my life with, from sex to eating together, to just spending time with each other
I guess it's a conversation for another time, how I see my life down the road. Still having a lot of years of basketball to go, I can't really guess or imagine what the future will bring in this department, only time will tell.
Wow, this post turned out more serious then I first expected, usually when I sit down and write I usually know more or less where things will go and what to write, this time it just came out on it's own.
On another note I got to say that the blogging world I found is just crazy, and I mean that in a good way, I'm trying to read a new blog every other day, or when time allows it.
I started out with two and I'm just trying to read as many as I can, enjoying reading blogs of people who follow mine or just anything that seems interesting,
Have only warm words for all those blogging and trying to tell the story that is their life story, I hope that it gives others a good feeling, just like I get from mine.
Have a great weekend....
It's interesting- I guess I usually find myself interested in the dynamics of relationship when I see a couple (cute) guys together. If they just started dating- just friends- whatever.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you about blog land- there is so many interesting and often entertaining blogs out there- i find myself jumping from different ones- and kind of getting lost exploring it once in a while.
Keep up the posts- I enjoy yours.
Hey Baller,
ReplyDeleteI think it's natural to feel a bit lonely or envious seeing something or someone who has what you are striving for.
I've had similar thoughts on seeing a cute guy or a couple, regardless of the perceived orientation. It's important to remind yourself that you are seeing the other couple as you ultimately want to be seen. You are not seeing the warts and the baggage the couple is hiding from the world.
The grass isn't always greener.
I am transitioning out of a twelve year relationship and my ex and I used to make our single friends feel envious from time to time, but all wasn't roses and sweetness for us.
But I digress.
When you are ready to take the plunge into relationship-hood, it will be the right time. Meanwhile, keep enjoyin the eye candy out there!
Yes, I felt jealousy when I saw other couples before I met my husband. It's a natural human emotion. And it is the wanting someone to cuddle with, talk to, share your life with more than wanting sex. I hope that you can find it, or have it find you, when the time is right.
ReplyDeleteI've figured out what it is I want....Whatever I don't have!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, being closeted leads to it's own sets of predicaments
and you describe one of them. You'll find the balance your ready for
when your ready for it and when you get more comfortable, perhaps you'll take a friendship to another level if it's the right person? Who knows, never say never. Good post though, been there for sure.
yea i def know what ur talking a bout. It was so hard for me to see my crush aaron around his gf all the time last year.... and just in general when I see people in relationships I really wish i had that too. I'm looking for the relationship even more so than sex, but i'm not even sure where to start...
ReplyDeleteitd be way easier if i wanted to go have sex w/ a bunch of guys.
hope you have a good day and take care. you'll find a bf eventually
i agree with you. as i've hit my late 20's, i've started to understand why some guys move to the 'gay part' of so many cities, even if i've been really turned off by the idea of gay bars so far.
ReplyDeleteat times it gets old living in a conservative part of a conservative city, constantly surrounded by tons of great looking dudes everywhere, and realizing that virtually none of them are realistic prospects. i feel like i sit at bars and coffee shops sometimes when i'm feeling lonely just looking around and wondering if there's a single person like me looking for the same thing. guess thats why they call it the closet.
great post, keep em coming.