Friday, April 2, 2010

Gay Pride


I should of put a post up yesterday, it was April fools, but my timing was a little off, but I guess that's life :)

Anyway since the moment has passed, I will move on to bigger and better things. Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend and is getting ready for the final four tomorrow, I decided to go with Michigan State against Duke in the finals, I will find out tomorrow if for a change my guess is also a little educated.

Since the summer is coming up and it's around the time where most of the states in the USA hold the annual gay pride, I thought about writing in the subject a little bit, more about the parade itself. I have never attended one, but I have read about and heard about some of them.

The subject of gay pride brings me to a question that I ask myself and can't really be sure what the "right" answer is, the question of what the parade itself wants to accomplish and does it?.

On one side it's very important and even very heart warming to see everyone go out to the street, to show their presences and to show that we are here and we have our rights and our wishes.

On the other hand, my real question is, don't we want as a gay community want to be accepted as equals, as people that have the same rights and same thoughts and wishes of all other communities, gay or straight?.

I mean, if we just want to be accepted as a part of the regular society and be looked at as just another person that has his own preferences aren't we missing that target by holding the parade, that same parade that brings us off as different than everyone else, as a community that doesn't want to blend in, but rather a community that wants to be seen as different?.

I'm aware of all the things the gay community has had to overcome to get to a situation that it can march proudly and be heard and show that it's not going to give up, be put back in the closet or give anyone a opportunity to take advantage and step all over them.

That just makes my dilemma a lot stronger, heck, I'm for sure happy to see cute and good looking guys wear almost nothing and just in general see everyone dancing and having fun.

I do realize that those weekends have more then just the parade, they remember those who died a long the way from aids with aids quilts, they have parents of kids who were killed because they are gay be heard and just give a opportunity to gay families to come out and enjoy myself.

I guess I'm just trying to ask if in all those events is the parade itself something that doesn't serve the gay community but rather driftes them away from the chance to be looked at not as different, but as a part of the whole community.

Maybe I got it all wrong and most leaders of the gay community don't want to be looked at as everyone else is looked, but to have the gay community stand out and have it's own place.

I don't have an answer that I'm sure is the right one, I can't even say that I have a answer that isn't complicated or isn't somewhere in the middle of both sides, I guess it's not an easy question or a easy situation to pick sides.

I would be happy to hear from anyone that feels like responding in the comments and offer more opinions and more sides to this question.

Thought it would be nice to finish with a song that's related to gay pride :

When I'm alone
and you're away
I just close my eyes
and I drift away
your warm body
is what I'm without
I just close my eyes
and I dream about

Pretty boys and pretty girls
pretty boys and pretty girls
(when I'm without)
pretty boys
(I dream about)
pretty girls

Strangers in the night
exchanging glances
but sex is dangerous
I don't take my chances
the boys I meet
say I look lonely
but I just walk on my
because they're only


  1. good post and a question ...... what do you think of your former NBA Team's chances in the upcoming playoffs sir !

  2. I don't think that the parades make us look so different, as they are a way to celebrate our community. Kinda like the parades for the Irish on St. Patrick's Day - I'm partly Irish and can celebrate that, but also still be gay, American, etc. I can also was in awe when I marched in the San Francisco parade in 1990 after moving to Northern California from a small town in Georgia. I had never seen so many gays and lesbians before and really did feel pride in our community. I bought a poster of two guys enbracing while holding the American flag with the caption "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness" that I had framed and is still on my wall 20 years later. So there are always new people at each parade who can feel that awe and sense of community.

  3. I like what green & purple said re: St Patty's Day parades. I also think of it kind of like Canada's approach to a multicultural society - salad bowl vs. the US's metaphor of a melting pot. In a salad, everything's still unique, but it comes together well. In a melting pot, those of us who are different are encouraged to stop being so weird, just be like everyone else!

    Pride is really amazing - I've been to SF pride a number of times, and just started going to one in my new small town. Pictures and even video just don't capture the swelling of happiness and affection that comes out when something like a PFLAG float comes by - it's an LGBT island, and knowing that you're accepted by everyone there is really powerful. After a few years in the Bay Area, I and many of my friends started to take Pride for granted - figting the traffic wasn't worth it for us to go. But knowing that it was there was still great, and knowing that it's there for all the people who aren't yet jaded is wonderful. I'm way more pro-Pride now that I'm in a small town.

    I agree that there may be some people whose intolerance gets revved up after seeing 2 guys kiss on a float, but that's why most of the meaningful change on gay rights comes when people know someone queer personally - a parade isn't going to sway anyone who's still deciding whether we're icky or not, but they're not who it's for.

  4. I agree with Alice and G&P. Pride was very important to me the first years I was out and those of us who live in tolerant locales may get jaded and may feel assimilated. However, there are always folks either Not living in a tolerant place or just coming out where a Pride Parade is a thrill.

    I bet you will have a new perspective on this when you attend one. I hope you can do so very soon.

  5. I agree with you. It is a difficult question, although it seems assimilation has more power in the long run than perpetuating differences. I understand what Norcal Sam said about the differences between certain places where people live. When extreme intolerance exists, it is sometimes necessary for the minority to exert it's presence in a desire to feel included. There comes a time when assimilation must take precedence. As 'gay neighborhoods' are slowly dissolving people are realizing gay culture is more of subculture and does not represent everyone who finds themselves attracted to people of the same sex. Leading by example rather than words and parades is the route I opt to take. Unfortunately part of the reason I choose to do so at this point of my life is because of the stereotype carried by the word 'gay' and how it does not define anything I am a part of (again, nothing against the way others choose to live their lives), and in some ways I feel as though it minimalizes what I have done and what I am capable of. At the same time, I'm happy to be attracted to men, and would never duck questions about my interests or relationships if asked. Just another perspective.