I just started thinking about the first time that something happened with a friend, I mean something that pointed me in the direction that I do have an attraction to man.
I remember as a kid, I guess around 14 that me and a good friend had a tendency to fight a lot, I mean almost every day we would just go at it on the floor in his house or mine.
I remember how we both liked it and how much we liked when we got to the part that someone was on the floor and the other one, that being either me or him would be the one sitting on top.
Now of course we didn't intended to do anything or neither did we know too much of what we were doing, but I remember that both of us liked it, it was a great feeling, feeling someone so close to you, both on the level of physicality and also on the level of a good friend that I cared about deeply and he felt the same.
Now we had stages later on that we would do this "fighting bid" in my or his room, again with all our cloth on, just feeling each other and trying to enjoy it.
I think back to those times, I feel bad sometimes that neither of us did more, maybe because we didn't want to or maybe because we didn't know how to.
I also think that none of us wanted to really admit what was going on in his mind and what we really felt and wanted. I admit that we did see each other naked, but nothing happened besides the natural look from one another, or maybe natural in this case.
I haven't kept in touch with that friend for a lot of years, I don't know what's going on with him, the most I do know is that he is alive, GF? Married? No clue, be interesting to know if he is gay, even though I think that today I wouldn't do too much with that, but I guess I and you will never know.
It might of helped both of us during our younger years to cope, to understand that it's ok to have those feelings and it doesn't make you any less of a person, but I guess that was just too soon for both of us.
Hope you are enjoying your weekend…
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Still Far Away
Hey Everyone, another week has gone by and after my birthday party, the real life resumes, jk.
Hope everyone is enjoying the winter and probably the snow that is coming with it. I actually like the snow, I always feel like a kid when I go outside and see the snow piling up and the beautiful white picture that comes along with it.
On a different subject, I must say that even thought I know I still have a long way to go before I come out and retire from basketball I had a couple of thoughts on the subject of friends this week.
I went to eat lunch with a teammate that is also a good friend; we do this about once a week more or less. I was thinking what would happen if I told him, not in the sense that I was close to saying anything, but I was just playing it out in my head.
Now the thing is I know he is a good friend, and I care about him, it’s not that I have a special physical attraction to him, but I do enjoy his company and he is a good dude and some one that is important to me.
The thing is I see how he talks about the gay issue, how he is just like all the others that mention the “NO HOMO” comment in every situation that you can bring it up, and that everything that might look not manly is rewarded with the word GAY.
I know that a lot if not most basketball players are homophobic, first of all because it’s a macho sport and secondly just like a lot of different people they are always worried that they might have an inch of gayness in them.
Otherwise why would they be bothered by something that they know isn’t related or isn’t a possibility for them? Since I don’t have any plans to come out soon this usually doesn’t come up, also in our world and profession you don’t play too many years with the same guys and usually each one goes his own way and you lose track of one another.
I have met a couple of guys during my career that were genuinely open minded and accepting, not of me, but of the situations in life. I picked that up during trips, meals and a lot of conversations that I had with them and that teammates had with them also.
However I have to admit that it disappoints me, if not hurts me a little bit that people that I truly care about talk or behave this way, like being gay is a disease or so wrong. I know it also has a lot to do with where they grew up and what they know and I have to accept it.
I believe, or better yet, I want to believe that those people who I consider my friends will accept me as I am when time comes. However I can truly say that if they won’t I will be somewhat disappointed but I will move on.
I will know that my family accepts me and I accept myself and who ever really cares about me will do the same, if not, then guess they don’t deserve a place in my life.
It’s so far from me right now, but for some reason it came to mind this week, I can pretty much guarantee that the friends I have now won’t be the friends I have when it’s time to come out.
Basketball and the places I and others play change all the time. None the less it will be interesting to see what the reactions will be when time comes; in the meanwhile I will just focus on my game and keep the rest to myself.
Hope everyone is enjoying the winter and probably the snow that is coming with it. I actually like the snow, I always feel like a kid when I go outside and see the snow piling up and the beautiful white picture that comes along with it.
On a different subject, I must say that even thought I know I still have a long way to go before I come out and retire from basketball I had a couple of thoughts on the subject of friends this week.
I went to eat lunch with a teammate that is also a good friend; we do this about once a week more or less. I was thinking what would happen if I told him, not in the sense that I was close to saying anything, but I was just playing it out in my head.
