Hey,
Hope everyone is enjoying the playoffs, in the west everything is just plain crazy, the second and fourth seeded teams or almost eliminated, always good to have some excitement during this time..
I was lying in bed this morning before practice and I just let my mind wonder and waited to see where would it land.
I was thinking about the ultimate thing that I mostly talk about in this blog and mostly think about, and that's finding someone to love, to be together with and to share my life with.
I know that I'm still young and It will take me sometime, mostly because of my career and me not being out, but today I was worrying or thinking about it from another angle.
I can admit that I have never had a realtionship, since I don't count going out twice with someone while on vacation as a realtionship, but more of just having fun.
I can only compare it to a regular friendship, I know that when I meet someone I like, even not in a sexual way, just as a friend or someone I want to hang around.
I feel it very strongly in the beginning of the realtionship, I mean I will go the extra mile to get to know him and to get the chance to be good friends.
Once I reach that point I sometimes feel like I put a V on my target, and from that point on, the friendship is still there, but I don't feel the same way or I don't do too much to keep the realtionship going and I go back to my quite spot and my routine.
What worries me the most, and that's what I was thinking about today was what if it will happen when I meet a guy and the realtionship will be a sexual one.
I mean two gay guys just dating each other, falling in love and all the regular things I think about and wish and I guess most of us do.
Will it just be something that will last for a couple of months, and will I go from loving him and wanting to be with him to just being there cause it's comfortable or just because I used to feel something special for him.
Maybe it will be because I don't want to hurt him and don't want to let him down. I mean, I'm sure that a lot of couples have those worries, whether gay or straight.
I don't know how their realtionship is and what they feel, but I'm just worried that I will want to go back to my shell and that everything I was feeling and thinking towards and about him will disappear.
In some way that scars me, cause maybe that means that I won't have someone that I can share myself and my life with, again, I can't know until it happens, but the way I am with friends makes me think about how I will be with a lover.
I know that in a lot of relationships couples don't stay in love, they just feel good together and enjoy each others company and it becomes a different kind of love.
Not the passionate, the wanting to be together every second love, but rather the love of having each other around and to share their life with each other.
I guess I don't have any other option but to wait and see what it will be like, what I will feel and how long I can feel it with, guess time will tell...
This song talks about loving a woman, but it can easily be meant towards a man, with a change of just one word. The song jumped to my head during warm up today :)
To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know it deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N' give her wings - when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman
When you love a woman you tell her
that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?
p.s - I was asked by Robert about the NBA D- League and my opinion, I think it's a good thing, it gives a lot of young and talent players or players who feel they still need to try and fulfill the NBA dream and are whiling to do what it takes. I know players who play in the D-League, most of them can make more money playing overseas, but they want to be close by and wait for their chance...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Mikey The Hockey Kid
Hey
Just wanted to post a small response to the whole Mikey story
I'm sure that all of you have heard about Mikey the hockey kid's blog, a blog that fascinated a lot of readers and a lot of kids and teenagers to follow and to identify with him.
He got a lot of teenagers to feel like that they have others to trust and count on and that they aren't alone, sadly enough I just read that odds are that Mikey was a hoax.
It's very hard for me to read it, and to think about a man in his 40's that is taking advantage, even if only mentally of young and venerable teenagers that look for role models.
I guess that the world isn't what it needs to be and a lot of times people have their own agenda and they don't care about anyone else. It looks like this is one of those cases, again, if this is really the case.
It was important for me to write this and to say something about myself, I'm not here to convince anyone or to try and make people believe in me and my story.
I just want to say that it took me a long time to be able to get to a situation that I'm sharing things with other people, my thoughts and the things I hold dear and never thought I would tell anyone, I can't prove to you that I'm who I claim to be, I will say it with the simplest words, I'm GAY and I play PRO BASKETBALL
I have heard from a lot of amazing people through out this journey, people that I enjoy to hear from and to read their emails, I can honestly say that it's been the best part of this blog and i just wish it won't change...
I can also add another blogger response to the Mikey's issue : http://www.gayfootballer.com/2010/04/i-am-posting-these-pictures-for-people.html
Take care...
Just wanted to post a small response to the whole Mikey story
I'm sure that all of you have heard about Mikey the hockey kid's blog, a blog that fascinated a lot of readers and a lot of kids and teenagers to follow and to identify with him.
He got a lot of teenagers to feel like that they have others to trust and count on and that they aren't alone, sadly enough I just read that odds are that Mikey was a hoax.
It's very hard for me to read it, and to think about a man in his 40's that is taking advantage, even if only mentally of young and venerable teenagers that look for role models.
I guess that the world isn't what it needs to be and a lot of times people have their own agenda and they don't care about anyone else. It looks like this is one of those cases, again, if this is really the case.
It was important for me to write this and to say something about myself, I'm not here to convince anyone or to try and make people believe in me and my story.
I just want to say that it took me a long time to be able to get to a situation that I'm sharing things with other people, my thoughts and the things I hold dear and never thought I would tell anyone, I can't prove to you that I'm who I claim to be, I will say it with the simplest words, I'm GAY and I play PRO BASKETBALL
I have heard from a lot of amazing people through out this journey, people that I enjoy to hear from and to read their emails, I can honestly say that it's been the best part of this blog and i just wish it won't change...
I can also add another blogger response to the Mikey's issue : http://www.gayfootballer.com/2010/04/i-am-posting-these-pictures-for-people.html
Take care...
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Gay Marriage
Hey
I wanted to rap up the subject I wrote about in my last to posts, talking about kids and marriage, of course all relating to the gay community.
I know that gay marriage is a subject that has been talked a lot about lately from prop 8 to all the states that have legalized gay marriage in the USA.
I wonder about myself first of all, when I will find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, would I want to marry him?.
It's something complected, at least in my opinion, on one side, I would want to commit to the man I love and to show that I'm faithful to him and that I do recognize that we are a couple, which maybe means legalizing it.
