Thursday, January 21, 2010

Coming Out To My Family - Part Two

Hey everyone, it's time to get to business and finish what I started.

I ended the last post by telling you that I had just got home from my vacation, and I came back with a clear thought in mind,coming out to my parents. Just to set the record straight (for one time only) i will tell you I have one brother in my family which is younger then me, but not by too many years.

So since I got back home I was trying to think how and when to do it and tell my parents, I was having thoughts 24/7 of what will be and what will change and how my life would be from there on out. I believe my thoughts were divided to two parts.

On the one side thinking rationally I believed that my parents love me and will accept me and who i am with no conditions and no second thoughts. On the other side, I heard like everyone else all the stories about kids being turned away by their parents for being gay,

I think the my biggest fear was that if I was barely accepting myself as a gay person, how can i expect my parents to do so. I had the worst thoughts and it was just a lot of nervous and tension building up towards "the moment of truth".

The D day came and i decided to tell my parents when they get back from work, I told them that I needed to talk to them about something when they get home, now usually I don't have those kinds of requests, so I guess they already knew it was something important.

I was nervous as hell while i waited for them to get home, when they finally did we sat down and I started talking,
I could barely finish a couple of sentences, i was getting really emotional (trying not to say I was crying) but I told them that it's something that I didn't chose and that is the reality of my life and some more things along that line that i don't really remember.

My parents were A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, they said that they don't care, that they just want me to be happy and that they love me no matter what or who I am. I know it sounds too simple or too easy, but that was the case, I was all emotional and they were just trying 2 reassure me that they love me no matter what and just tried to give me a good feeling.

All my worries and all the bad and "scary" thoughts I had disappeared in a second and it was like I just got rid of some extra pounds that were sitting on my shoulders.

Later in the week i told my brother,but that wasn't to difficult since I already told my parents which was the most important and scary part for me,

I think that me not fully accepting myself was reflecting on the thoughts I had towards my parents, cause when you don't accept yourself and feel different and not just as "normal" as everyone else you can't expect the others to do so. For sometime after I think I was still not sure if my parents really felt the same way they reacted or they just tried to make me feel better, but not long after I just knew that it was true.

Since then the subject doesn't come up to much, just because it's something that is natural, just as if i were straight. I feel that I can tell them anything I feel like, and if they hear anything interesting or worth mentioning on the subject they feel free to tell me also,

Looking back now I think that mom's usually can sense or at least think in that direction, lets call it a mother's intuition, I also think not having a steady girlfriend probably give them ideas, even though I'm pretty sure they didn't know until I told them.

As for my brother, we get along great and i feel free to tell him when I'm having a bad time or just when there is something interesting or funny on the subject, he has been amazing and it's plenty of fun.

All in all I have to say that the coming out part went much better then I could ever think, I did think at some point that If I would have told them a few years back maybe it would have saved me a couple years of worrying, but I really believe it's something that needs to happen just when a person, in this case me, feels ready for it, so I guess that was the time.

Unfortunately i know that parents don't always react that way and until this day anytime I read or hear of anything like that it gives me a real bad feeling.

I can sum it all up by just saying that I appreciate my family and I'm happy that they are the one's I call my parents, and of course i won't leave out my younger brother which is also OK...hahaha

Guess that's it for this subject, I will always look back at a smile at that trip and those two guys I met that brought me to tell my Family.

I appreciate the emails and the comments and you can feel free to ask or wonder when ever you feel like it.....


  1. wow!! that wasnt what i was expecting. glad it went so well for you. p/s, delete some emails from your Inbox, it is full :)

  2. agree with john... wasn't sure i really saw that coming. but it is wonderful and so important to have the support of those closest to you- i'm sure it helps knowing that you can talk to them- even if you aren't able to be open like you may want to in the other areas of your life.

  3. It is great that it went so well. There is just no way to know until you tell them. As a gay man who came out to his parents, who handled it well, and as a father, I really can't understand a family rejecting a child, really for any reason. But it happens too often. Glad that yours were so great and are still supportive.

  4. Hi There,

    I just wanted to say your story was weirdly like my own. Although I am not a basketball player of any sorts but my coming out was just like you.. Telling my parents was one of the scariest things ever but the funny thing was they were great about it.. My dad even made jokes about it.. I think secretly he loves having a gay son.. ha ha ha.. He's British and goes to the pub with pals and he is always boasting about me.. its honestly the most oddest thing ever.

    I am 27 now and came out at 21.. and i am sure like you.. you feel relieved that one chapter is closed and you're moving forward.. Anyways.. had to say love your blog. Its fun to read while at work. Keep it up and hope you can come out to the sports world.. we need more openly gay athletes.