Now the thing is I know he is a good friend, and I care about him, it’s not that I have a special physical attraction to him, but I do enjoy his company and he is a good dude and some one that is important to me.
The thing is I see how he talks about the gay issue, how he is just like all the others that mention the “NO HOMO” comment in every situation that you can bring it up, and that everything that might look not manly is rewarded with the word GAY.
I know that a lot if not most basketball players are homophobic, first of all because it’s a macho sport and secondly just like a lot of different people they are always worried that they might have an inch of gayness in them.
Otherwise why would they be bothered by something that they know isn’t related or isn’t a possibility for them? Since I don’t have any plans to come out soon this usually doesn’t come up, also in our world and profession you don’t play too many years with the same guys and usually each one goes his own way and you lose track of one another.
I have met a couple of guys during my career that were genuinely open minded and accepting, not of me, but of the situations in life. I picked that up during trips, meals and a lot of conversations that I had with them and that teammates had with them also.
However I have to admit that it disappoints me, if not hurts me a little bit that people that I truly care about talk or behave this way, like being gay is a disease or so wrong. I know it also has a lot to do with where they grew up and what they know and I have to accept it.
I believe, or better yet, I want to believe that those people who I consider my friends will accept me as I am when time comes. However I can truly say that if they won’t I will be somewhat disappointed but I will move on.
I will know that my family accepts me and I accept myself and who ever really cares about me will do the same, if not, then guess they don’t deserve a place in my life.
It’s so far from me right now, but for some reason it came to mind this week, I can pretty much guarantee that the friends I have now won’t be the friends I have when it’s time to come out.
Basketball and the places I and others play change all the time. None the less it will be interesting to see what the reactions will be when time comes; in the meanwhile I will just focus on my game and keep the rest to myself.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Happy Birthday
Well, I guess I should wish myself a happy birthday, or at least to my blog, it’s one year old. Still innocent, cute and sure that the world will turn out fine, little does he know.
I don’t want to make this my post of the week, and I wouldn’t write about it if not for the fact that in the beginning I didn’t really know where this blog was going and I wasn’t sure that I would make it a year, but I did.
I just wanted to say that I feel great to have this tool to speak my mind and hear from others, something that I didn’t think possible before. I have met a lot of new friends, even if it’s email buddies.
I have been exposed to a lot of knowledge about the gay community and the gay world that I wouldn’t have been exposed to if not for this blog.
I can honestly say that this blog changed me and helped me develop as a person and as a gay individual, I also got the chance to get things that were on my mind in to the open and it sure did feel great.
So again, thanks to all of you that are following and let me into your little internet world, thanks for those posting comments and for those emailing me, it’s a real pleasure and hope to see you on the blogs next birthday also.
I don’t want to make this my post of the week, and I wouldn’t write about it if not for the fact that in the beginning I didn’t really know where this blog was going and I wasn’t sure that I would make it a year, but I did.
I just wanted to say that I feel great to have this tool to speak my mind and hear from others, something that I didn’t think possible before. I have met a lot of new friends, even if it’s email buddies.
I have been exposed to a lot of knowledge about the gay community and the gay world that I wouldn’t have been exposed to if not for this blog.
I can honestly say that this blog changed me and helped me develop as a person and as a gay individual, I also got the chance to get things that were on my mind in to the open and it sure did feel great.
So again, thanks to all of you that are following and let me into your little internet world, thanks for those posting comments and for those emailing me, it’s a real pleasure and hope to see you on the blogs next birthday also.
Monday, January 3, 2011
The Less Fortunate
Hey again, hope everyone enjoyed their new year weekend, hope you went out, partied, got a little drunk ( or not), but just enjoyed yourself.
I wouldn't mind having a night out on the town, well at town where I can be gay and there are a lot of available young blond guys which just happened to be gay.
Instead of that, I enjoyed playing five on five and working on our full court press, you got to say that sounds much better, and instead of Ice in my drink I had some on my knees, but that's way cooler isn't it? And I mean that in every sense of the word.
As for new years, since I don't enjoy going out to straight parties, I said this before, I just don't like being in a place that I don't have anything to really do, besides making sure that no girl hits on me or sends her friend to talk to me.