On the other hand, since gay couples are just that, gay and not straight, I'm not sure if marriage isn't just a title to a social situation. It's not like someone that is married means that he will be faithful and to be honest without a doubt.
I mean, it's not like they will go to jail if they wont, nowadays there is a much bigger number of marriages that barely hold on or if they do, but not for a long time.
I think that life as we used to know it has changed, people are so driven, so on the move, and life just dishes out new adventures and new temptations every minute and every day. That makes it harder for everyone to "play nice" and keep their commitments.
I think it can show people and couples what their realtionship is made of, if it's something that is meant to be and meant to last, or is it just to satisfy others and society and just play by the rules.
Going back to the gay subject, I mean, if it's just a social thing and not more, then maybe it's not something that I would want to chase and try to achieve.
I would much rather be faithful in sync and happy with the man I love, rather then being married to him and feel that I have to be all that just because I said " I Do".
Again, I don't have a clear answer about what I would do, but I think it's something very subjective which every couple needs to decide for themselves.
Sometimes we the gay community want to be recognized as no different than any one else. Which might mean marriage, but then sometimes we need to face that still things are different and maybe we need to go our own way.
Hearing couples talk about who would be the woman in the relationship and who would be the man, just means that we might be trying to define ourselves with other people's expectations and wishes.
I know that the issue sometimes is more complicated, when there are kids involved, and there might be a need to legalize things. Both for dads or moms to have rights and legal claim for the kids, either one's they have had together or adopting each others kids and it's more then understandable.
In looking at others states in the USA and that in all the states only five I believe legalized same sex marriage, whether in a court ruling or a vote just goes to show you the true colors of the great USA.
I think that besides some states that are more modern and more tolerant towards different communities, in this case gay's, the rest of the US or most of it are states which are stuck in the past.
Those states base themselves a lot on racism towards minority groups, not just gays, but blacks and also other groups.
A lot of those states and people just say that they are following the words of the bible and the lord, but most of us already know that anything you want to justify you can find if you look and try hard enough.
Of course I'm generalizing things, but I do believe that most states have a lot of cities that can't accept others, which doesn't mean that all the people there behave that way, but just a majority or at least the decision makers.
Again, of course that L.A, Boston, San Francisco, NYC, and others are a sign of modern people for the best part and that's mostly what the US shows to the world and the people outside of the country.
I believe that that isn't the true America, but just a part which is put in the front to make the great country out to be something else then it really is, at least in those matters and those subjects and sadly enough those matters are important to a lot of people.
The lyrics of this song, just makes me wonder.....
O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!
O beautiful for pilgrim feet,
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America! God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!
I wanted to rap up the subject I wrote about in my last to posts, talking about kids and marriage, of course all relating to the gay community.
I know that gay marriage is a subject that has been talked a lot about lately from prop 8 to all the states that have legalized gay marriage in the USA.
I wonder about myself first of all, when I will find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, would I want to marry him?.
It's something complected, at least in my opinion, on one side, I would want to commit to the man I love and to show that I'm faithful to him and that I do recognize that we are a couple, which maybe means legalizing it.
On the other hand, since gay couples are just that, gay and not straight, I'm not sure if marriage isn't just a title to a social situation. It's not like someone that is married means that he will be faithful and to be honest without a doubt.
I mean, it's not like they will go to jail if they wont, nowadays there is a much bigger number of marriages that barely hold on or if they do, but not for a long time.
I think that life as we used to know it has changed, people are so driven, so on the move, and life just dishes out new adventures and new temptations every minute and every day. That makes it harder for everyone to "play nice" and keep their commitments.
I think it can show people and couples what their realtionship is made of, if it's something that is meant to be and meant to last, or is it just to satisfy others and society and just play by the rules.
Going back to the gay subject, I mean, if it's just a social thing and not more, then maybe it's not something that I would want to chase and try to achieve.
I would much rather be faithful in sync and happy with the man I love, rather then being married to him and feel that I have to be all that just because I said " I Do".
Again, I don't have a clear answer about what I would do, but I think it's something very subjective which every couple needs to decide for themselves.
Sometimes we the gay community want to be recognized as no different than any one else. Which might mean marriage, but then sometimes we need to face that still things are different and maybe we need to go our own way.
Hearing couples talk about who would be the woman in the relationship and who would be the man, just means that we might be trying to define ourselves with other people's expectations and wishes.
I know that the issue sometimes is more complicated, when there are kids involved, and there might be a need to legalize things. Both for dads or moms to have rights and legal claim for the kids, either one's they have had together or adopting each others kids and it's more then understandable.
In looking at others states in the USA and that in all the states only five I believe legalized same sex marriage, whether in a court ruling or a vote just goes to show you the true colors of the great USA.
I think that besides some states that are more modern and more tolerant towards different communities, in this case gay's, the rest of the US or most of it are states which are stuck in the past.
Those states base themselves a lot on racism towards minority groups, not just gays, but blacks and also other groups.
A lot of those states and people just say that they are following the words of the bible and the lord, but most of us already know that anything you want to justify you can find if you look and try hard enough.
Of course I'm generalizing things, but I do believe that most states have a lot of cities that can't accept others, which doesn't mean that all the people there behave that way, but just a majority or at least the decision makers.
Again, of course that L.A, Boston, San Francisco, NYC, and others are a sign of modern people for the best part and that's mostly what the US shows to the world and the people outside of the country.
I believe that that isn't the true America, but just a part which is put in the front to make the great country out to be something else then it really is, at least in those matters and those subjects and sadly enough those matters are important to a lot of people.
The lyrics of this song, just makes me wonder.....
O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!
O beautiful for pilgrim feet,
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America! God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Kids And Their Parents
Hey
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and getting ready for the playoffs that are starting tomorrow, definitely a good time to be a basketball fan. I just put up a short post about the playoffs and my bracket for anyone interested in checking it out and voicing their opinion.
Anyway, after I talked about marriage on my last post I wanted to add the matter of kids to the equation, of course in the matter of gay parenting.