Instead I just went to a restaurant with a teammate and his wife and called it a night, the only thing I was kissing as 2011 came in was this screen, since I was finishing up another post, my latest one.
Regarding that, I just read the comment left by gp, to sum it up he said "we should do everything possible to avoid internalizing the anti-gay bigotry of society at large. We shouldn't think for a minute that there's anything wrong, sinful or immoral about being gay". That was about me writing about kids that their only sin was being gay.
I'm always happy to get as many comments as possible and I think that we might have misunderstood each other. For me it was just the same as writing that someone’s only sin is loving chocolate, it doesn't mean that it’s really a sin , or it's something bad, but just that it’s something that's different.
To make a larger point, a point that I mentioned in my last post, I go back to what I said about being gay as being different. I know it might not be popular to say, BUT, you can’t deny that being gay is not the normal thing in society and that being gay is a deviation from the "social norm.
I never said it means that being gay means that you aren't as good or that you aren't worthy to receive everything that a straight person does, but just to say that it's different, if it wasn't than 40-50 % of the world would be gay and not 8-10 % of it.
My point is that we are looked at as different than others, and rightly so in the matter of putting it to the simple meaning of things. Just like being left handed as my friend gp mentioned is a deviation from the norm (8-15 % of adults are left handed). What society does with it and the way they treat gay men and women, well that's a whole different story.
Last time out I talked about young girls and boys that are gay and the bullying they have to deal with. Something which follows with cases of suicide sadly enough. However there are still more problems in that same youth, a lot of times we talk about the treatment they receive outside of their homes, but there is also a big problem inside the homes.
I got the chance to speak, online that is with a couple of guys that their family threw out of the house because they found out they were gay. It was hard to hear and it was a conversation which I couldn't find any words of support to give, because if you can't rely on the people that gave you life and are the most valuable thing in the world, then who can you rely on?
I could only find a large publication from 2007 that says that 42 % of the homeless youth is gay, which is pretty hard to accept when knowing what percentage of the population gays are.
Trying to put things in context, I guess the point is that being different is something that people can't handle, it's not that I'm discovering anything new over here, but I guess that people just can't cope with it. A lot of families can't accept even their own kids because they didn’t turn out like they wanted.
I mentioned that I'm lucky to have a great family that loves me just the same even though I like guys, and blonds in particular :)
but to be serious, ignorance is a problem and it falls mostly on the gay subject, but there are a lot of people that are ignorant about a lot of matters and they take the different and the minority and try to "convert them" or deal with them in a matter that will give them quite and won't "harm" their way of living.
I don't know how it is to be homeless and I hope that no one I know will, but again, it breaks my heart and it's just hard to accept the kind of world we live in. Being homeless in general is a terrible thing and a lot of families find themselves in the streets because of the economic situation and financial problems, but being kids and getting thrown out because of a sexual preference, something that most of us don't chose, but is chosen for us? That’s just too much for me to handle.
As time progress and I keep writing those posts I get a stronger feeling that I would eventually want to volunteer and help those less fortunate than me. I don't know when or where, but I hope to keep my word, to myself, and do something, even small that could help.
For you out there that are volunteering and helping out kids, adults, gay, straight or both, I can only show my appreciation and my admiration of what you do and how you help. I'm sure you go home in the end of the day and feel good about yourself, and a lot of times that's much more than making another pay check or getting another rise.
I found myself lately writing much more about emotional things and less about sports related issue. I know that this is a blog about my life as a gay basketball player, but I feel sometimes that it's a privilege to share with you other things on my mind, so I just go for it.
Take care and have a nice week.
I wouldn't mind having a night out on the town, well at town where I can be gay and there are a lot of available young blond guys which just happened to be gay.
Instead of that, I enjoyed playing five on five and working on our full court press, you got to say that sounds much better, and instead of Ice in my drink I had some on my knees, but that's way cooler isn't it? And I mean that in every sense of the word.
As for new years, since I don't enjoy going out to straight parties, I said this before, I just don't like being in a place that I don't have anything to really do, besides making sure that no girl hits on me or sends her friend to talk to me.
Instead I just went to a restaurant with a teammate and his wife and called it a night, the only thing I was kissing as 2011 came in was this screen, since I was finishing up another post, my latest one.
Regarding that, I just read the comment left by gp, to sum it up he said "we should do everything possible to avoid internalizing the anti-gay bigotry of society at large. We shouldn't think for a minute that there's anything wrong, sinful or immoral about being gay". That was about me writing about kids that their only sin was being gay.