I know that there are a lot of possibilities to have kids nowadays, for a gay couple there is the possibility of a Surrogate mother, there is the possibility of adopting a child ,or of a gay man and gay woman that decide to have joint custody of a child. I know that there are more options and different one's, I just wrote a few I'm familiar with.
I wonder about myself and how I would deal with this subject. I still have time before I will reach the stage of having children, but I'm sure that I will want them.
I have spoken to a couple of gay guys during my vacations and I always got the impression that some didn't think too much about having children. I wonder if it's the young age, or just the though of living a life of no commitments and sometimes no family.
Maybe once you are already out of the routine way of living, which means a husband and wife, you feel free to just do what you want and not have to answer to societies expectations of a modern family.
I know that usually before kids there needs to be a partner and someone to rise a child with, when I think about myself, I can't help thinking that I will have a problem with having a kid that's not mine biologically, since I'm able to do so.
It's not that I'm going to get a woman pregnant (at least I hope not), but I do want the child to be mine, now for example if me and my partner will want a child it wouldn't be fair to him that I will be the father and he won't.
Adopting is a different story and surrogacy is also a different story, I just feel that I want the child to be mine biologically, guess it's something that I feel strongly about, at least for the moment.
I see my parents and see parents of other friends, I think it's a gift to be a parent and it just amazes me every time to think that, two people can create such an amazing creature. Of course when that creature is cute, good looking and gay, his parents need to get two thumbs up :).
Thinking of that and seeing how kids are a lot of times a splitting image and a mirror of their parents, it's something that I feel I really want to experience and really have the chance to be a part of.
A child that is raised by two gay men or women in my opinion can receive just as good as care as in a straight family, there are enough examples of straight families that the child is abused or neglected or just not cared about.
I strongly believe that people, and no matter straight or gay first of all need to be a certain kind of person to be a good parent, and if you are willing to love your child, care for him and help him through the bad times you should be a parent, no matter who you share your life with.
Relating the NBA, the NCAA and sports, you see and hear to much of players that are 20-22 and already have kids, it's a age that they are still kids and still growing up.
In my opinion they are just hurting their child that won't necessarily receive the best care, and it has nothing to do with money, but with the warmth and the care that they won't receive. In a lot of cases the child is left with his mom, barely sees his dad, and I guess it's not the optimal childhood, but then again, that's just my opinion.
Back to kids who are in gay families, the question of the way they are raised also comes to mind, I know that I will raise my child to make his own decisions and chose his own way, but I'm guessing that there are gay couples and families that might want their kids to also be gay.
None of us know to a certainty how much effect, if at all, the family and the way a person grows up has an effect on someone's sexuality, but maybe their will be some pressure or expectations from the family. I'm not pointing this out as something good, or bad, it's just a way of thinking I guess.
I also believe that kids of gay couples will also be picked on at school sometimes and might have their bad times which they feel different and not accepted but again, I believe strongly that they can have just as good as of a childhood of any other kid, and maybe even better.
Like everything else in the last couple of years, I hear and read more and more about gay parents, I think it's something blessed. Just like I said before, I really believe that if you love your child and you are willing to do what's necessary to promise him a good childhood and you have the tools, both material and mental, then you are fit to be a parent in my book.
To finish up, here is a a song that just goes to show that not every parent is a good one, gay or straight :
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"
my son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and getting ready for the playoffs that are starting tomorrow, definitely a good time to be a basketball fan. I just put up a short post about the playoffs and my bracket for anyone interested in checking it out and voicing their opinion.
Anyway, after I talked about marriage on my last post I wanted to add the matter of kids to the equation, of course in the matter of gay parenting.
I know that there are a lot of possibilities to have kids nowadays, for a gay couple there is the possibility of a Surrogate mother, there is the possibility of adopting a child ,or of a gay man and gay woman that decide to have joint custody of a child. I know that there are more options and different one's, I just wrote a few I'm familiar with.
I wonder about myself and how I would deal with this subject. I still have time before I will reach the stage of having children, but I'm sure that I will want them.
I have spoken to a couple of gay guys during my vacations and I always got the impression that some didn't think too much about having children. I wonder if it's the young age, or just the though of living a life of no commitments and sometimes no family.
Maybe once you are already out of the routine way of living, which means a husband and wife, you feel free to just do what you want and not have to answer to societies expectations of a modern family.
I know that usually before kids there needs to be a partner and someone to rise a child with, when I think about myself, I can't help thinking that I will have a problem with having a kid that's not mine biologically, since I'm able to do so.
It's not that I'm going to get a woman pregnant (at least I hope not), but I do want the child to be mine, now for example if me and my partner will want a child it wouldn't be fair to him that I will be the father and he won't.
Adopting is a different story and surrogacy is also a different story, I just feel that I want the child to be mine biologically, guess it's something that I feel strongly about, at least for the moment.
I see my parents and see parents of other friends, I think it's a gift to be a parent and it just amazes me every time to think that, two people can create such an amazing creature. Of course when that creature is cute, good looking and gay, his parents need to get two thumbs up :).
Thinking of that and seeing how kids are a lot of times a splitting image and a mirror of their parents, it's something that I feel I really want to experience and really have the chance to be a part of.
A child that is raised by two gay men or women in my opinion can receive just as good as care as in a straight family, there are enough examples of straight families that the child is abused or neglected or just not cared about.
I strongly believe that people, and no matter straight or gay first of all need to be a certain kind of person to be a good parent, and if you are willing to love your child, care for him and help him through the bad times you should be a parent, no matter who you share your life with.
Relating the NBA, the NCAA and sports, you see and hear to much of players that are 20-22 and already have kids, it's a age that they are still kids and still growing up.
In my opinion they are just hurting their child that won't necessarily receive the best care, and it has nothing to do with money, but with the warmth and the care that they won't receive. In a lot of cases the child is left with his mom, barely sees his dad, and I guess it's not the optimal childhood, but then again, that's just my opinion.
Back to kids who are in gay families, the question of the way they are raised also comes to mind, I know that I will raise my child to make his own decisions and chose his own way, but I'm guessing that there are gay couples and families that might want their kids to also be gay.