I'm always happy to get as many comments as possible and I think that we might have misunderstood each other. For me it was just the same as writing that someone’s only sin is loving chocolate, it doesn't mean that it’s really a sin , or it's something bad, but just that it’s something that's different.
To make a larger point, a point that I mentioned in my last post, I go back to what I said about being gay as being different. I know it might not be popular to say, BUT, you can’t deny that being gay is not the normal thing in society and that being gay is a deviation from the "social norm.
I never said it means that being gay means that you aren't as good or that you aren't worthy to receive everything that a straight person does, but just to say that it's different, if it wasn't than 40-50 % of the world would be gay and not 8-10 % of it.
My point is that we are looked at as different than others, and rightly so in the matter of putting it to the simple meaning of things. Just like being left handed as my friend gp mentioned is a deviation from the norm (8-15 % of adults are left handed). What society does with it and the way they treat gay men and women, well that's a whole different story.
Last time out I talked about young girls and boys that are gay and the bullying they have to deal with. Something which follows with cases of suicide sadly enough. However there are still more problems in that same youth, a lot of times we talk about the treatment they receive outside of their homes, but there is also a big problem inside the homes.
I got the chance to speak, online that is with a couple of guys that their family threw out of the house because they found out they were gay. It was hard to hear and it was a conversation which I couldn't find any words of support to give, because if you can't rely on the people that gave you life and are the most valuable thing in the world, then who can you rely on?
I could only find a large publication from 2007 that says that 42 % of the homeless youth is gay, which is pretty hard to accept when knowing what percentage of the population gays are.
Trying to put things in context, I guess the point is that being different is something that people can't handle, it's not that I'm discovering anything new over here, but I guess that people just can't cope with it. A lot of families can't accept even their own kids because they didn’t turn out like they wanted.
I mentioned that I'm lucky to have a great family that loves me just the same even though I like guys, and blonds in particular :)
but to be serious, ignorance is a problem and it falls mostly on the gay subject, but there are a lot of people that are ignorant about a lot of matters and they take the different and the minority and try to "convert them" or deal with them in a matter that will give them quite and won't "harm" their way of living.
I don't know how it is to be homeless and I hope that no one I know will, but again, it breaks my heart and it's just hard to accept the kind of world we live in. Being homeless in general is a terrible thing and a lot of families find themselves in the streets because of the economic situation and financial problems, but being kids and getting thrown out because of a sexual preference, something that most of us don't chose, but is chosen for us? That’s just too much for me to handle.
As time progress and I keep writing those posts I get a stronger feeling that I would eventually want to volunteer and help those less fortunate than me. I don't know when or where, but I hope to keep my word, to myself, and do something, even small that could help.
For you out there that are volunteering and helping out kids, adults, gay, straight or both, I can only show my appreciation and my admiration of what you do and how you help. I'm sure you go home in the end of the day and feel good about yourself, and a lot of times that's much more than making another pay check or getting another rise.
I found myself lately writing much more about emotional things and less about sports related issue. I know that this is a blog about my life as a gay basketball player, but I feel sometimes that it's a privilege to share with you other things on my mind, so I just go for it.
Take care and have a nice week.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Here We Go Again
Hey to all my friends out there, before we talk about 2010 and the future that has yet to come, I just noticed that soon enough I will
be celebrating my own birthday, in around ten days this blog will be a year old. I didn't think it would last so long, but little did I know.
I will have more on that once the birthday is around the corner, you are all invited to the party.
Well, this last year has been a significant one to the gay community, with the latest news, the repeal of DADT that was for sure the event of the year.
Through the courts decision to decide against proposition 8, through small local events that happened all year long, along with President Obama true intent to help the gay community and their rights.
It really is a step in the right direction, I know and all of you know that there is still a lot more to do, but just the news and the fact that there is will to do things and change things puts a smile on my face. I hope the next move will be allowing gay couples to marry all over the country, well we have a whole year for that, don't we ?
I must say that even though I'm gay, I usually didn't spend to much time following those events and the events and the struggles of the gay community, thanks to this blog I meet some friends who helped me be more informed and helped me be on top of things, and for that I'm grateful.