None of us know to a certainty how much effect, if at all, the family and the way a person grows up has an effect on someone's sexuality, but maybe their will be some pressure or expectations from the family. I'm not pointing this out as something good, or bad, it's just a way of thinking I guess.
I also believe that kids of gay couples will also be picked on at school sometimes and might have their bad times which they feel different and not accepted but again, I believe strongly that they can have just as good as of a childhood of any other kid, and maybe even better.
Like everything else in the last couple of years, I hear and read more and more about gay parents, I think it's something blessed. Just like I said before, I really believe that if you love your child and you are willing to do what's necessary to promise him a good childhood and you have the tools, both material and mental, then you are fit to be a parent in my book.
To finish up, here is a a song that just goes to show that not every parent is a good one, gay or straight :
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"
my son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"
NBA Playoffs
Hey
Wanted to put up a short post in for the NBA playoffs that start tomorrow. I'm waiting for this, because first of all there are going to be a lot of really interesting games and match ups, and also this is the team that the basketball gets much more interesting to watch.
I don't want to go on and on about the games and what I think, so I will just give my opinion of the playoffs and the match ups in 2 sentences and who I think is going to win, and basically make a small bracket out of it.
It will be cool if any of you reading the blog will post your bracket and your winners and in the end we will see who wins it all, the winner gets a mention in the blog, hahah....
The West
Lakers- Thunder - the defending champs against the most surprising team of the season, I thought that the Thunder might win a series, but not against the Lakers, even though they don't look good lately. Too much experience and Kobe and Gasol, hope Durant will get some playoff experience for the future,
I say Lakers in five
Dallas - Spurs - A great match up, Dallas is looking strong, and Butler and Haywood just made them stronger, I don't think the Spurs will keep up with Dallas, but with Ginobli and Duncan they won't go down easily, and for sure will make a series out of it.
I say Dallas in six
Suns - Blazers - the suns are still playing their up tempo game with the never ending Nash at the point, the Blazers another surprising team, after they suffered so many injuries, including Brandon Roy a couple of days ago, will be surprise if this goes more then six
I say Suns in six
Nuggets - Jazz - for some periods the Nuggets looked like a strong candidate to win the west, but I think not having their coach will hurt them, I still see them making it through against the Jazz, that are always consistent during the season, but also have a couple of injuries.
I say Nuggets in six
The East
Cavs - Bulls - The bulls had a nice run and clinched the 8th place, Lebron got his rest and is ready to go, I don't think Chicago will have to much influence on this series, the Cavs are just to strong for them
I say Cavs in five
Magic - Bobcats - The bobcats are making the post season for the first time, a nice and young team, but won't be able to match up Dwight Howard and the rest of the Magic players, will be surprised if it goes for more then five
I say Magic in five
Hawks - Bucks - I thought it would be a very close series, but I think Bogut getting injured is just to much for the Bucks who had a great year, the Hawks just have too much talent, and are becoming a regular team in the post season.
I say, the Hawks in six
Celtics - Heat - I think the most interesting series of the playoffs, the Heat have been solid all year and played great in the last stage of the season, the Celtics are hanging around, but haven't looked convincing during the season, I think this will go to seven games.
I say, mmmmm, the Celtics barely in seven.
I see all the home teams go through the first round, even though in the west I think the first round will be closer then what the east will bring to the table.
Second round
Lakers - Nuggets - Not too much to say, if indeed this is the match up it will be close, I don't believe the lakers are as good as last year, and well Denver, it depends also if George Karl will make it back, last year it was an almost, this year I will go for the surprise and say Denver.
I say Denver in seven
Mavs - Suns - A interesting offense show down, I think Dallas is a better all around team, the suns are lacking a big man besides Amare, and since Dallas don't have a big guy also, I think that they have less weakness to hide in this series, I will go with the Mavs
I say, Mavs in six
East
Cavs - Celtics - great match up, even though I think that the Cavs are going to have it easy until the eastern finals, I think the Celtics aren't good enough to take them in a series.
I say Cavs in six
Magic - Hawks - another good match up, the hawks have a lot of talent, but I don't see them match up with the Magic and dealing with Howard.
I say Magic in six
Conference Finals
Mavs - Nuggets - Don't think a lot of people expect this to be the finals, but what the heck, if I get it wrong no one knows who I am anyway, I will go with Nowitzki and company on this one
I say Mavs in seven
Cavs - Magic - the Magic stunned everyone last year and won the series, but more surprising was that they just played far better basketball, I don't think this will be the case this year, I will go with Lebron.
I say Cavs in Seven
Finals
Cavs - Mavs - Well, again, don't really know who thinks this is going to be the finals, but will give it a shot, I think Lebron is going to get his first ring, the only thing that I'm not sure about is their coach's ability, but we will find out.
I say Cavs in six.
I feel like I took a gamble here, but that's all the fun, will be happy to hear everyone else and their opinion and ideas.
Wanted to put up a short post in for the NBA playoffs that start tomorrow. I'm waiting for this, because first of all there are going to be a lot of really interesting games and match ups, and also this is the team that the basketball gets much more interesting to watch.
I don't want to go on and on about the games and what I think, so I will just give my opinion of the playoffs and the match ups in 2 sentences and who I think is going to win, and basically make a small bracket out of it.
It will be cool if any of you reading the blog will post your bracket and your winners and in the end we will see who wins it all, the winner gets a mention in the blog, hahah....
The West
Lakers- Thunder - the defending champs against the most surprising team of the season, I thought that the Thunder might win a series, but not against the Lakers, even though they don't look good lately. Too much experience and Kobe and Gasol, hope Durant will get some playoff experience for the future,
I say Lakers in five
Dallas - Spurs - A great match up, Dallas is looking strong, and Butler and Haywood just made them stronger, I don't think the Spurs will keep up with Dallas, but with Ginobli and Duncan they won't go down easily, and for sure will make a series out of it.
I say Dallas in six
Suns - Blazers - the suns are still playing their up tempo game with the never ending Nash at the point, the Blazers another surprising team, after they suffered so many injuries, including Brandon Roy a couple of days ago, will be surprise if this goes more then six
I say Suns in six
Nuggets - Jazz - for some periods the Nuggets looked like a strong candidate to win the west, but I think not having their coach will hurt them, I still see them making it through against the Jazz, that are always consistent during the season, but also have a couple of injuries.
I say Nuggets in six
The East
Cavs - Bulls - The bulls had a nice run and clinched the 8th place, Lebron got his rest and is ready to go, I don't think Chicago will have to much influence on this series, the Cavs are just to strong for them
I say Cavs in five
Magic - Bobcats - The bobcats are making the post season for the first time, a nice and young team, but won't be able to match up Dwight Howard and the rest of the Magic players, will be surprised if it goes for more then five
I say Magic in five
Hawks - Bucks - I thought it would be a very close series, but I think Bogut getting injured is just to much for the Bucks who had a great year, the Hawks just have too much talent, and are becoming a regular team in the post season.
I say, the Hawks in six
Celtics - Heat - I think the most interesting series of the playoffs, the Heat have been solid all year and played great in the last stage of the season, the Celtics are hanging around, but haven't looked convincing during the season, I think this will go to seven games.
I say, mmmmm, the Celtics barely in seven.
I see all the home teams go through the first round, even though in the west I think the first round will be closer then what the east will bring to the table.
Second round
Lakers - Nuggets - Not too much to say, if indeed this is the match up it will be close, I don't believe the lakers are as good as last year, and well Denver, it depends also if George Karl will make it back, last year it was an almost, this year I will go for the surprise and say Denver.
I say Denver in seven
Mavs - Suns - A interesting offense show down, I think Dallas is a better all around team, the suns are lacking a big man besides Amare, and since Dallas don't have a big guy also, I think that they have less weakness to hide in this series, I will go with the Mavs
I say, Mavs in six
East
Cavs - Celtics - great match up, even though I think that the Cavs are going to have it easy until the eastern finals, I think the Celtics aren't good enough to take them in a series.
I say Cavs in six
Magic - Hawks - another good match up, the hawks have a lot of talent, but I don't see them match up with the Magic and dealing with Howard.
I say Magic in six
Conference Finals
Mavs - Nuggets - Don't think a lot of people expect this to be the finals, but what the heck, if I get it wrong no one knows who I am anyway, I will go with Nowitzki and company on this one
I say Mavs in seven
Cavs - Magic - the Magic stunned everyone last year and won the series, but more surprising was that they just played far better basketball, I don't think this will be the case this year, I will go with Lebron.
I say Cavs in Seven
Finals
Cavs - Mavs - Well, again, don't really know who thinks this is going to be the finals, but will give it a shot, I think Lebron is going to get his first ring, the only thing that I'm not sure about is their coach's ability, but we will find out.
I say Cavs in six.
I feel like I took a gamble here, but that's all the fun, will be happy to hear everyone else and their opinion and ideas.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Marriage
Hey
There is a subject I want to talk about for the next couple of posts, something I haven't touched too much yet, and that's families, marriage and everything on the subject.
I know that a lot of the gay man out there who are closeted or can't fully accept themselves as gay men, or are scared of facing the outcome of it, chose to marry a woman and live a quit life, just going through life and trying to make the best of the situation.
In NO way am I judging those people or do I think that there is a right or wrong answer, its just unfortunate that the situation can be like this and that guys sometimes think that there is no other option, a thought that at the time seems real and more than understandable.
I also heard and read about a lot of people that marry a woman and after ten-twenty years of marriage decide that they can't do it anymore and tell the wife,get a divorce or just move out.
I received a email a couple a weeks ago from a nice guy that is also a sports nut, he told me a couple of days ago that he is married to a woman, and that he is a gay man, he talked about having no hope and thinking that this is how he is going to live his life.
Happily enough he told me that reading blogs like mine and many others made him believe that there is hope and he just told his wife the truth the other day, and that they are getting a divorce. I was happy to hear that he is still in the first years of the marriage and that he has no kids, not for him, but for his wife.
I feel bad for a wife that marries someone she loves and grows a family together with him and eventually finds out that it's all been a lie, and that she was married so many years to someone that is living a lie and essentially her whole life is a lie.
I can only guess that something like this can just crush you, just second guessing everything she want through in life and what was real at of all of it.
I'm sure it's much harder when you also have kids, no doubt a gay man can and does love his kids just the same as anyone else, but I'm sure that the whole situation doesn't help the kids and their childhood.
Of course I was happy for him, I know that it doesn't mean he will be able to just go out and start dating men, I'm sure it's a process that he also needs to find out if he can go through, the only thing I can think of is hoping he makes his last move count, that he will be able to live his life to the fullest and the way he wants to.
There is no simple answer in this matter, I can think about myself for a minute, and if I will be completely honest, I thought that this is the way I'm also going to live my life when I was younger. I thought I will get married to a woman, have kids and just go through life trying to be happy.
In the last years, since I started accepting myself I no longer think like that, for me it would be first of all living a lie and lying not only to myself, but to a woman that loves me and thinks we are going to grow old and have a family together.
I know it comes out like I'm condoning the one's who chose to do so, and that's really far from the truth. Like I said before, I can speak only about myself and my opinion. I cant and don't want to judge others I'm sure that no one walks with a light head to a situation like that.
I'm also sure that they might feel that they will grow into the marriage, or they can't cope or accept being gay and living a gay life, and as someone that isn't living it now, I can more than understand.
There is another situation that exists, I haven't spoken to someone who lives in this situation, but of course it's out there, and that's a gay man and gay woman that decide to live together as a cover story.
That way letting each one live his gay life and maybe have a partner, but at the same time they won't need to worry about being asked about being single, or would have to deal with being gay and out, since they have each other and they are basically each ones cover story.
I think that couples like this, that enter the realtionship knowing about each other and basically enter it to help each other is something much less complicated, because both sides know the intentions of each other and once they don't have sexual desires and thoughts about each other, usually people won't get hurt.