I have been going through a process in the last years of my life, a process of accepting myself and living in peace with myself, even though I'm gay. I always admit that I'm not all the way there yet, but I'm a much better person and have a much better feeling about myself than I used to have.
I'm not someone who believes that every person that says something offensive towards the gay community should be stoned and hung. I don't think that every issue needs to be fought and every subject brought up to discussion, cause in someways we also want to be looked at as normal and part of the human race.
Gladly enough there were a lot of good fights that the gay community took part in this year and for this I'm glad, like I said, I won't be in the first line of the protests and I won't be carrying signs, but I will always be hoping.
In my heart I always carry with me the thought of young girls or boys, that there only sin in life is being gay. I always hope that the world will be a little brighter for them, a little better, a little more tolerant, I just want them to experience love and to feel good with themselves. I want them to be able to live life to the fullest, whether they live in the USA, Europe, Or god knows where.
I guess what I'm saying is that I just want them to feel they way that I didn't when I was growing up. The way a lot of other guys my age and older than me didn't feel when they were young. I know that we have ways to go, but that Innocent boy or that innocent girl deserve to be just like everyone else, to be young and happy just like any normal kid.
I know that being gay is different, I know it's not like everyone else, and in someway it's not the norm, but no one said that being different is wrong, that being different is not OK, that being different should get you punished in life.
I know the statistics of young girls and boys commuting suicide because of their sexual preferences and it breaks my heart, to read that More than 1/3 of LGB youth report having made a suicide attempts leaves me speechless.
There are so many ignorant people out there, that bully others and try to take their frustrations on others that sometimes its just too much to handle. I know I cant do much and that hurts me, I'm writing this and my whole body is shivering, sadly enough we live in a world that isn't far and that's the harsh reality.
I really wish there was something that I could do and I do think about it. Maybe if I do come out and even one kid that will understand that being gay doesn't mean you can't succeed in life and can't make your dreams come true it would be worth it, but for now It's just too much to lose.
It's disappointing to say, but there isn't been any change in the team sports area, I mean, no new gay comers or no stories that are pointing to a new direction, but that's life and I will deal with it as we move on.
Anyway, it's still a new year and we don't want to get all depressed. So I really wish everyone a happy new year, I hope 2011 will be great for all of you.
I hope that everyone will be happy in his personal life, that the gay community will continue to achieve new and great things for all of us. I hope that we will all meet here next year, happy and content with our own lives.
Just before I finish, I really ask from all of you to appreciate the good things in life, we are all ambitious and want more, but we can't forget what we have right now. Tell all those close to you that they are important to you and that you appreciate their presence in your life. For all of us who haven't found that yet, I hope 2011 will bring news in this department also.
I know that most of the readers don't comment on my posts and just read, but I would be happy if we could just wish each other a happy new year, I will be the first to give it a go, and I hope that you will follow me.
HAPPY NEW YEAR....
be celebrating my own birthday, in around ten days this blog will be a year old. I didn't think it would last so long, but little did I know.
I will have more on that once the birthday is around the corner, you are all invited to the party.
Well, this last year has been a significant one to the gay community, with the latest news, the repeal of DADT that was for sure the event of the year.
Through the courts decision to decide against proposition 8, through small local events that happened all year long, along with President Obama true intent to help the gay community and their rights.
It really is a step in the right direction, I know and all of you know that there is still a lot more to do, but just the news and the fact that there is will to do things and change things puts a smile on my face. I hope the next move will be allowing gay couples to marry all over the country, well we have a whole year for that, don't we ?
I must say that even though I'm gay, I usually didn't spend to much time following those events and the events and the struggles of the gay community, thanks to this blog I meet some friends who helped me be more informed and helped me be on top of things, and for that I'm grateful.
I have been going through a process in the last years of my life, a process of accepting myself and living in peace with myself, even though I'm gay. I always admit that I'm not all the way there yet, but I'm a much better person and have a much better feeling about myself than I used to have.
I'm not someone who believes that every person that says something offensive towards the gay community should be stoned and hung. I don't think that every issue needs to be fought and every subject brought up to discussion, cause in someways we also want to be looked at as normal and part of the human race.
Gladly enough there were a lot of good fights that the gay community took part in this year and for this I'm glad, like I said, I won't be in the first line of the protests and I won't be carrying signs, but I will always be hoping.
In my heart I always carry with me the thought of young girls or boys, that there only sin in life is being gay. I always hope that the world will be a little brighter for them, a little better, a little more tolerant, I just want them to experience love and to feel good with themselves. I want them to be able to live life to the fullest, whether they live in the USA, Europe, Or god knows where.
I guess what I'm saying is that I just want them to feel they way that I didn't when I was growing up. The way a lot of other guys my age and older than me didn't feel when they were young. I know that we have ways to go, but that Innocent boy or that innocent girl deserve to be just like everyone else, to be young and happy just like any normal kid.
I know that being gay is different, I know it's not like everyone else, and in someway it's not the norm, but no one said that being different is wrong, that being different is not OK, that being different should get you punished in life.
I know the statistics of young girls and boys commuting suicide because of their sexual preferences and it breaks my heart, to read that More than 1/3 of LGB youth report having made a suicide attempts leaves me speechless.
There are so many ignorant people out there, that bully others and try to take their frustrations on others that sometimes its just too much to handle. I know I cant do much and that hurts me, I'm writing this and my whole body is shivering, sadly enough we live in a world that isn't far and that's the harsh reality.
I really wish there was something that I could do and I do think about it. Maybe if I do come out and even one kid that will understand that being gay doesn't mean you can't succeed in life and can't make your dreams come true it would be worth it, but for now It's just too much to lose.
It's disappointing to say, but there isn't been any change in the team sports area, I mean, no new gay comers or no stories that are pointing to a new direction, but that's life and I will deal with it as we move on.
Anyway, it's still a new year and we don't want to get all depressed. So I really wish everyone a happy new year, I hope 2011 will be great for all of you.
I hope that everyone will be happy in his personal life, that the gay community will continue to achieve new and great things for all of us. I hope that we will all meet here next year, happy and content with our own lives.
Just before I finish, I really ask from all of you to appreciate the good things in life, we are all ambitious and want more, but we can't forget what we have right now. Tell all those close to you that they are important to you and that you appreciate their presence in your life. For all of us who haven't found that yet, I hope 2011 will bring news in this department also.
I know that most of the readers don't comment on my posts and just read, but I would be happy if we could just wish each other a happy new year, I will be the first to give it a go, and I hope that you will follow me.
HAPPY NEW YEAR....
Friday, December 24, 2010
A Very Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas everyone, I would sing you a couple of songs, but I don't want to ruin your holiday. I hope everyone is with his love ones, enjoying some good food and good quality time with the people you care about.
A time like this is maybe just the perfect time to talk about the great achievement of the gay community this week. Of course I'm talking about the repeal of DADT.
It was great news, and something that should have happened a long time ago.
I have a friend that emailed me all through this time and helped me stay in the picture and be on top of things, so I was more excited to hear the news. I read articles from all over the world, in some way it's saddening that it took so long to happen, but like they say, better late than never. President Obama kept his promise and indeed repealed DADT.
My first question was should I enlist now? Since I know the marines are looking for a few good men, but a friend told me that they will find enough soldiers without me helping out. lol.
I wrote about this a couple of months ago, I truly believe that a person that wants to serve his country should be able to do so no matter what, Gay, Black or White.
I also read the big survey that was taken in order to evaluate the willingness of service men to serve along gay men, of course I was happy to see that most guys didn't make a big deal out of it.
On the other hand, it was also naive, even though gay people that were out couldn't join the army, there are so many gay men that aren't out and are in the service, just like everywhere in life. They say that one out of every ten man is gay, so where the hell is everyone? The answer is simple; they are just out there, being a part of the normal world.
Some of them don't want to come out, some rather live a lie and have a straight family, but they are there and they always were. In the army, in sports, in politics, in business.
What just brings me to the point that everyone has served with gay men and everyone knows someone who is gay, even if they don't know for a fact, and I'm sure once they get to now a person and get along with them, they will trust him with their life, even if they find out that he is gay.
I also laughed when I read on the survey about soldiers who are worried that they might have to shower along gay guys. That just shows homophobia in its best and it shows that they also have questions about themselves.
They might worry that something will start "waking up" when they see another guy naked, I can promise them no one will jump them in the shower.
I know that today's post was a little more formal, but I think that this is a real big thing, a real exciting thing and something that people fought for since we all remember ourselves.