I don't know if personally it's something that I want, it might make my life easier as a gay basketball player, but it's something I don't feel right about, at least at the moment, no women means no women,LOL...
Of course both situations are really different and I know that in reality it's much easier just to go down the road of finding a straight woman to live and have a family with, I can't really guess how much of those relationships hold the distance and how many don't.
Also I can't fully understand each ones thoughts, cause it's exactly that, his thoughts.
I know that there is no black or white and that a lot of time people don't see any other way to go, it's more than acceptable, it's reality and to sum it up with one word, it's LIFE...
Finishing up with some nice lyrics I stumbled across :
Walk with me -- Through all my days
Sleep with me -- And know you're safe
Dream with me -- The whole night long
Wake with me -- To greet each dawn
Work with me -- Throughout the year
Build with me -- We'll build a home
Play with me -- You bring me joy
Rest with me -- And hold me close
Live with me -- Through pain and toil
Laugh with me -- Unleash my soul
Cry with me -- Our tears be one
Hold onto me -- Your pain is mine
Talk with me -- Keeping life anew
Lay with me -- I'm by your side
Dance with me --Our steps in time
Sing with me -- Our songs unsung
There is a subject I want to talk about for the next couple of posts, something I haven't touched too much yet, and that's families, marriage and everything on the subject.
I know that a lot of the gay man out there who are closeted or can't fully accept themselves as gay men, or are scared of facing the outcome of it, chose to marry a woman and live a quit life, just going through life and trying to make the best of the situation.
In NO way am I judging those people or do I think that there is a right or wrong answer, its just unfortunate that the situation can be like this and that guys sometimes think that there is no other option, a thought that at the time seems real and more than understandable.
I also heard and read about a lot of people that marry a woman and after ten-twenty years of marriage decide that they can't do it anymore and tell the wife,get a divorce or just move out.
I received a email a couple a weeks ago from a nice guy that is also a sports nut, he told me a couple of days ago that he is married to a woman, and that he is a gay man, he talked about having no hope and thinking that this is how he is going to live his life.
Happily enough he told me that reading blogs like mine and many others made him believe that there is hope and he just told his wife the truth the other day, and that they are getting a divorce. I was happy to hear that he is still in the first years of the marriage and that he has no kids, not for him, but for his wife.
I feel bad for a wife that marries someone she loves and grows a family together with him and eventually finds out that it's all been a lie, and that she was married so many years to someone that is living a lie and essentially her whole life is a lie.
I can only guess that something like this can just crush you, just second guessing everything she want through in life and what was real at of all of it.
I'm sure it's much harder when you also have kids, no doubt a gay man can and does love his kids just the same as anyone else, but I'm sure that the whole situation doesn't help the kids and their childhood.
Of course I was happy for him, I know that it doesn't mean he will be able to just go out and start dating men, I'm sure it's a process that he also needs to find out if he can go through, the only thing I can think of is hoping he makes his last move count, that he will be able to live his life to the fullest and the way he wants to.
There is no simple answer in this matter, I can think about myself for a minute, and if I will be completely honest, I thought that this is the way I'm also going to live my life when I was younger. I thought I will get married to a woman, have kids and just go through life trying to be happy.
In the last years, since I started accepting myself I no longer think like that, for me it would be first of all living a lie and lying not only to myself, but to a woman that loves me and thinks we are going to grow old and have a family together.
I know it comes out like I'm condoning the one's who chose to do so, and that's really far from the truth. Like I said before, I can speak only about myself and my opinion. I cant and don't want to judge others I'm sure that no one walks with a light head to a situation like that.
I'm also sure that they might feel that they will grow into the marriage, or they can't cope or accept being gay and living a gay life, and as someone that isn't living it now, I can more than understand.
There is another situation that exists, I haven't spoken to someone who lives in this situation, but of course it's out there, and that's a gay man and gay woman that decide to live together as a cover story.
That way letting each one live his gay life and maybe have a partner, but at the same time they won't need to worry about being asked about being single, or would have to deal with being gay and out, since they have each other and they are basically each ones cover story.
I think that couples like this, that enter the realtionship knowing about each other and basically enter it to help each other is something much less complicated, because both sides know the intentions of each other and once they don't have sexual desires and thoughts about each other, usually people won't get hurt.
I don't know if personally it's something that I want, it might make my life easier as a gay basketball player, but it's something I don't feel right about, at least at the moment, no women means no women,LOL...
Of course both situations are really different and I know that in reality it's much easier just to go down the road of finding a straight woman to live and have a family with, I can't really guess how much of those relationships hold the distance and how many don't.
Also I can't fully understand each ones thoughts, cause it's exactly that, his thoughts.
I know that there is no black or white and that a lot of time people don't see any other way to go, it's more than acceptable, it's reality and to sum it up with one word, it's LIFE...
Finishing up with some nice lyrics I stumbled across :
Walk with me -- Through all my days
Sleep with me -- And know you're safe
Dream with me -- The whole night long
Wake with me -- To greet each dawn
Work with me -- Throughout the year
Build with me -- We'll build a home
Play with me -- You bring me joy
Rest with me -- And hold me close
Live with me -- Through pain and toil
Laugh with me -- Unleash my soul
Cry with me -- Our tears be one
Hold onto me -- Your pain is mine
Talk with me -- Keeping life anew
Lay with me -- I'm by your side
Dance with me --Our steps in time
Sing with me -- Our songs unsung
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Moving On
Hey
Before I get started Just want to mention that I was asked by 365gay.com to answer a couple of questions about my blog and my life, so if anyone feels like reading it, the link is : http://www.365gay.com/blog/040610-a-gay-basketball-player-talks-from-the-closet/, hope you enjoy it.
On other matters, I'm really happy to say that I have been receiving a lot of emails, from a lot of different people and a lot of different subjects.
First of all it's great to have people read and enjoy my blog and feel that they can relate, but mostly it gives me a great feeling to hear from others out there, from others that are gay and are battling similar situations like mine. Not in the meaning that they play ball, but in the way that they also can't or have trouble living out their true identity.