It's just another step in accepting that a gay person is entitled to do everything a straight person can do, even serve in the army and be "the best they can be".
I will close this post with a personal story: In one of my vacations, I got the chance to meet a cute guy overseas; he turned out to be American. He also turned out to be a smart, genuine person.
We got to talk a lot and met around three times, when we were talking he told me his dream was to be a pilot and serve in the air force, but he also told me that he couldn't because he was out and wouldn't be recruited because of it.
He went on to tell me that he hopes so deeply and so badly that DADT will be repealed and that he could join the army. Needless to say that we haven't kept in touch, but he was the first one that i was thinking of as I heard the news, I was so happy for him. Happy for someone that can fulfill his dream and the fact that he likes guy's doesn't need to affect his life in any way.
I believe in the sentence that good things happen to good people. SO this post goes out to him, he will never read it and never know about it, but that doesn't change anything in my book.
Next station on our path is DOMA, and then the world, JK...
Merry Christmas to you all my dear friends, don't forget to enjoy the gift of love, along with your partners, May they be gay or straight, black or white. Remember to give them a big kiss on behalf of us who are still waiting to meet the right one.
A time like this is maybe just the perfect time to talk about the great achievement of the gay community this week. Of course I'm talking about the repeal of DADT.
It was great news, and something that should have happened a long time ago.
I have a friend that emailed me all through this time and helped me stay in the picture and be on top of things, so I was more excited to hear the news. I read articles from all over the world, in some way it's saddening that it took so long to happen, but like they say, better late than never. President Obama kept his promise and indeed repealed DADT.
My first question was should I enlist now? Since I know the marines are looking for a few good men, but a friend told me that they will find enough soldiers without me helping out. lol.
I wrote about this a couple of months ago, I truly believe that a person that wants to serve his country should be able to do so no matter what, Gay, Black or White.
I also read the big survey that was taken in order to evaluate the willingness of service men to serve along gay men, of course I was happy to see that most guys didn't make a big deal out of it.
On the other hand, it was also naive, even though gay people that were out couldn't join the army, there are so many gay men that aren't out and are in the service, just like everywhere in life. They say that one out of every ten man is gay, so where the hell is everyone? The answer is simple; they are just out there, being a part of the normal world.
Some of them don't want to come out, some rather live a lie and have a straight family, but they are there and they always were. In the army, in sports, in politics, in business.
What just brings me to the point that everyone has served with gay men and everyone knows someone who is gay, even if they don't know for a fact, and I'm sure once they get to now a person and get along with them, they will trust him with their life, even if they find out that he is gay.
I also laughed when I read on the survey about soldiers who are worried that they might have to shower along gay guys. That just shows homophobia in its best and it shows that they also have questions about themselves.
They might worry that something will start "waking up" when they see another guy naked, I can promise them no one will jump them in the shower.
I know that today's post was a little more formal, but I think that this is a real big thing, a real exciting thing and something that people fought for since we all remember ourselves.
It's just another step in accepting that a gay person is entitled to do everything a straight person can do, even serve in the army and be "the best they can be".
I will close this post with a personal story: In one of my vacations, I got the chance to meet a cute guy overseas; he turned out to be American. He also turned out to be a smart, genuine person.
We got to talk a lot and met around three times, when we were talking he told me his dream was to be a pilot and serve in the air force, but he also told me that he couldn't because he was out and wouldn't be recruited because of it.
He went on to tell me that he hopes so deeply and so badly that DADT will be repealed and that he could join the army. Needless to say that we haven't kept in touch, but he was the first one that i was thinking of as I heard the news, I was so happy for him. Happy for someone that can fulfill his dream and the fact that he likes guy's doesn't need to affect his life in any way.
I believe in the sentence that good things happen to good people. SO this post goes out to him, he will never read it and never know about it, but that doesn't change anything in my book.
Next station on our path is DOMA, and then the world, JK...
Merry Christmas to you all my dear friends, don't forget to enjoy the gift of love, along with your partners, May they be gay or straight, black or white. Remember to give them a big kiss on behalf of us who are still waiting to meet the right one.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Follow Up Post
Hey..
Woke up to see 2 comments, interesting once that I wanted to reply.
First to Jordan, I'm not sure where you are from, but I'm sure there are better places, just by the "sound" of your comment. I got the feeling that the town you are in is not one of the best known for their gay scene.
I don't want it to come around like everywhere I go is just amazing and every gay party has an amazing crowd or special people. There are all kinds of guys and each one likes different guys.
You will always find a lot of feminine guys in the partying scene, they are more outgoing usually and feel they can do what ever they want, and feel like that on the dance floor( which is great). There are also more manly guys and more muscular types, some with too much muscles, at least in my opinion.
Usually you can find a couple of guys that are right up your ally, and some guys who aren't exactly your dream date, but I guess nothing is perfect.
As for the Average Gay Dude, I wanted to email you with an answer, but I don't have your email, so that didn't work out. About experiencing something different.
I guess it comes with time and with a feeling of readiness, even though going to a gay place for the first time is terrifying, it's just something that you have to go through for the first couple of times.
When I went out for the first time, and I wrote about it in my blog, I would get so nervous it was unbelievable, more than any basketball game I ever played, more than anything I ever experienced.
But now, after I have had some experience I just go in there, with a heart bit that is just a little faster, but nothing serious. I'm sure that being around more than two gay guys at a time will take some getting used to.
I have been going out by myself 90% of the times I have gone out, sometimes there were creeps and weirdos that can hassle you a little bit, but you also learn how to avoid them, or just cut things short. basically what I wanted to say is that when you will reach the stage of going out, give yourself a little working room and put your brave hat on and just do it :) .
Last thing I wanted to say is that in the beginning, when I used to go out, I measured my evening on the scale of : getting hit on, getting a yes answer from other guys or finding a guy to end the night with.
As I continued to go out I became wiser, I promised myself to hit on at least two guys that I like each night, doesn't matter if I get a yes or a no, I also promised myself not to be as nice as I usually am, It might sound nasty.
I decided that if i don't like someone who approaches me I can just move on, I don't need to be nice to the whole world. Last but not least, I promised myself to dance, to drink, to enjoy myself and that's the bottom line.
Not every crowd was amazing, not everywhere did I see guys I liked, but almost everywhere I decided to enjoy myself and oddly enough, it only takes one to make that happen...
Woke up to see 2 comments, interesting once that I wanted to reply.
First to Jordan, I'm not sure where you are from, but I'm sure there are better places, just by the "sound" of your comment. I got the feeling that the town you are in is not one of the best known for their gay scene.
I don't want it to come around like everywhere I go is just amazing and every gay party has an amazing crowd or special people. There are all kinds of guys and each one likes different guys.
You will always find a lot of feminine guys in the partying scene, they are more outgoing usually and feel they can do what ever they want, and feel like that on the dance floor( which is great). There are also more manly guys and more muscular types, some with too much muscles, at least in my opinion.
Usually you can find a couple of guys that are right up your ally, and some guys who aren't exactly your dream date, but I guess nothing is perfect.
As for the Average Gay Dude, I wanted to email you with an answer, but I don't have your email, so that didn't work out. About experiencing something different.
I guess it comes with time and with a feeling of readiness, even though going to a gay place for the first time is terrifying, it's just something that you have to go through for the first couple of times.
When I went out for the first time, and I wrote about it in my blog, I would get so nervous it was unbelievable, more than any basketball game I ever played, more than anything I ever experienced.
But now, after I have had some experience I just go in there, with a heart bit that is just a little faster, but nothing serious. I'm sure that being around more than two gay guys at a time will take some getting used to.
I have been going out by myself 90% of the times I have gone out, sometimes there were creeps and weirdos that can hassle you a little bit, but you also learn how to avoid them, or just cut things short. basically what I wanted to say is that when you will reach the stage of going out, give yourself a little working room and put your brave hat on and just do it :) .
Last thing I wanted to say is that in the beginning, when I used to go out, I measured my evening on the scale of : getting hit on, getting a yes answer from other guys or finding a guy to end the night with.
As I continued to go out I became wiser, I promised myself to hit on at least two guys that I like each night, doesn't matter if I get a yes or a no, I also promised myself not to be as nice as I usually am, It might sound nasty.
I decided that if i don't like someone who approaches me I can just move on, I don't need to be nice to the whole world. Last but not least, I promised myself to dance, to drink, to enjoy myself and that's the bottom line.
Not every crowd was amazing, not everywhere did I see guys I liked, but almost everywhere I decided to enjoy myself and oddly enough, it only takes one to make that happen...
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