I read the other day about Chris Kenyon, a wwe wrestler that came out after he retired and most likely committed suicide. I haven't heard of him before, I was trying to wonder if in someway websites and journalists have a tendency to put the sexual issue in to play only when it has to do with a gay person.
I mean I don't usually read that someone, even if its someone famous that committed suicide was straight. I don't know why it's like that, and maybe it's just a personal feeling I have, but I don't see the relevance of the matter in most cases.
I figure that a lot of times the websites and papers look for that, to find out who is gay and who might be, because in a matter of speaking it can be used as "dirt" against someone. If they find out someone is gay, a lot of times they are tempted to let it be known, they want to have their scope. I think that it reflects poorly or better yet just symbolizes how most people look at the gay culture or at a gay man, not as equal but as something worth hiding.
Besides that, I have had the chance to hear from people that either work for the gay games or are heading out to those games, It's something that sounds so cool and I'm really jealous in many ways. We can leave aside the sports, who cares about that, LOL, I want to see a lot of hot guys, that work out and don't have shirt on, or if they do they can always take it off. Being more serious it sounds somewhat like gay pride.
I have received a lot of emails on the subject of gay pride and I understand that most people see it as a chance to get a lot of different kinds of gay groups together, as a chance for the community to come together, meet different people and just enjoy the presence of each other, I guess in many ways the gay games is the same.
On the one hand you can say that anyone that is gay can just take part in the regular Olympics, because being gay doesn't mean being less of an athlete. On the other side,it is a chance to compete where everyone out there is gay, and a chance to enjoy much more than just the games, but all the things around which are probably most of the fun.
Can't go without writing a little about the finals last night, I really wanted Butler to pull the upset off and win it, sadly enough it was close but only that, they did an amazing thing and played a heck of a tournament, I wonder how they most be feeling, also to think that the chances of repeating a season like this are slim to none.
Baseball season also started a couple of days ago, for a sports fan like me it just means more games to catch on tv and enjoy. interesting to see who will win it all, the only thing I can say, is that I hope it's not those damn Yankees :)
Instead of a song , I will leave you with a nice poem I found for the beginning of baseball season :
Our baseball team never did very much,
we had me and Pee Wee and Earl and Dutch.
And the Oak Street Tigers always got beat
until the new kid moved in on our street.
The kid moved in with a mitt and a bat
and an official New York Yankee hat.
The new kid plays shortstop or second base
and can outrun us all in any place.
The kid never muffs a grounder or fly
no matter how hard it's hit or how high.
And the new kid always acts quite polite,
never yelling or spitting or starting a fight.
We were playing the league champs just last week;
they were trying to break our winning streak.
In the last inning the score was one-one,
when the new kid swung and hit a home run.
A few of the kids and their parents say
they don't believe that the new kid should play.
But she's good as me, Dutch, Pee Wee or Earl,
so we don't care that the new kid's a girl.
Before I get started Just want to mention that I was asked by 365gay.com to answer a couple of questions about my blog and my life, so if anyone feels like reading it, the link is : http://www.365gay.com/blog/040610-a-gay-basketball-player-talks-from-the-closet/, hope you enjoy it.
On other matters, I'm really happy to say that I have been receiving a lot of emails, from a lot of different people and a lot of different subjects.
First of all it's great to have people read and enjoy my blog and feel that they can relate, but mostly it gives me a great feeling to hear from others out there, from others that are gay and are battling similar situations like mine. Not in the meaning that they play ball, but in the way that they also can't or have trouble living out their true identity.
I read the other day about Chris Kenyon, a wwe wrestler that came out after he retired and most likely committed suicide. I haven't heard of him before, I was trying to wonder if in someway websites and journalists have a tendency to put the sexual issue in to play only when it has to do with a gay person.
I mean I don't usually read that someone, even if its someone famous that committed suicide was straight. I don't know why it's like that, and maybe it's just a personal feeling I have, but I don't see the relevance of the matter in most cases.
I figure that a lot of times the websites and papers look for that, to find out who is gay and who might be, because in a matter of speaking it can be used as "dirt" against someone. If they find out someone is gay, a lot of times they are tempted to let it be known, they want to have their scope. I think that it reflects poorly or better yet just symbolizes how most people look at the gay culture or at a gay man, not as equal but as something worth hiding.
Besides that, I have had the chance to hear from people that either work for the gay games or are heading out to those games, It's something that sounds so cool and I'm really jealous in many ways. We can leave aside the sports, who cares about that, LOL, I want to see a lot of hot guys, that work out and don't have shirt on, or if they do they can always take it off. Being more serious it sounds somewhat like gay pride.
I have received a lot of emails on the subject of gay pride and I understand that most people see it as a chance to get a lot of different kinds of gay groups together, as a chance for the community to come together, meet different people and just enjoy the presence of each other, I guess in many ways the gay games is the same.
On the one hand you can say that anyone that is gay can just take part in the regular Olympics, because being gay doesn't mean being less of an athlete. On the other side,it is a chance to compete where everyone out there is gay, and a chance to enjoy much more than just the games, but all the things around which are probably most of the fun.
Can't go without writing a little about the finals last night, I really wanted Butler to pull the upset off and win it, sadly enough it was close but only that, they did an amazing thing and played a heck of a tournament, I wonder how they most be feeling, also to think that the chances of repeating a season like this are slim to none.
Baseball season also started a couple of days ago, for a sports fan like me it just means more games to catch on tv and enjoy. interesting to see who will win it all, the only thing I can say, is that I hope it's not those damn Yankees :)
Instead of a song , I will leave you with a nice poem I found for the beginning of baseball season :
Our baseball team never did very much,
we had me and Pee Wee and Earl and Dutch.
And the Oak Street Tigers always got beat
until the new kid moved in on our street.
The kid moved in with a mitt and a bat
and an official New York Yankee hat.
The new kid plays shortstop or second base
and can outrun us all in any place.
The kid never muffs a grounder or fly
no matter how hard it's hit or how high.
And the new kid always acts quite polite,
never yelling or spitting or starting a fight.
We were playing the league champs just last week;
they were trying to break our winning streak.
In the last inning the score was one-one,
when the new kid swung and hit a home run.
A few of the kids and their parents say
they don't believe that the new kid should play.
But she's good as me, Dutch, Pee Wee or Earl,
so we don't care that the new kid's a girl.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Gay Pride
Hey
I should of put a post up yesterday, it was April fools, but my timing was a little off, but I guess that's life :)
Anyway since the moment has passed, I will move on to bigger and better things. Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend and is getting ready for the final four tomorrow, I decided to go with Michigan State against Duke in the finals, I will find out tomorrow if for a change my guess is also a little educated.
Since the summer is coming up and it's around the time where most of the states in the USA hold the annual gay pride, I thought about writing in the subject a little bit, more about the parade itself. I have never attended one, but I have read about and heard about some of them.
The subject of gay pride brings me to a question that I ask myself and can't really be sure what the "right" answer is, the question of what the parade itself wants to accomplish and does it?.
On one side it's very important and even very heart warming to see everyone go out to the street, to show their presences and to show that we are here and we have our rights and our wishes.
On the other hand, my real question is, don't we want as a gay community want to be accepted as equals, as people that have the same rights and same thoughts and wishes of all other communities, gay or straight?.
I mean, if we just want to be accepted as a part of the regular society and be looked at as just another person that has his own preferences aren't we missing that target by holding the parade, that same parade that brings us off as different than everyone else, as a community that doesn't want to blend in, but rather a community that wants to be seen as different?.
I'm aware of all the things the gay community has had to overcome to get to a situation that it can march proudly and be heard and show that it's not going to give up, be put back in the closet or give anyone a opportunity to take advantage and step all over them.
That just makes my dilemma a lot stronger, heck, I'm for sure happy to see cute and good looking guys wear almost nothing and just in general see everyone dancing and having fun.
I do realize that those weekends have more then just the parade, they remember those who died a long the way from aids with aids quilts, they have parents of kids who were killed because they are gay be heard and just give a opportunity to gay families to come out and enjoy myself.
I guess I'm just trying to ask if in all those events is the parade itself something that doesn't serve the gay community but rather driftes them away from the chance to be looked at not as different, but as a part of the whole community.
Maybe I got it all wrong and most leaders of the gay community don't want to be looked at as everyone else is looked, but to have the gay community stand out and have it's own place.
I don't have an answer that I'm sure is the right one, I can't even say that I have a answer that isn't complicated or isn't somewhere in the middle of both sides, I guess it's not an easy question or a easy situation to pick sides.
I would be happy to hear from anyone that feels like responding in the comments and offer more opinions and more sides to this question.
Thought it would be nice to finish with a song that's related to gay pride :
When I'm alone
and you're away
I just close my eyes
and I drift away
your warm body
is what I'm without
I just close my eyes
and I dream about
Pretty boys and pretty girls
pretty boys and pretty girls
(when I'm without)
pretty boys
(I dream about)
pretty girls
Strangers in the night
exchanging glances
but sex is dangerous
I don't take my chances
the boys I meet
say I look lonely
but I just walk on my
because they're only
I should of put a post up yesterday, it was April fools, but my timing was a little off, but I guess that's life :)
Anyway since the moment has passed, I will move on to bigger and better things. Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend and is getting ready for the final four tomorrow, I decided to go with Michigan State against Duke in the finals, I will find out tomorrow if for a change my guess is also a little educated.
Since the summer is coming up and it's around the time where most of the states in the USA hold the annual gay pride, I thought about writing in the subject a little bit, more about the parade itself. I have never attended one, but I have read about and heard about some of them.
The subject of gay pride brings me to a question that I ask myself and can't really be sure what the "right" answer is, the question of what the parade itself wants to accomplish and does it?.
On one side it's very important and even very heart warming to see everyone go out to the street, to show their presences and to show that we are here and we have our rights and our wishes.
On the other hand, my real question is, don't we want as a gay community want to be accepted as equals, as people that have the same rights and same thoughts and wishes of all other communities, gay or straight?.
I mean, if we just want to be accepted as a part of the regular society and be looked at as just another person that has his own preferences aren't we missing that target by holding the parade, that same parade that brings us off as different than everyone else, as a community that doesn't want to blend in, but rather a community that wants to be seen as different?.
I'm aware of all the things the gay community has had to overcome to get to a situation that it can march proudly and be heard and show that it's not going to give up, be put back in the closet or give anyone a opportunity to take advantage and step all over them.
That just makes my dilemma a lot stronger, heck, I'm for sure happy to see cute and good looking guys wear almost nothing and just in general see everyone dancing and having fun.
I do realize that those weekends have more then just the parade, they remember those who died a long the way from aids with aids quilts, they have parents of kids who were killed because they are gay be heard and just give a opportunity to gay families to come out and enjoy myself.
I guess I'm just trying to ask if in all those events is the parade itself something that doesn't serve the gay community but rather driftes them away from the chance to be looked at not as different, but as a part of the whole community.
Maybe I got it all wrong and most leaders of the gay community don't want to be looked at as everyone else is looked, but to have the gay community stand out and have it's own place.
I don't have an answer that I'm sure is the right one, I can't even say that I have a answer that isn't complicated or isn't somewhere in the middle of both sides, I guess it's not an easy question or a easy situation to pick sides.
I would be happy to hear from anyone that feels like responding in the comments and offer more opinions and more sides to this question.
Thought it would be nice to finish with a song that's related to gay pride :
When I'm alone
and you're away
I just close my eyes
and I drift away
your warm body
is what I'm without
I just close my eyes
and I dream about
Pretty boys and pretty girls
pretty boys and pretty girls
(when I'm without)
pretty boys
(I dream about)
pretty girls
Strangers in the night
exchanging glances
but sex is dangerous
I don't take my chances
the boys I meet
say I look lonely
but I just walk on my
because they're only
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